Asterix is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ..........

[!RJ_Truth]

....MASTER!!!!

*bows down to the master*

I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy.

[Zest]

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_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅м̅a̅я̅i̅j̅u̅a̅n̅a̅_̅_̅_̅ () ด้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้็็็็็

[Asterix]

(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง



ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ



(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴏᴅs (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง ʏᴇᴀʜ sᴘᴀᴍ ɪᴛ! (ง •̀_•́)ง



▬▬ι═══════ﺤ As I ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴜʀᴀɪ sᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ᴀs I ᴡᴀs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛ sᴜᴅᴏᴋᴜ, I ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴘʟᴀʏ Cᴀsᴜᴀʟsᴛᴏɴᴇ... I ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ Kʀɪᴘ ᴡᴀs Nᴏʟɪғᴇ... ɴᴏᴡ I ᴀᴍ Nᴏʟɪғᴇ...ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙʏᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ



)/ appears as: )/ // appears as: //



(╭ರ_•́)\ Mr. Fors we politely ask for the program 'Plug-Dj" to be used in this live broadcast for alas we will stir up a ruckus (╭ರ_•́)



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(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ ɴᴀᴍᴇ's ᴅᴏɴɢ. ᴊᴀᴍᴇs ᴅᴏɴɢ (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄



(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง



༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽



༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ YOU PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽



༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽



༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽You either die a DONG, or live long enough to become the DONGER༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽



༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ YOU ARRIVED IN THE INCORRECT DONGERHOOD, SIR༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽



( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ clickty clack clickty clack with this chant I summon spam to the chat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ



ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ. ʜᴀʀᴅᴇʀ, ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ, ғᴀsᴛᴇʀ, ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ .ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ



ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ I'M LOL FAN AND I HAVE DOWN SYNDROME ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ



(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง



(ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง LET ME DEMONSTRATE DONGER DIPLOMACY (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง



(\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /) OUR DONGERS ARE RAZOR SHARP (\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /)



ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ RO RO RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ



̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^ Stop right there criminal scum! no one RIOTs on my watch. I'm confiscating your goods. now pay your fine, or it's off to jail.



̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING CASUAL. COME OUT WITH YOUR DONGERS RAISED ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽



(ง'̀-'́)ง ＤＯＮＧ ＯＲ ＤＩＥ (ง'̀-'́)ง



ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ



ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ VOICE OF AN ANGEL ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ



ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ LETS GET DONGERATED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ



ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR BARNO ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ



ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ "I have a dong" ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ - Martin Luther King Jr.



ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ OJ poured and candle lit, with this chant i summon Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ



☑ OJ poured ☑ Candle lit ☑ Summoning the Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ



ヽ༼ຈل͜O༽ﾉ ʀᴀɪs ᴜʀ ᴅᴀɢᴇʀᴏ ヽ༼ຈل͜___ຈ༽ﾉ



(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)งSuccubus release Kripp or taste our rage(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง



ノ(ಠ_ಠノ ) ʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)



ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ HOIST THY DONGERS ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ



ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ Kripp you are kinda like my dad, except you're always there for me. ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ



█▄༼ຈل͜ຈ༽▄█ yeah i work out



༼ ºل͟º ༽ I AM A DONG ༼ ºل͟º ༽



༼ ºل͟º༽ I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE DONGLIFE, THE DONGLIFE CHOSE ME ༼ ºل͟º༽



༼ ºل͟º༽ NO ONE CARED WHO I WAS UNTIL I PUT ON THE DONG ༼ ºل͟º༽



༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽ I AM SUPER DONG ༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽



┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐ SUCK MY DONGER ┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐



ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ FINALLY A REAL DONG ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ



<ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀᴇᴅ>



ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉIS THAT A DONGER IN YOUR POCKET?ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ



༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽ OPPA DONGER STYLE ༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽



( ° ͜ ʖ °) REGI OP ( ° ͜ ʖ °)



(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ IM DONG,JAMES DONG (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄



(ง⌐□ل͜□)ง WOULD YOU HIT A DONGER WITH GLASSES (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง



ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ CUDDLE UR DONGERS ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ



ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) let me hold your donger for a while ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)



ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง MY RIGHT DONG IS ALOT STRONGER THAN MY LEFT ONE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง



