Tales From The Rimworld

[cg9977]

Hey fellow colonists. It's only been a few days since the release of Rimworld and i'm already hooked. Perhaps my favorite part about it is just how messed up this game can be at times.

I mean just yesterday i had to blow off one of my colonists arms because they had decided that the best way to recover from a daze was to strip naked and sit in the refrigerator. Smart right? Anyway by the time i noticed most of his toes had fallen off due to hypothermia, instead of allowing himself to be gently herded to the medical ward by the officer i had assigned to .. ahem.. arrest him, he went beserk and killed the officer with his doomsday launcher along with a good chunk of my food storage. Anyway, we put a few slugs in him and when the dust settled he was incapacitated with the remains of his left arm splattered across the wall. Fun times.

Anyway, the point of this thread is that i'd like to here your wacky tales of adventure. Did your budding pyromaniac burn down your house with everyone still inside? Did a ravenous herd of Muffalo slaughter your colony to get to the last living plants on an otherwise toxic wasteland? Well, feel free to take a load off your mangled legs, have a cold beer and a nice totally not human steak and share a few tales with us. Now if you'll excuse me, some idiot with a bionic limb has locked himself in the freezer.

[Pumble]

My character was a cannibal psychopath, living at -70 degree polar mountain. I have things going good. Then his mum arrived on a cargo pod. She is the worst person ever. A jealous, depressive person who is mostly and utterly useless, and berserk rages constantly. She attacked her son and broke his arm with a punch. So he hit her back and broke her jaw. Then I put her into a cell because she can't act like a rational person. Even my cannibal psycho keeps his cool way better than her.
Oh, and I had a big strong lady who had her nose torn off by a bear, and a peg leg from from an infection, and all the men are trying to seduce her.

[SlicedAndDiced]

I made a Bio on all of my colonist... I have a story for each of them.. they are not made up this all happened in game. I just added dialog and flavor to it to make more interesting. This the story of my most improtant builder. On how i got her and how i lost her D:.

I'll Tell you the Story of Lucia Wilcox. Lucia spent her childhood years as a refuge. went she turned 17 she became an engineer. Although she was an execellent builder she felt it wasn't the life she wanted. So she quit and joined her aunt and brother as pirate! She was so excited!

As part of her initiation, the Boss put her on a raid mission against a small newly formed colony, Named "FlowerVille". So she set off for the colony with 4 other pirates in her party.

They arrived near the colony around dusk so they decided to wait until it gets dark before they attacked. And sure enough as soon as it got dark they attacked... But it was too quiet... and then RATATATAATTATA! suddenly out of nowwhere GUN FIRE!! THE COLONY HAD AUTO TURRETS!!. The Party decided to fall back for and come up with plan... the raid party leader said, "alright! you two use the EMP grenade to disable the turret, I'll cover you, and you Fat ass! Take the new girl and flank around that building, SOMEONE turned on Those TURRETS!! make you get them!". And soo they proceed with the plan, The leader went and distracted the turret so the Two other members could emp the turret. While Lucia and Mr. Fatass went around and flanked. Everything was going smoothly until PEW PEW PEW PEW!!!! Suddenly a loud voice shouted from a distance, "THE BOSS IS DEAD!!". "♥♥♥♥! Kid we better fall back ", said mr. Fatass. Lucia quiet nod as they start to fall back. As turn she corner, BANG! She Suddenly fell down! She looked towards Mr. Fatass and saw him running away from her. "Wait! what happened?" She tries to stand up but she couldn't. "whats going on?", she as she look down on her legs. THEN She screams in Pain as her mind had realized what had happened. Her Left leg was gone!


Okay i'll leave there for now!

I also a story about The Gay Geologist in my colony. He has a pretty face and all the chicks like him. but he Woos dude all the time!

And a Story of My second colonist. a few days after he joined in he wanted to name the colony "FlowerVille". I had no idea why then i realize that he was a Massive Hippie!

[0mzzz]

A group of raiders attacked my settlement. I had 4 colonists, one of which was non-violent. The leader of my crew, Gil 'Alpha' Mortis, was killed in battle. Two other colonists, one being his older sister, killed two of the raiders and chased off the other two. The coward Dixon, who joined us a few days after landing, did nothing. Alpha's sister made a sacrophragus or him. The image on it was one of Gil throwing up. Ahh, memories.

