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So, I followed the instructions for running a clean boot of the system (disabling every service and startup application, basically, then restarting the computer), and I ran Assassin's Creed: Unity, from the Start menu this time (instead of from Steam, since it wasn't running yet). Steam started and wanted an update, then the Ubisoft Connect launcher ran and updated itself as well, and I had to log into my Ubisoft account (of course... what a pain), and... the game ran. It actually worked. Even the "Secrets of the Revolution" content seemed to work (at least, I had a new mission on the map, I'm assuming that's the content in question; I haven't actually tried the mission yet). (Oh, and it's worth noting: Steam didn't have its usual popups and notifications about a key I need to enter or anything like that, the ones I've been getting since installing the Secrets of the Revolution DLC. The game just ran without any problems.)
So, I tried re-enabling all those disabled services and startup applications and restarting the computer, and tried the game again. It still worked. I tried re-checking the "Secrets of the Revolution" DLC (and the "Uplay Activation" one for it) in the game's Steam properties and tried running the game again. and it still worked! I don't know what did it, maybe it was trying the clean boot, maybe it was those updates to Steam and/or the Ubisoft Connect launcher, but the game definitely seems to work again, and I haven't lost any progress. Whew! Not sure if this is helpful for anybody else--hopefully I'm the only person to have this problem--but there you go.