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Scaling is mainly based on wealth and population, it's not exponential, it's a softening curve with the scaling slowing down as you build up wealth until eventually hitting a cap. If you'd like to look into the mechanics of it the wiki has a good writeup as well as covering other elements of it, like adaption which makes things easier when you struggle, and storyteller difficulty like Randy who can throw harder raids at you occasionally.
https://rimworldwiki.com/wiki/Raid_points
The game has a custom difficulty setting, you can adjust the sliders on many things to exactly what you want, you can also adjust this mid game so if things are too easy or hard at any given time you can fine-tune it on the go to keep the game where you want it.
I find Losing is Fun to be more fun because it starts hard and stays hard so no difficulty curves, the game tries from the very start to kill me so once I survive the start and get a base going the difficulty seems to stay pretty even the rest of the game.
Honestly Phoebe on Strive to Survive might be what you are looking for.
Also, apart from crypto caskets and resurrector gadgets, there's always reload and dev mode, Character Editor etc. Death doesn't have to be permanent.
If you're playing your game, and you get a 50-man raid... just dev mode "force enemy flee" and relax. There might not ever be a way to tweak the game exactly as you want it, but there's probably a way around the issues if you look hard enough.
There's a lot of skill involved, some cheese too, but what gives the game life is the stories.
I believe the reason the comment was made, is so people focus on what makes each run special, so when you do lose, it's not just "Oh well, I suck, I know what I'm doing next time. There goes another __ hour run."
Anyway, you may want to go into custom difficulty and set Adaptation growth rate to 0. Doing that plus learning to manage your excess wealth make the difficulty scaling a lot... flatter.