Dixon got what he deserved, to my own dismay. The idiot got killed by a trap he built...

Few days later, another group of raiders attacked. It was two vs two. One of my colonists, Gils' sister 'Mortis' had tamed 3 boomalope. Boomalope 2 sacrificed herself, exploding as one of the raiders killed her. The other raider critically injured Lucia (not the same Lucia lol). Mortis had to rescue her herself. Later that night, Mortis lost her mind and went Berserk. She started attacking two of the remaining boomalopes. Boomalope 3 didn't retaliate, but boomalope 1 woudn't have any of her **** and fought back. Mortis was left outside, incapacitaded while her dear friend Lucia died slowly and painfully in bed. Mortis eventually died of starvation. Her two boomalopes were killed by a pirate, who also destroyed Dixons' sacrophagus, then left. If only he could have used his gun. If only.

Now, all that remains is one self-tamed boomalope. Boomalope 1 II. Who literally just killed a pirate as I was typing this. The legacy of New Town lives on in the courage of Boomalope 1 II, more courageous than Dixon ever could be.

**Part 2 (same game)

Jason escaped a couple of pirates, and found New Town. I accepted his request for refuge. On his way to New Town, he got attacked by a rabid squirrel. Killing the squirrel took valuable time, and his former owners caught up with him. Jason rushed to New Town, taking shots from the pirates. He rushed through the hole into the main base of New Town, grabbed a rifle, and started shooting at one of the pirates who was destroying 'Alphas' memorial grave. Jason was a poor shot, and he missed with all of his shots. Desperate, he rushed into a room and grabbed a poor club, jumping one of the pirates from behind as they attacked a storage shelf. Meanwhile, the second pirate was attacking Boomalope 1 II, who unlike previously, didn't put up a fight and was knocked into a state of shock. Jason shortly followed... and the pirates decided to kidnap him again. Thus New Town lost a potential saviour.

(Yes, I am letting the game play out in the background in hopes I can get another colonist to restore New Town)

***Part 3

Diana Booth, a 33-year old trigger happy pyromaniac found the colony on day 40, the 11th of Fall, 5500. The saga of New Town continues...

Day 44... Booth was kidnapped by a lone raider, after being knocked out in a melee fight with him. She healed Boomalope 1 II, so not all was lost. She didn't like taking orders, anyway.

***Part 4

Well, New Town is becoming an animal sanctuary. Aside from Boomalope 1 II, a doe (Doe 1) self-tamed itself, and two camels (Dromedary 1 & 2) also joined my colony on day 46.

*****Final Part

Padilla joined the colony, after escaping a pair of slavers. She killed one of them, scaring the other away, and immediately began restoring the base. Padilla was a cannibal, and she captured a previous raider who got mauled by traders - also a cannibal. Together, Padilla and her prisoner ate the unfortunate souls who fell from escape pods. Food got short, so Padilla was left with no choice but to also kill Doe 1 and Dromedary 2, and eat them raw.

Padilla tried recruiting her prisoner, Shouta, with no success. On day 57, a raider armed with molotovs attacked New Town. At this time, Padilla had Shouta locked away and also captured an injured colonist named Anita. Anita was to be their next snack, but fate had a different plan.

The raider attacked with his molotovs, and at this time, Padilla had a mental breakdown and went beserk. In her rage, she began beating on Boomalope 1 II, then made her way towards Shouta's room. With the entrance of the base in flames, she opened his door and began to beat on her unsuspecting friend mercilessly. She would have killed him, had the raider not gotten her attention. Padilla was killed by the raider, who stole her knife and left, leaving the building burning, Anita in bed needing treatment, and both Shouta and Boomalope 1 II in a state of shock while the building continued to burn.

Domedary 1 lived. Domedary 1 was pregnant. But New Town burned to the ground.

If only Dixon used his gun. Things may have turned out well for this bunch. All that remains is a camel, and a prisoner who was going to be eaten. All because of Dixon.