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I don't take the first society that presents itself. If I want a specific society, I look to fulfill the prerequisite to get it.
If I don't want constant war, I turn off the domination victory condition.
I build an army/navy early-doesn't have to be big, just enough to show the other civs you are not weak-and they will likely leave you alone, but, of course some may still declare war. Sending a delegation early helps to make friends. You will still have those that won't like you no matter what. (Norway always hates me for not having a navy, even if I'm landlocked, lol)
I just like to play to have fun and not let it stress me out. It is what it is.
Do I even need to mention half your rant has nothing to do with Secret Societies mode and sounds completely nuts?
Sadly but thats exactly how the real world works. If there were some periods of peace on this earth they were due some treaties/outcomes made by the previous wars winners. As long as one of the powers becomes unsatisfied with its current state you can expect another war to happen. Of course it doesnt mean that it has to be a violent war like WWII for instance... but it could be an economy one like the current one between US and China instead. Small countries will always be a puppet states to some other great power and fell under its interetst, etc. So in this regard civ 6 walks in the right direction imho
Play with less Civs on the map