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How about a Standard map, but with only one other Civ? Your first goal is to figure out how to make a stable city grow.
Scouts are very important for this. My ideal first four units to build are Scout/Scout/Warrior/Slinger (or Warrior). You need scouts to discover new territory and resources, and goody huts.
Once you get your city to grow, you want to get the resources you can, through tech if need be, and ramp up production until you can build another Settler. Once you can do that, then your goal is to figure out how to make two stable cities grow. That's the simplest game loop to master.
Ancient-era wars will hurt you a lot unless you choose a Civ which specializes in Ancient-era warfare. Don't do that: it's too advanced for you right now. Just worry about building cities and making them grow. Don't attack city states: if you get a bad start, just start again.
Once you have your Civ running, you will need to build an army. Generally six or so units is what you need to attack another city, three to four to attack a barbarian camp. You don't need to build a large army, just enough to defend yourself and win fast skirmishes. if you don't build an army, the AI will stomp you. If you build too much, you'll throttle your economy.
One other thing Before other civs get masonry and start fortifying their cities 3 archers and a swordsmen are perfectly adequate to take a city before you attack the city kill the defending troops first. The ai rarely will leave and archer just sitting in the city to make your life difficult for more than a couple of turns and the minute he pokes his head out kill him if at all possible as it simplifies the process greatly. It generally takes about two to three turns to kill an undefended city with the force mentioned but evey one gets leveled up nicely and that becomes increasingly important as the game rolls on.
anyway huge thanx for everyones avice
You still haven't explained what you are struggling with.
do i need mods for this game, cheats or do you just need to be a fracking god...sorry but am just so frustrated with trying to play this game
cheers
1) Settle within first couple of turns. Look for tiles with high yields in first ring that are next to a river, lake, or coastline.
2) Build a couple of military units. Scouts, slingers, or warriors. Take your pick.
3) Research technologies that will improve the tiles within your empire. Build a builder after you can improve 3 tiles.
4) Scout your immediate land. Find areas with high tile yields close to your first city and is also next to a river, lake, or coastline. Also look for barbarian camps and clear them quickly.
5) If you find another player, see how close they are. If they are really close, build more military and switch to prioritizing technologies that give you stronger units. Remember, higher combat strength means you do more damage and take less.
6) Build a settler or two if there is a lot of land between you and another player. Settle areas using criteria above.
7) If not going to war, look for areas that will give you high adjacencies for your districts. Spend a few minutes reading the bonuses in the Civilopedia and planning your land out.
8) If going to war, prioritize building stronger units. If they require a strategic resource, look for areas with them and settle near them.
9) Continuing from #8, if enemy has walls in their cities, build a battering ram, link it to a melee or anti-cavalry unit, and move it adjacent to the enemy city. Build siege units if you don't have melee or anti-cavalry units. Don't just slam units into the enemy. If you need to heal, fortify for a few turns or pillage a farm. Rotate injured units out of the frontline. If you are losing more units than can make it to the enemy's territory, make peace.
9) Don't forget to keep settling more cities until you run out of land or neighbors to kill.
10) Don't forget about districts. Every city should have at least 1 or 2 of them.
11) Improve your land. Build a builder every 3 population. If city has poor food or production, build a trader.
12) Every city should have a monument and a granary. No exceptions.
One last thing if you aren't used to playing mapped based games once you turn it on and you've got your world up and running, go to the civilopedia in the upper right, I believe it is, and look over terrain and features, to familiarize yourself with what each offers you. Note their are different classes of resources and many of the strategic resources will not appear until after the appropriate tech is researched, which, by the way, is archaeologically bassackwards, but hey it is a game after all.
Once you get up to Deity difficulty, you'll also quickly realize that all those self-proclaimed experts on YouTube are, in fact, mediocre players who probably play 15 games for every one game they decide to play through beyond turn 50. (Or, if they're like the guy on this video, they're cheaters.) https://youtu.be/Kvuw55JKT2M
Those guys who claim they can "own" everyone on Deity? They're actually spending half their playtime getting obliterated by Civ's utterly-impossible-to-defeat 15 warrior rush on turn 50. (For fanboys, read this slowly: it is literally impossible to defeat 15 warriors on turn 50. Literally. Impossible.)
playing games is supposed to be fun!!
good luck