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Some civs in each game just aren't going to be your friend unless you really want to go out of your way to get on their good side. Personally I don't find it worth the effort; just play the game how you want to play but remember that you do have enemies who will exploit any weakness they think you have.
As for your military, you really don't need much unless you've fallen a good bit behind on tech; one or two melee units (mainly for screening your ranged), two to three ranged units providing fire from the rear and one or two bombard units if you want to go on the offensive. Toss in a couple of medics or apostles with the Chaplain promotion and you will crush almost anything the AI can throw at you.
1. You defended - Nothing wrong with that, however then you proceeded to attack his city, occupied it, and kept it even though it clearly show that if you did, you would be labeled a Warmongerer.Then you call "no fair"? :/
2. Yes it is a game, you lacked the strategy of actually reading the tooltip, in your mind of "He started it!" isn't a valid excuse. If you wanted the city there are casus belli for such a situation but you never even considered just defending, waiting for the peace offer and got it a legitimate way instead of Warmongering (even if: "He started it!") TB has acknowlaged the fact he isn't the best Civ-player they even talked about it in the Co-op Podcast with Quill18 (can't remember the nr, one of the latest), this isn't a sandbox game, it has clear Victory Conditions and rules, and you could have chosen another strategy, the slower but less-non warmongering way.
3. I don't think it's "Perfect", and I don't think that "Bouncer"-person think so either; it needs some TLC, and from what 2k has shown in previous installment Civ will get it, but I sure hope it's not these "fixes" you ask for because then there would be no reason to have the mechanic of CBs (casus belli) in the game at all.
To end: If you post on a forum and don't expect people to discuss your opinion (which in this case is in error; as shown above) then you might need to read up on what a forum is.
Then again you might get Ghandi in a game and then the CBs doesn't matter because well it's Ghandi! :)
Snow
For those saying making friends is impossible and/or too difficult. I had 5 allies and 1 friend in my last 16 player game (of the 15 that were still alive).
Getting denounced really doesn't change anything in Civ 6, it's not like civ 5 where it makes everyone else hate you as well. Most of the changes from a denouncement are positive. I denounced France in one game, america (who hated france) liked me more for it.
Making friends in the early game it very difficult, yes, but it is easier mid to late game. And for those who don't realize this, hidden agendas change each game. Sometimes china's hidden agenda might be "kil barbs" and the fact you built wonders will not matter.
It makes sense, but it unfolds terribly in the game.
It's really just bad writing, lack of dialogue, and lack of communication options.
For example, Pedro is unhappy with you for hundreds of years. Fine. Whatever.
Then, one day he says that he's going to tell the world of your transgressions and denounces you. Telling everyone about the evil deeds of India.
Verbally, that makes absolutely no sense. Because that's not what it's about.
Basically, he's been jealous of you for hundreds of years because you have more Great People than he does. He finally becomes enraged about it, tells everyone, and your relationship takes a -12 hit.
If they simply had more talking, and more dialogue options, it would make this scenario appear to make sense.
Otherwise, we're stuck with what we have. A bunch of denouncings, goodbyes, and one-clicks every few hundred years.
Example. Neighbor founds a city near my capital. Annoying. But not broken. It's not my territory, by definition, it is unoccupied land (at best, owned by indigenous savages). By the rules of the game that's just a land grab. Like European nations did all other the map for thousands of years.
Imagine, a nation landing troops on a new (for them) continent, building towns within trading distance of the indigenous people, and then being very upset when the local tell them to go home, and attack them if they don't. Said nation then brings in military power and oppresses the locals, in a just war because the locals are just savages.
It's not broken, it's exactly how civilizations spread across the world.
Re all the denouncing. Take a stand. If you try to please everyone, or noone (ignore everyone and do your own thing), you will annoy almost everyone. But if you spend some time in the diplomacy pages and build strong relationships early on, you get a much more balanced reaction from the other civs.
The modifiers seem to be dynamic not static, you don't instantly heal a broken relationship: you get a positive (the red and green scores) and then allow time to heal the relationship. But if you've ignored diplomacy then you've been upsetting everyone for 100+ turns and by the time you notice it's too late to repair.
Yeah really this whole denouncing system needs work I think.
That's perfectly accurate and I don't want it changed.
Retribution and vengeance don't change the fact that you invaded them. You may feel justified, but it's quite fair that they don't agree, and neither will other civs that like them, already dislike you, or like peace.
Not one of those wars i started. Succesfuly defending in a war is warmongering? Hmmm, after 6 games of civ one would expect they would have come up with a better diplomacy system, its still crap.
And to the guy who said he had several allies, you mustve let yourself get robbed to get "friends", its only way. The moment you go against their agenda you get denounced or war declared, and then the rest denounce you for warmongering even if you just mind your own business.
Agendas are all wrong, to big a hit, to little a boost, and most of agendas are impossible to befriend, what you really think im not gonna grab city states or build wonders or build no army wtf. Heck, you cant even avoid doing quests for city states, most of them get done anyhow and thats a guaranteed declaration of war with greece or germany.
Throughout history all kinds of countries have worked together with different governments.
Maybe they're going for a Bush/Blair kind of regime change theme.
Either way, it's just nonsense.