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Anyway this is a forum for Steam version, as you are not owning the Steam version you can be on a pirated version, go ask anyway in the ubi forums dedicated to the non-Steam version
Did both of you check your port and firewall ?
https://support.ubi.com/en-US/FAQ/9/4043/pc-assassins-creed-unity-connection-issues/kA030000000eigBCAQ
Follow only the setp 2, the other options are either bad or hazardous.
PS : Concidering this is normally automatic in windows but... maybe...
Are you too friend in uplay? in the same club?
Those 2 last part are very important.
Now I add every player i like from my club in uplay to be able to see where they are (in game, not here etc)
Plus when they send me an invitation to join in I see it Only in the chat discussion windows, not in AC unity.
So I wonder if I could see it if we weren't friends.
Then you have to be available (not in a mission)...
If it's still don't work I don't know.
Be sure you have a good connection too (no wifi, good ping etc etc) standar multi procedure.
Ps: Reading again your op message it seems like you did everything right...
Ok I added you just to make some test and see if I can help up figure out the problem.
It could come from your friend, but as you saw adding as a friend in Uplay help the process a lot
Try to check your NAT Type. If you use Windows 10, open Settings - Gaming - XBox Networking. Under XBox Live Multiplayer you'll see your NAT Type. If it say "Teredo is unable to qualify" click the link and follow the instruction to fix it. If it say Strict, you need to make it Moderate or Open, in my case reset/restarting my router works so far. If this not works for you, you can find how to open NAT on Youtube. And make sure the Server connectivity under Xbox Live Multiplayer say Connected.
So, if you want to playing with friend, just make sure both of you have Moderate or Open NAT type.
PS: Here some link to Ubisoft web how to open NAT by port forwarding:
https://www.ubisoft.com/en-ca/help/assassins-creed-unity/connectivity-and-performance/article/forwarding-ports-for-assassins-creed-unity/000078606