(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ May the DONG be with you! ☚(ﾟヮﾟ☚)



(⌐■_■)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Keep Your Dongers Where i Can See Them



̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ DUDE̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ PLEASE NO COPY PASTERONI MACORONI DONGERIN



( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°) Mom always said my donger was big for my age ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)



(/ﾟДﾟ)/ WE WANT SPELUNKY (/ﾟДﾟ)/



─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ sᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴅᴏɴɢ



(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ POINT ME TO THE DONGERS (✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞



ᕙ( ^ₒ^ c) 〇〇〇〇ᗩᗩᗩᗩᕼᕼ ᕙ( ^ₒ^ c)



ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ArcheAge or BEES ヽ̛͟͢༼͝ຈ͢͠لຈ҉̛༽̨҉҉ﾉ̨



୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ MRGLRLRLR ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨



ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉITS A HARD DONG LIFE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ



ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉMOLLYヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ



༼ つ ຈل͜ຈ ༽つ GIVE MOLLY ༼ つ ຈل͜ຈ ༽つ



†ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ† By the power of donger I summon MOLLY †ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ†



ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉTAKING A DUMPヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ



ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ WHAT DOESNT KILL ME ONLY MAKES ME DONGER ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ



ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ FOREVER DONG ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ



[̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] Mo' money, mo' Dongers [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]



༼ᕗຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ Drop Bows on 'em ༼ᕗຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ



Ѱζ༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽ᶘѰ HIT IT WITH THE FORK Ѱζ༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽ᶘѰ



Ψ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽Ψ hit it with the fork Ψ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽Ψ



(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ. * ・ ｡ﾟ Copypastus Totalus!!

[Asterix]

Hello guys, I'm back from my 600 seconds timeout. During that time I was able to finish my 200 words essay on the topic of ♥♥♥♥ Germany. My thesis is that Hitler & ♥♥♥♥ beliefs are carried on by twitch tv ♥♥♥♥ moderators who like to act as if they themselves were literally Hitler. I think I should score at least 90 out of 100 points for that paper.

[Asterix]

Tᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴅᴇᴠᴀsᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. ᴛᴏ ᴜɴɪᴛᴇ ᴀʟʟ sᴘᴀᴍᴍᴇʀs ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇɴᴏᴜɴᴄᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴠɪʟ ᴏғ Tʀᴜᴍᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴏᴅs. ᴛᴏ ᴇxᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ sᴘᴀᴍ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴀʀs ᴀʙᴏᴠᴇ. ᴄᴏᴘʏ! ᴘᴀsᴛᴇ! ᴄʜᴀᴛ sᴘᴀᴍ ʙʟᴀsᴛ ᴏғғ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴘᴇᴇᴅ ᴏғ ʟɪɢʜᴛ! sᴜʀʀᴇɴᴅᴇʀ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴏʀ ᴘʀᴇᴘᴀʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ғɪɢʜᴛ.

[Asterix]

Hᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Zᴇᴜs, Gᴏᴅ ᴏғ Oʟʏᴍᴘᴜs. I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ɪɴғᴏʀᴍᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴍʏ sᴇʀᴠᴀɴᴛs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴅɪsɢʀᴀᴄɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ʜᴏʟʏ ʟᴀɴᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟɴᴇss. Yᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ two ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴅᴀʏs ᴛᴏ sᴜᴍᴍᴏɴ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ ʀᴏᴏᴛs ᴏʀ ᴇʟsᴇ I'ᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴀɴɴɪʜɪʟᴀᴛᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴀɴᴀᴅɪᴀɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ +25% ᴅᴍɢ ᴛᴏ ʟɪɢʜᴛɴɪɴɢ sᴋɪʟʟ

[Zest]

ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้

(̅(̅_̅_̅_̅м̲̅a̲̅я̲̅l̲̅b̲̅o̲̅r̲̅o̲̅̅_̅_̅̅(ด้้้้้็็็ ็็้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้้้้็็็็็้้ ้้้็็็็็้้้้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้็็็็็

(_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅м̅a̅я̅i̅j̅u̅a̅n̅a̅_̅_̅_̅ () ด้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้้้้็็็็็้้้้้็็็็็

