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The elephant in the room is your military strength. If the AI's score is about 3-5x your score, it will break any treaty at its whim, and send you snide/unflattering messages that are actually hilarious to read. You cannot be weaker and negotiate, or maintain, a peace. If you're equally strong, and you help an AI tag-team a 3rd, it may love you so much it offers you Alliance, and stays allied all game until you win together. If you're stronger and you're beating that AI in a short war, it will pay you 2-3 techs and a city for a truce. (If you're stronger and mean, you can milk all of the AI's techs for free, then next turn promptly break that truce and eliminate the AI.)
To negotiate on level terms, the general solution is to build up your own strength and plan to fight 1 ground war (and win it). Just follow your faction quest. I think every faction's quest has a point, around Chapter 4 or 5, where you must capture some other player's city, or similar. It's always another player's city. So you must fight (and declare) at least 1 war.
That's actually good prep and training; it gives you a concrete target to shoot for. Now you can revise your tech path, expansion, and build orders to produce 2 groups of 6+hero and have them arrive at the quest city in good time. That's a big part of the game, and it's worth learning.
Do that, and at least one AI (that one :) will respect you, and trade in your favor. Probably if you're stronger than one AI, you're at least equal to a few other AIs.
When I have that much of a military advantage, I feel like diplomacy becomes moot anyway. In my last game, I wanted to end the Tatur's market ban on me so I could pick up an extra hero. They were asking too much, they wanted resources and tech that took me at least 20 turns to build up, and that would just be to temporarily lift the Market Ban for about 10 turns or so. I figured I could probably capture their 3 cities in less than 10 turns, take all of their resources for myself, and end the Market Ban permanently. So that's what I did.
Also in my last game, I discovered an interesting point about the Faction Quest when it comes to destroying or capturing an enemy city. Apparently, my faction does not necessarily have to be the one that completes the task. When I got to that point in the quest, I had not even found the enemy city on my map yet. Not too many turns later, I still had not located the enemy city when that part of the quest just suddenly cleared. I assume an AI faction destroyed the city, though I have no way of knowing what actually happened.
It appears that certain diplomatic actions must be unlocked via technology. Do both factions need the particular techology for my faction to take particular diplomatic actions? Does it make sense to give/trade diplomacy technologies to everyone else?
In what sense does an action like Compliment make other diplomatic actions cheaper- are they cheaper just in Influence points, or in the resources/technology that the AI will demand as well? Do the effects of Compliments stack up, so that it makes sense to make multiple Compliments in one turn, or make a Compliment per turn?
Yes, you lose points with a neutral AI if you just harvest pearls 2 hexes outside their border. They claim those, even if they never move to take them. You get big + points with AI #1 for killing units of AI#2 if #1 is at war with #2.
Only one side needs a diplomacy tech to offer that status to any player. Yes, you can trade Peace Treaty to an AI, and it might thereafter use it to make peace with other AIs.
I dunno about stacking Compliments. I think nothing will actually change the trade values of goods. (Do an experiment: make the same trade offer to 2+ AIs, and see if they value things the same way.) I suspect that all AIs value all things roughly in proportion to how many turns it would take for them to produce/research/develop it. So if it has a surplus of something, it values more of yours low. One big tech, from an Era it hasn't reached yet, can be worth more to an AI than 5-8 of its own low techs.
I agree with your conclusion about Tatur's unreasonable demands: it's faster, easier, and way more fun, to declare war and wipe them off the map than it is to negotiate. (But I tend to think that about every diplomacy system in every 4X :) Yes, eliminating Roving Clans AI lifts its market ban.
When I play as my Draconians custom faction (Drakken which gain happiness per peace / alliance, among other traits), the first thing I do is gift other factions the diplomat's manse technology in exchange for peace. If you're trying to build a multi-empire alliance, giving that tech to your favored allies will be necessary if they don't already have it. Giving everyone access to the marketplace benefits the Roving Clans due to the 8% tax they receive on marketplace transactions.
Trading technologies seems really good at first, because you don't actually lose the technology, but if you give them too many techs you're actually boosting their level of technological advancement and can push them into higher eras, at which point they may turn around and consider you to be an inferior nation, equip better gear, and crush you militarily.
You're going to want to make sure that you're improving your relationship with them when you give them things. Giving small things which barely move the valuation gauge will not affect their opinion of you significantly. Howevever, certain highly-valued gifts or trades can move you from indifference past trustting into blood brotherhood, which takes quite a while to degrade. Proposals are evaluated based on their relative value for the recipient. Experiment with different proposals before comfirming to see what they may desire most at that time.
If you're banned from the marketplace, you either have to trade them something in exchange for its removal, wipe them out entirely, or get them to accept a truce on the condition that they remove the ban.
What can I do to make them happy? I can take an army to them and kick them around a while, but that seems to defeat the point of all the peaceful diplomacy.
If you're too weak, other factions might exploit it and declare war. If you're too strong, they might grow "envious" even if you're at peace. Picking pearls and settling near rival factions is a source of friction even if you're at peace with them. So keep that in mind and never trust your neighbor unless maybe you're allies.
1) If you have unlocked more advanced diplomatic techs, is there ever a reason to grab a lower-tech one?
2) I can't trade at all. Will any 1 diplomacy tech open that up, or is it a specific one?
3) I've been at war with an empire, destroying it mightily. It had not offered me a truce, and I can't offer it one. Is this due to a lack of diplomatic tech? Which tech would I need? If I have the tech, but they don't- will they be able to contact me for a truce?
Alliance is better than peace by some measures, but it's more costly to achieve and maintain, so there's that.
Hmmm. No. In that game I'm the Vaulters...
(???)
You cannot trade resource for resource unless you are in Peace or Alliance. In Cold War or War, you can only give or trade resources as part of a treaty.
I don't know why you wouldn't be able to ask for a truce, unless you are lacking Influence (I'm pretty sure even a Truce requires influence).