Craziest Rimworld Stories?

[Bodacious Boomerang]

Thought we should get a thread going of everyone's craziest rimworld stories :)

[KalkiKrosah]

Any time I make it to end game I like to gather up all the wounded raiders who raided my colony, give them peg legs and set them free. Only I start shooting mortars at them as they race to the finish. One time my mortar missed the fleeing prisoner and hit a bear. The bear got angry and mauled the guy to death. Then the bear started attacking my door as if the door was responsible for shooting him with the mortar. I killed the bear in melee combat and made a rug out of him. A little while later one of my colonists made a sculpture about the time a bear killed a fleeing prisoner. Thirteen foxes were grinning about it too. I put the sculpture in my prioner's quarters since I felt like that was the most appropriate spot for it.

[Kid 1,000]

60+ centipede raid which killed almost all my colonists. Put the pawns I really liked in cold storage while the remaining mechs slowly destroyed my base and fell one at a time to traps and kill boxes. One centipede caused timber wolf revenge, and the wolf managed to kill the centipede before dying. Traders came by and killed some, and then some other faction sent help and killed a few more before retreating. Wanderer joined and managed to kill a centipede by getting the others to shoot at it while shooting at her. She died. A lot of friendly fire killed the centipedes while they fired at turrets. Eventually they all died and a new wandered joined, opened the cryptosleep caskets, and we rebuilt. Pic related is from a 56 centipede raid that I managed to survive using EMPs successfully.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1424776732

[Henry of Skalitz]

I use a mod for 1.0 called Children and learning or something along those lines. I have a 71 year old prisoner. Cut out her left kidney and left lung, gave her 2 peg legs, installed denture and then removed it so she doesn't have a jaw. The mod allows to artificially impregnate people. I did so with my prisoner. Now I plan to have a colony of slave children. It will take a while though, because pregnancy lasts for 45 days. I will teach the children the ways of evilness and then force them to kill their own mother and butcher her and eat her. Yea, I'm so freaking evil!

I almost forgot
After cutting out her organs, giving peg legs and impregnating my guard went to recruit her. It was something along those lines: "(colonist) promised free, fresh eggplants and asked (prisoner) to join the colony"

Edit:

https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1447055199

[Bodacious Boomerang]

I ignored a bug hive for a little too long and it got really out of hand really quickly.
There must have been well over 100 bugs and I decided it was time to deal with them, at first I just put a large 3 thick wooden wall around all the hives but I decided I would have to try kill them all at some point and the sooner the better. I got incendiary shells for my mortar and began to fire it at the bug hives from within my base walls. 1 shot was fired and the all the bugs went insane and started streaming into my base, completely ignoring my turret setup and the 4 colonists left to deal with the situation. They continued to ravage the base so I called for immediate military support from 3 different factions, a trader caravan visited at the same time and I thought I was saved. I WAS NOT. They got all got ripped apart and I spent the next 10 minutes with 1 lone survivor in a single room hoping they didnt find him... they did.

[The Safe and Sterile Bread-Tan]

Decided to try and make a colony that was a man that left his old settlement with his pet rats.

They uh... Kept having kids. A lot. It's hard to feed them...

And the uh... High rat population is drawing a lot of predators...

It's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ war zone.

[Henry of Skalitz]

Originally posted by The Kawaii and Ecchi Bread-Tan:

Decided to try and make a colony that was a man that left his old settlement with his pet rats.

They uh... Kept having kids. A lot. It's hard to feed them...

And the uh... High rat population is drawing a lot of predators...

It's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ war zone.

The way you described it gave me a slight laugh

Casually reading the story "high rat population"

And then suddenly

"It's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ war zone"

And the best is that I read the whole text with a calm and confused voice, but when that last line came I read it in a screaming voice.

[ignis]

Originally posted by The Kawaii and Ecchi Bread-Tan:

And the uh... High rat population is drawing a lot of predators...

Are you sure? Tamed animals shouldn't have any effect on wild population.

[The Safe and Sterile Bread-Tan]

Originally posted by Smelly Fish:

Originally posted by The Kawaii and Ecchi Bread-Tan:

Decided to try and make a colony that was a man that left his old settlement with his pet rats.

They uh... Kept having kids. A lot. It's hard to feed them...

And the uh... High rat population is drawing a lot of predators...

It's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ war zone.

The way you described it gave me a slight laugh

Casually reading the story "high rat population"

And then suddenly

"It's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ war zone"

And the best is that I read the whole text with a calm and confused voice, but when that last line came I read it in a screaming voice.

You should hear how much they ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ eat.

I only have a small bit of farming land so far since it's still pretty early into the colony's creation.

Almost all of it is dandelions for the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ things. Not only that I have a hole I dug out to dump raider bodies just to continue feeding the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

The bodies disapear very fast.