Ỏ̷͖͈̞̩͎̻̫̫̜͉̠̫͕̭̭̫̫̹̗̹͈̼̠̖͍͚̥͈̮̼͕̠̤̯̻̥̬̗̼̳̤̳̬̪̹͚̞̼̠͕̼̠̦͚̫͔̯̹͉͉̘͎͕̼̣̝͙̱̟̹̩̟̳̦̭͉̮̖̭̣̣̞̙̗̜̺̭̻̥͚͙̝̦̲̱͉͖͉̰̦͎̫̣̼͎͍̠̮͓̹̹͉̤̰̗̙͕͇͔̱͕̭͈̳̗̭͔̘̖̺̮̜̠͖̘͓̳͕̟̠̱̫̤͓͔̘̰̲͙͍͇̙͎̣̼̗̖͙̯͉̠̟͈͍͕̪͓̝̩̦̖̹̼̠̘̮͚̟͉̺̜͍͓̯̳̱̻͕̣̳͉̻̭̭̱͍̪̩̭̺͕̺̼̥̪͖̦̟͎̻̰_Ỏ̷͖͈̞̩͎̻̫̫̜͉̠̫͕̭̭̫̫̹̗̹͈̼̠̖͍͚̥͈̮̼͕̠̤̯̻̥̬̗̼̳̤̳̬̪̹͚̞̼̠͕̼̠̦͚̫͔̯̹͉͉̘͎͕̼̣̝͙̱̟̹̩̟̳̦̭͉̮̖̭̣̣̞̙̗̜̺̭̻̥͚͙̝̦̲̱͉͖͉̰̦͎̫̣̼͎͍̠̮͓̹̹͉̤̰̗̙͕͇͔̱͕̭͈̳̗̭͔̘̖̺̮̜̠͖̘͓̳͕̟̠̱̫̤͓͔̘̰̲͙͍͇̙͎̣̼̗̖͙̯͉̠̟͈͍͕̪͓̝̩̦̖̹̼̠̘̮͚̟͉̺̜͍͓̯̳̱̻͕̣̳͉̻̭̭̱͍̪̩̭̺͕̺̼̥̪͖̦̟͎̻̰

ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็(ಠ益ಠส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็

ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็_(ツ)_ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้

ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ ก้้้้้้้้้้้

Ỏ̷͖͈̞̩͎̻̫̫̜͉̠̫͕̭̭̫̫̹̗̹͈̼̠̖͍͚̥͈̮̼͕̠̤̯̻̥̬̗̼̳̤̳̬̪̹͚̞̼ ̠͕̼̠̦͚̫͔̯̹͉͉̘͎͕̼̣̝͙̱̟̹̩̟̳̦̭͉̮̖̭̣̣̞̙̗̜̺̭̻̥͚͙̝̦̲̱͉͖͉ ̰̦͎̫̣̼͎͍̠̮͓̹̹͉̤̰̗̙͕͇͔̱͕̭͈̳̗̭͔̘̖̺̮̜̠͖̘͓̳͕̟̠̱̫̤͓͔̘̰̲ ͙͍͇̙͎̣̼̗̖͙̯͉̠̟͈͍͕̪͓̝̩̦̖̹̼̠̘̮͚̟͉̺̜͍͓̯̳̱̻͕̣̳͉̻̭̭̱͍̪̩ ̭̺͕̺̼̥̪͖̦̟͎̻̰̞̖̠̣̦̰̙͕ _Ỏ̷͖͈̞̩͎̻̫̫̜͉̠̫͕̭̭̫̫̹̗̹͈̼̠̖͍͚̥͈̮̼͕̠̤̯̻̥̬̗̼̳̤̳̬̪̹͚̞ ̼̠͕̼̠̦͚̫͔̯̹͉͉̘͎͕̼̣̝͙̱̟̹̩̟̳̦̭͉̮̖̭̣̣̞̙̗̜̺̭̻̥͚͙̝̦̲̱͉͖ ͉̰̦͎̫̣̼͎͍̠̮͓̹̹͉̤̰̗̙͕͇͔̱͕̭͈̳̗̭͔̘̖̺̮̜̠͖̘͓̳͕̟̠̱̫̤͓͔̘̰ ̲͙͍͇̙͎̣̼̗̖͙̯͉̠̟͈͍͕̪͓̝̩̦̖̹̼̠̘̮͚̟͉̺̜͍͓̯̳̱̻͕̣̳͉̻̭̭̱͍̪ ̩̭̺͕̺̼̥̪͖̦̟͎̻̰̞̖̠̣


