Coop campaign problem joining partner

[HalloweenWeed (US)]

Hello a friend and I started a coop campaign game together, she was host. Now when she loads the game I get no option to join and she gets no option to invite. Are we doing something wrong? Here is the specifics:

We are both on full online status.
She selects "single player" --> "load game" and selects a game (the only one actually) where I was playing with her. We see no other way to load game other than "continue campaign," tried that first.
When pressing <Esc> she gets no "invite player" in the lower right corner.
When she selects me in the steam overlay, no "invite player" option.
When I select her in the overlay, I get no "join game" option (greyed out).
We have checked her loaded in-game options and see no option for private/coop game.

What are we missing here? We were playing together before, what the heck?

[Smokey <<AD>>]

you cannot join or invite in single player

[runforit??]

when you start game, go into co-op and the options are there