[Henry of Skalitz]

Originally posted by The Kawaii and Ecchi Bread-Tan:

Originally posted by Smelly Fish:

The way you described it gave me a slight laugh

Casually reading the story "high rat population"

And then suddenly

"It's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ war zone"

And the best is that I read the whole text with a calm and confused voice, but when that last line came I read it in a screaming voice.

You should hear how much they ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ eat.

I only have a small bit of farming land so far since it's still pretty early into the colony's creation.

Almost all of it is dandelions for the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ things. Not only that I have a hole I dug out to dump raider bodies just to continue feeding the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

The bodies disapear very fast.

Make a growing zone. Plant hay there. It's much more efficient than making them graze.

[corisai]

Originally posted by Smelly Fish:

Originally posted by The Kawaii and Ecchi Bread-Tan:

You should hear how much they ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ eat.

I only have a small bit of farming land so far since it's still pretty early into the colony's creation.

Almost all of it is dandelions for the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ things. Not only that I have a hole I dug out to dump raider bodies just to continue feeding the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

The bodies disapear very fast.

Make a growing zone. Plant hay there. It's much more efficient than making them graze.

But only if you allow hay to growth and collect it with your colonists. Allowing animals to graze on any growing zone is very ineffective solution in most cases.

[The Safe and Sterile Bread-Tan]

Originally posted by corisai:

Originally posted by Smelly Fish:

Make a growing zone. Plant hay there. It's much more efficient than making them graze.

But only if you allow hay to growth and collect it with your colonists. Allowing animals to graze on any growing zone is very ineffective solution in most cases.

This. They eat ♥♥♥♥ too fast for me to actually grow it so Dandelions until haygrass is viable.

[TSense]

i love these, let me just get my story from the last one....


Hear the story of the badass formerly known as Muffalo 2:

>Start game with 2 people, brother and sister. Also lovers, because Rimworld does not judge.
>Start with NOTHING, naked in the woods.
>Know this game well, build small camp on mountain side.
>Herd of Muffalos show up -> perfect, muffalos are the master race.
>Try to tame them all. Hope for young females because they give milk and are more healthy.
>(Muffalos live up to 20 years, aka around 4 to 8 would be good)
>Frist one is a female at 10, good
>Then i get a male at the age of 18, already half blind. He is named Muffalo 2 because of course he is
>Great, gonna eat him this winter
>before i can tame the rest, lighting storm happens and the wild ones wander off
>lighting storm hits Muffalo 2 as he sleeps
>great gonna eat him then sooner
>he runs around for 8 hours until it rains
>mfw
>his head and left eye are burned badly
>he is as blind as before because the left one was ♥♥♥♥ anyway
>♥♥♥♥♥♥ keeps sleeping and eating grass outside like it was nothing, doesn't give a ♥♥♥♥
>2 years later i tame 6 more and was breeding
>Muffalo 2, he is 20 now, got problems with Alzheimer, but fathers 12
>need to push my animal skill, so i train all my Muffalos to follow and fight
>next raid i find out that this is the best idea ever
>eat your own muffalos without "killed pet" mood debuff
>muffalos are a ♥♥♥♥♥ to hunt because they can take so many hits
>let raiders get close, have 18 muffalos wait on the other side of the door
>works for 2 more raids.
>wife/sister is pregnant (yeah mods) and moves 60% slower
>surprise raid smashes into roof, right into the room she is in.
>can't take a bullet while fighting because baby, can't run
>she hides behind our Plasma TV while everyone else comes running with guns, but the raiders focus her
> ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ MUFFALO 2 RUNS IN LIKE USAIN BOLT ON LUCIFERUM
> JUMPS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER AND CATCHES BULLETS WITH SKULL LIKE IT IS NOTHING
>rest of the muffalos show up, defenders also made it around now
>giant mess of raiders and muffalos beating each other while my guys shoot in
>world war 2 in my eating room
>blood EVERYWHERE
>finish off last raiders, take one to harvest organs later
>muffalos that survived walk off, some bleed badly
>freezer is half empty anyway, let them walk themself there.
>look over the bodys, something is moving
>someone is kocked out, extrem bloodloss
>It's Muffalo 2
>0.16 hours left to life
>don't move him, patch him up without meds right there
>everytime he hits 0.01 or something my doc finishes a other wound and brings him some more time.
>for the next 12 hours he never gets above 0.5
>my main guy drops of some of his Luciferum, give it to him
>Muffalo 2 bonded with you. You named him "Sadness"
>like hell this badass will always be Muffalo 2 to me.
>full recovery

>I still see an old muffalo bull with a burn scar on his left eye in my dreams
>thank you Muffalo 2, you made me a better man
>someone draw fanart plz
>that's not water in my eyes

[TSense]

Originally posted by Smelly Fish:

I use a mod for 1.0 called Children and learning or something along those lines. I have a 71 year old prisoner. Cut out her left kidney and left lung, gave her 2 peg legs, installed denture and then removed it so she doesn't have a jaw. The mod allows to artificially impregnate people. I did so with my prisoner. Now I plan to have a colony of slave children. It will take a while though, because pregnancy lasts for 45 days. I will teach the children the ways of evilness and then force them to kill their own mother and butcher her and eat her. Yea, I'm so freaking evil!

