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Control is how much power your family has over the other nobles, this can only be altered through political events.
Power is basically the average of dominion and control to represent total power. Going too high or too low has various benefits and penalties.
Characters can spend influence to perform political actions. Gather support will force a control shift which can sometimes backfire or require additional influence to get what you want. If the other nobles have too much influence you could try to assassinate one or probably better to adopt them in to your family. If your family has too much influence you could try to burn some off by embezzeling funds etc.
39% power isn't too bad you just need a bit more dominion (more influence for your family or less for the other nobles). Give your family members some jobs. Being a governer is a good steady gain in influence every turn. It's better to have lots of influence and find ways to burn it off than be struggling with nothing.
Well, my young heir died somewhere along the way, and I had saved over my game before I realised it, so until the other heir comes of age I'm stuck with my king as the only family member who can do anything, and he's busy heading my main army.
I reloaded the game, and now, several turns later, the king is alive and well, but now I'm worried he'll drop dead at any moment.
Can someone shed light on this?