why did the dev leave in the constant stupid romance attempts?

[cloning_souls]

ive got a female that had to rebuff 5 males on the day of her wedding,
its almost constant to the point that it acts like a bug.

why did the dev choose to leave this crap in the game? its not at all a good feature


luckily i found* Less Stupid Romance Attempt mod * which just nerfs the bullsh*t out

without adding in a complex system of what gender fluid romance should be.

[Preechr]

Speaking from the point of view of a person that is pretty disappointed with the sex obsession of people in real life on our planet as well as someone that's old enough to see just how modern the concept of at least pretending to be respectful of women actually is, I can only imagine how survivors of a crashlanded spacecraft on a Rimworld planet would deal with the stress.

Be thankful the vanilla game at least requires consent.

...and yes, Martin, we know... no need to name and link the mod :D

[stevasaur]

On the flip side to the OP, I've always had real problems getting my colonists to hook up: both in vanilla as well as with social mods like Psychology. One of my rules is that when I'm not doing a slaves/Robots only colony, my colony should ideally consist of mated pairs, both to save on bedroom space (you can have nice bedrooms, or you can have individual bedrooms: pick one) as well as the associated mood buffs from marriages/Lovin' etc. If I end up with a Gay pawn, I will move heaven and earth to acquire a same-gender, age-appropriate Gay counterpart, even if their traits/skills are garbage. This includes very carefully shooting appropriate raiders with low-damage, bleeding weapons and letting them get downed by blood loss so that they don't die instantly upon getting downed.

Even on my Robots/Slaves only playthroughs, I still make the effort to give my androids/slaves a chance for romance, and give them a big communal recreation room with shared rec time.

However, actually getting my pawns to make romance attempts is almost always frustrating. The attraction/compatibility stats (which are hidden behind the dev console and apparently determine the likelihood of social interactions) are notoriously opaque, and RNG can absolutely screw you over. I've had a situation where my primary researcher/cook and my primary constructor/planter were at 100 mutual relations, had decent compatibility/attraction, and it still took four years of in-game time for one of them to make a move. Funnily enough, only one of the pawns had "RomanceAttempt" in her potential interactions list, while Cobb (my researcher) only had Chitchat and Deep Talk. Fortunately, she finally worked up the courage to ask, Cobb accepted on the spot, and they're now happily married on the Rim. (Well, actually, they're just fiancee at the moment: the marriage hasn't fired yet. I suppose there's plenty of time for a Scyther to eat Cobb's face off, right?).

[LYNX Scout]

I've never really dealt with "endless" romance attempts. One of my saved prepare carefully characters really disliked being single and he would basically hit on everyone till someone decided they were okay with that, but never had any of this ever felt game breaking. Psychology will lower the # of attempts (it feels like it, anyway) but welp, Eridani is still pretty much a serial monogamist. And if he marries Mila, she will inevitably crank out as many babies as possible (I run children mods too, cause hey.)

The only thing in Rimworld that ever "annoys me" is psychic and poison ships -- so they're deactivated. Pawns flirting with one another in this game is "The Sims"-like to me so I approve of it -- even at the worst I've seen it in this game it doesn't even begin to approach the drama in the Sims 3/4.

[Lady Crimson (RIP)]

Honestly trying to get my people to romance more so there's more pregnancies in my colony.

Great for population growth.

Also I made them all polyamorous at the start.. so I have no problems with the hitting on aspect.. though I do wish they made polyamorous relationships a bit more bed-friendly.. since you only sleep with one person at a time and once it switches over you basically ignore the previous person even if they didn't break up.

[slightlyaskew]

@ martindirt, I had presumed english was not your first language, and would never disparage you for that, I am not multilingual in the slightest, you're already leaps and bounds ahead of me there. I presume you are a child because you expressed a sincere belief not only that an attractive woman gets hit on 100's of times a day ( a bit busy, that), but also that you think that is somehow reasonable behavior and suggesting the OP was naive for thinking the romance code was idiotic. It's idiotic. It's ridiculous. A solitary person does not attempt romance over and over with the same person who continuously says "nah" without getting an eventual restraining order. It is just far to aggressive. If your argument is that "hey it's a border world, ♥♥♥♥ is savage", well that means you are depending on one another to survive. my pawn with beautiful is also my crack shot. What would really happen is that as soon as there were more bodies to do the work, he's exiled and fed to the wargs. Does he want that? (Reader, he did not). But if ALL the men behave thusly, that is not an option, you have to mod it out, and if you have to mod it out, now we're back to where we started.
I could see working it in with the psychopath, abrasive and misogynist traits. Those traits I could see logically pushing that behavior, it would be good code. to have my pawn whose only traits are kind and too-smart constantly and aggressively harassing my married female colonist isn't at all well thought out.
On the wedding side, you must hang out with really horrible people, I suggest you expand your social group.
I just started playing this game. I love it, I think it's awesome, and I still think the romance code sucks, and that's ok. I wanted to play a bit before modding to get a feel for it, and after being felt up by Tom the gardener every five damned minutes, i'm definitely ready to mod.