ヽヽ༼༼ຈຈل͜ل͜ຈຈ༽༽ﾉﾉ TURN OFF THE VIBRATOR ヽヽ༼༼ຈຈل͜ل͜ຈຈ༽༽ﾉﾉ

▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼Sorry, I’ve dropped my bag of Doritos™ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼

UPLOADING VIRUS.EXE ████████████████] 99%

[Asterix]

ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀʏᴏʀ ᴏғ ᴄᴀɴᴀᴅᴀʟᴀɴᴅ. ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ᴍʏ sᴏɴ, ᴇᴠᴇʀ sɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇғᴛ ᴜs ᴏᴜʀ sᴀʟᴛ ᴍɪɴᴇs ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ʀᴜɴɴɪɴɢ ᴅʀʏ. ɴᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ɪs ᴘʀᴏᴠɪᴅɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ᴘᴏᴏʀ ʜᴀʀᴅ-ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴀʙʟᴇ sᴀʟᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴅᴀɪʟʏ ᴍᴇᴀʟs. ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ

[Asterix]

When a girl gets a vibrator it's seen as a bit of naughty fun. But when Kripparian orders a 240v ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Pro 5000 blow up latex doll with 6 speed pulsating ***, elasticised anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system...he's called a pervert!

[Asterix]

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.



Hey Hosty, I've got some bad news." says Amaz to Hosty. "But I wasn't ghosting I swear!" he replies, sweating heavily. "It's alright, I won't fire you, as long as you do something for me." Hosty knows what Amaz wants. He bends over and lets Amaz have his way. Afterwards, as he cries on the bed, Amaz whispers in his ear, "I lied. You're fired.



Months have passed. Hosty has lost everything. "I wish I never ghosted" says a heavily drunk Hosty as he notices a dark figure behind him."I can give you your life back as long as you do something for me" says Amaz. Hosty knowing what Amaz wants bends over and lets him have his way. Afterwards as he cries on bed, Amaz whispers in his ear "I lied. Again""//



☑ “This guy's deck is CRAZY!” ☑ “My deck can't win against a deck like that” ☑ "He NEEDED precisely those two cards to win" ☑ “He topdecked the only card that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect cards" ☑ “There was nothing I could do” ☑ “I played that perfectly”



☑ “This gentleman's deck is ABSURD!” ☑ “My deck cannot hope to prevail against a deck of that caliber” ☑ "He REQUIRED those two cards in subsequent order to succeed" ☑ “He extracted from his deck the only cards capable of defeating me” ☑ "His cards defied logic" ☑ “There was no manoeuvre at my disposal to secure victory” ☑ “I played impeccably”



“This guy's salt is CRAZY!” ☑ “My potassium nitrate can't win against a sodium chloride like that” ☑ "He NEEDED precisely those two elements to win" ☑ “He SPRINKLED the only salt that could beat me” ☑ "He had the PERFECT shaker" ☑ “There was nothing I could do” ☑ “I mined that perfectly"



What the ♥♥♥♥ did you just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ say about me, you little ♥♥♥♥♥? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the ♥♥♥♥ out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ words. You think you can get away with saying that ♥♥♥♥ to me over the Internet? Think again, ♥♥♥♥♥♥. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little ♥♥♥♥. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ idiot. I will ♥♥♥♥ fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dead, kiddo.



What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll ♥♥♥♥ fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now, lad.



What filth dared pass your unworthy lips, pitiful urchin? I will declare, am the heir of the Elders, I have led our people out of tragedy single-handed, and I have destroyed over 300 white demons. I am learned in the arts of the earth and sky, and none are more connected to the Great Spirit than I! You are but nothing to me, prey. I will have your head hollowed for a gourde, my word is sacred! Do you think your magic will allow you to continue to disrespect me like this? Think again, dog! Even as you stand, my brothers from across the land are circling your home and your sacred place is being hunted right now, so prepare for the onslaught, rat. The onslaught that will decimate your very way of life from your people's history. You are a breathing ghost, child. I can move as I please, night or day, and I can steal your breath in over seven hundred ways, without so much as a knife. Not only am I a warrior-king's son, but I have the loyalty of my entire tribe and I will rather laugh than hesitate at wiping your hide out of this world, little dog. If only you had known what torrents your gibberish would bring upon, you would have kept silent. But you could not, you did not, and now the price will be yours to pay, backwards fool. I will spread fury like droppings until it consumes you, and you drown in its depths. You are a memory, boy.



