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You get a growth moment at the start of age 7, 10, and 13 (3 in total).
Depending on your growth tier, you could get as few as "here's the trait you get" and as good as "here's 6 traits, pick 1, and here's 6 skills, pick 3 to increase your passion level by 1).
Growth level is kinda tricky. It slowly accumulates over time based on how full the child's "learning" bar is. A child will seek out learning at around 88%-ish or lower on the learning bar, provided one of the types of learning they want to do is available (shown by icons over their learning bar on the needs screen...if they only want to do radiotalking and lesson taking, but you have no comms console or desks, the kid won't do learning).
assuming you are mindful of having all the learning types available, and keep the kid's schedule unintrusive (so you're not forcing them to work over learning), and you have the child for the FULL amount of time (3 to 7, 7, to 10, and 10 to 13), you will likely BARELY get to the highest growth tier, maybe a day or two before aging up (children age up 4x faster than adults by default...so 1 quadrum = 1 child year...you can change this in the settings from 1x to 6x speed, and the growth level gain rate changes to match)
Growth tiers are HEAVILY weighted to be more beneficial at the end than early on....tier 1 gives 1 trait from 2 options, tier 2 gives 1 trait for 3 options, tier 3 gives 1 trait for 4 options. You don't even get a passion choice until tier 4 (there are 8 total, and tier 8 is a good 200% better than, say, tier 6, for skill passions).
This means that recruiting kids is far, far worse on their development than having your own. Even recruiting a 3, 7, or 10 year old, if its not in the very first couple days of them hitting 3, 7, or 10, you're almost certainly not going to hit the top growth tier (since all recruited children start at growth tier 0, even if they're already 6 years and 3 quadrums old and only have a couple days til they hit 7)
I was gonna add... I've actually abducted a few kids over last several runs. While you likely won't get them to max learning that first cycle you get them, I've found kids with skills/bonuses already and done well with them. Obviously the *best* way is to have them in-house... but infants are a serious pain the ass (unsurprisingly). Children can be useful for cleaning and hauling while learning.
And there are no downsides to putting a newborn into growth vat straight outta the mother. Mom pops out a baby, someone else picks up baby and sticks it in the vat, 9 days later you have a 3 year old (I think I remember the game saying growth vats are a 20x aging speed).
You get a pause notification when they hit 3, so just click the vat -> cancel vatgrowth and a 3 year old pops right out ready to go.