I almost forgot
After cutting out her organs, giving peg legs and impregnating my guard went to recruit her. It was something along those lines: "(colonist) promised free, fresh eggplants and asked (prisoner) to join the colony"

Edit:

https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1447055199

lol just use Rimjobworld like the rest of us

[The Safe and Sterile Bread-Tan]

From an old colony I had awhile back. I like to play with this mod by WalkingProblem. Simply put, it allows wild animals to procreate.

As an unintended but beloved consequence. Nearly every time the boomrat population would grow out of control.

As the population of boomrats grew it attracted predators wishing to hunt in "prey" rich lands. Soon I had everything from foxes to polar bears to even eldritch monsters rovving the land for food. Unfortunetly none was to be found. As usual they refused to hunt boomrats which meant that at any moment, any wandering pawn outside of the base became a target.

Very quickly the base become a nocturnal one. Every pawn wandered out at night when predators will asleep. Unable to hunt boomrats or my pawns the predators simply hunted one another. And at night one of the colonists jobs was to gather the freshly killed predators for food.

Caravans coming in were subject to unspeakable horrors as their pack animals and themselves were beset by hungry predators. Raids were often non-issues as they were eaten by the local wildlife.

And then it happened. The uncontrolled boomrat population ate all the vegetation. They took to scavenging corpses, even canniblising on themselves to survive. But it simply wasn't enough. What soon became my colony's version of the 4th of July commenced. Boomrats begun to die, creating an amazing display of explosions. The ones not too weak from hunger would devour their starved brothers and sisters and then proceed to repopulate so that the process would start anew.



It was almost always raining on the map.

[Bodacious Boomerang]

Originally posted by TSense:

i love these, let me just get my story from the last one....


Hear the story of the badass formerly known as Muffalo 2:

>Start game with 2 people, brother and sister. Also lovers, because Rimworld does not judge.
>Start with NOTHING, naked in the woods.
>Know this game well, build small camp on mountain side.
>Herd of Muffalos show up -> perfect, muffalos are the master race.
>Try to tame them all. Hope for young females because they give milk and are more healthy.
>(Muffalos live up to 20 years, aka around 4 to 8 would be good)
>Frist one is a female at 10, good
>Then i get a male at the age of 18, already half blind. He is named Muffalo 2 because of course he is
>Great, gonna eat him this winter
>before i can tame the rest, lighting storm happens and the wild ones wander off
>lighting storm hits Muffalo 2 as he sleeps
>great gonna eat him then sooner
>he runs around for 8 hours until it rains
>mfw
>his head and left eye are burned badly
>he is as blind as before because the left one was ♥♥♥♥ anyway
>♥♥♥♥♥♥ keeps sleeping and eating grass outside like it was nothing, doesn't give a ♥♥♥♥
>2 years later i tame 6 more and was breeding
>Muffalo 2, he is 20 now, got problems with Alzheimer, but fathers 12
>need to push my animal skill, so i train all my Muffalos to follow and fight
>next raid i find out that this is the best idea ever
>eat your own muffalos without "killed pet" mood debuff
>muffalos are a ♥♥♥♥♥ to hunt because they can take so many hits
>let raiders get close, have 18 muffalos wait on the other side of the door
>works for 2 more raids.
>wife/sister is pregnant (yeah mods) and moves 60% slower
>surprise raid smashes into roof, right into the room she is in.
>can't take a bullet while fighting because baby, can't run
>she hides behind our Plasma TV while everyone else comes running with guns, but the raiders focus her
> ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ MUFFALO 2 RUNS IN LIKE USAIN BOLT ON LUCIFERUM
> JUMPS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER AND CATCHES BULLETS WITH SKULL LIKE IT IS NOTHING
>rest of the muffalos show up, defenders also made it around now
>giant mess of raiders and muffalos beating each other while my guys shoot in
>world war 2 in my eating room
>blood EVERYWHERE
>finish off last raiders, take one to harvest organs later
>muffalos that survived walk off, some bleed badly
>freezer is half empty anyway, let them walk themself there.
>look over the bodys, something is moving
>someone is kocked out, extrem bloodloss
>It's Muffalo 2
>0.16 hours left to life
>don't move him, patch him up without meds right there
>everytime he hits 0.01 or something my doc finishes a other wound and brings him some more time.
>for the next 12 hours he never gets above 0.5
>my main guy drops of some of his Luciferum, give it to him
>Muffalo 2 bonded with you. You named him "Sadness"
>like hell this badass will always be Muffalo 2 to me.
>full recovery

>I still see an old muffalo bull with a burn scar on his left eye in my dreams
>thank you Muffalo 2, you made me a better man
>someone draw fanart plz
>that's not water in my eyes

I really liked the lines : >lighting storm hits Muffalo 2 as he sleeps
>great gonna eat him then sooner