[Bozobub]

So, you believe "restraining orders" exist on the Rim? Yeah...no. Furthermore, small communities operate this way even now, IRL.

Think of it this way: The only biddable human(s) is/are the ones in your community; the rest are *at best* savages, and at worst, bloody pirates.

Your colonists are persistent because people get horny, that simple, and those immediately nearby are the most likely targets of affection. There's absolutely nothing weird about this at all.

[slightlyaskew]

Thx for the heads up, Bozo. The person I'm responding to was conflating behavior irl to the game, thus the comparison. To be fair, so was I. Reading is cool, try that.
Being rebuffed every hour is definitely super weird for a person trying to survive in a small space with other people. If you want aggressive sexuality, build it into traits, it doesn't make sense as a default.

[Bozobub]

All you need to do is to stop and think what a "rebuffed advance" means here. Personally, I think "advance" means ANY interaction that could be construed as positive reinforcement of the potential relationship. This could be a smile, a joke, a wink, a smack on the heinie, etc., etc., to the limits of imagination and human interaction. The person initiating the exchange might be shut down before they can say a word with a glare, the joke is taken wrong, the wink accidentally looks like a rude leer, the smackee get p!ssed at the smacker, and so on.

Or hey, they were just ignored. Or an attempt at conversation petered out to nothing. *shrug*

Have you ever watched from outside, when one person is interested in another? It makes perfect sense as a default, in my opinion ^^'.

"Reading is cool," sure, but basic knowledge of human interaction and less-tight, unbunched underwear can be nice, as well =).

[Morkonan]

Originally posted by Kulgan from Crydee:

I'm pretty sure I've hit on the new bride at a few weddings.
...not totally sure I was rebuffed every time either.

A fraternity brother hit on my new wife at my wedding reception... He was nearly blind drunk and others successfully reminded him that she was probably the only woman at the reception that was guaranteed to have a companion already lined up for that night... :)

Protip - Focus your efforts on Bridesmaids and visiting ladies from "out of town"... (The latter is the optimal choice if it's available. :) )

For the OP:

Even though a potential suitor will be rebuffed many times, that doesn't mean they will always continue to fail. I've had persistent suitors achieve eventual success even though the situation looks nearly hopeless. (I don't think it's possible for mixed-sexuality marriages, though. BUT, it's Rimworld, so maybe an extreme occasion like that could be possible given certain circumstances? Just no "luvin'" so a platonic relationship at best? No idea, haven't looked.)

[LYNX Scout]

Also to point this out again very specifically versus me just babbling - Psychology mod adds a lot on nuance to each pawn in regards to other personality traits besides the base 1-5, and so there are less automatic "If beautiful then follow around drooling" sort of issues with pawns hooking up / breaking up / attempting to hook up. I haven't used the relationship mod linked in this thread because I haven't had a need for it. There seems to be less "random" relationship attempts if it is running, and the relationships that do form seem to last for quite a bit without having to worry too hard about making sure they're attached at the hip work/sleep/entertainment schedule wise.

[kevinshow]

Originally posted by M.K.:

Originally posted by cloning_souls:

ive got a female that had to rebuff 5 males on the day of her wedding,
its almost constant to the point that it acts like a bug.

why did the dev choose to leave this crap in the game? its not at all a good feature

So you believe the dev should have used a system that is LESS true-to-life?

I personally know 1 person that cancelled his wedding to run off with a bridesmaid, whom he met *on the day of the failed wedding*, and I know another girl that is getting divorced soon. She is 6 months pregnant, the paternity test matches a guest who was only in the country for the wedding, 6 months ago. (the groom got suspicious, as either his vasectomy failed, or an immaculate conception was in the works. both are possible but very very unlikely)

So explain to me again just why, exactly, you feel that romantic/sexual interplay with the bride or groom at a wedding is unrealistic?

how did they know it matches the guest that was only in-country for the wedding?

that would mean they have the DNA of that guest, right?

as for the game mechanics, if this is being done because of the "Beautiful" trait, then yes, just like some players don't take colonists with "lazy", "pyro", "chemical fascination" , "jealous" etc then it could be that OP just has to avoid "beautiful" colonists also.