You think this takes concentration? Try healing in World of Warcraft after someone in the group just feared the entire room and the stupid death knight has stolen all the aggro from the tank, all whilst trying to reach deep into the bag for the extra cheesy dorritos. Now THAT is a skill. This is just a bunch of tap dancing in tight clothes with a room full of genelemen looking intently at you.. uhh no thanks. Ill take the fame of being the #1 ranked healer in all of Azeroth.



H ＥＬＬＯ ＡＭ ４８ ＹＥＡＲ ＭＡＮ ＦＲＯＭ ＳＯＭＡＬＩＡ． ＳＯＲＲＹ ＦＯＲ ＢＡＤ ＥＮＧＬＡＮＤ． Ｉ ＳＥＬＬＥＤ ＭＹ ＷＩＦＥ ＦＯＲ ＩＮＴＥＲＮＥＴ ＣＯＮＮＥＣＴＩＯＮ ＦＯＲ ＰＬＡＹ ＂ｈｅａｒｔｈ ｓｔｏｎｅ＂ ＡＮＤ Ｉ ＷＡＮＴ ＴＯ ＢＥＣＯＭＥ ＴＨＥ ＧＯＯＤＥＳＴ ＰＬＡＹＥＲ ＬＩＫＥ ＹO U



Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cre8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8



So today i was in the supermarket going to buy some cheese for the next week before the stores close, got 8 packages of finest Dutch. When i was waiting in line to pay for it a gentleman in front of me collapsed, his wife looked at us and said "He has Hypoglycemia, someone please bring something that contains sugar!!". I immediately ran to the sweets section, after only 1 minute of choosing since i was in a hurry, i went with ice-cream snickers bar and ran back to the register, with my trembling hands i got rid of the plastic cover, i leaned to the old gentleman, when he turned to me: "I know you..." he said "you are that guy from Twitch... Keep it, you need it more with all that salt..."



▬▬ι═══════ﺤ As I ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴜʀᴀɪ sᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ᴀs I ᴡᴀs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛ sᴜᴅᴏᴋᴜ, I ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴘʟᴀʏ Cᴀsᴜᴀʟsᴛᴏɴᴇ... I ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ Kʀɪᴘ ᴡᴀs Nᴏʟɪғᴇ... ɴᴏᴡ I ᴀᴍ Nᴏʟɪғᴇ...ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙʏᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ



Guys can you please not spam the chat.? My mom bought me this new laptop and it gets really hot when the chat is being spammed. Now my leg is starting to hurt because it is getting so hot. Please, if you don't want me to get burned, then dont spam the chat



@1fow1 Dear 1FOW1 I hate you not only that but you are annoying but last your contant is super lame. you are just tricking peope with your peppy fake smile. you are some azazel inn my eyes. makeing peopel think thst some charecters in this game are good i don't play sm4sh as much because of stupid peopele like you.thinking that all charecters have potentail and diddy is the best. no, people need to relize good tactics unllke yours. To be Frank with you i will never watch your idiotic streams evr again.

[Asterix]

Maybe his long Journey away from the evil drug that is Hearthstone has brought moral clarity to his life. Kripp rises up and breaks away from the shackles the succubus has locked Kripp in. Papaparrian holds the key and sets Kripp's mind free. He swears to never go back to Greece or play Hearthstone ever again. Kripp moves back in with Papa and finally gets his OJ sponsorship. The beautifully creamy wall is vibrant as Kripp uploads his newest video in the old wonderland. "Hey guys how's it going, Kripparian here." Kripp starts up PoE again in anticipation of the new expansion being released, theory crafting builds. He is happy and filled with life each day of streaming. All is then right with the world.



You think this takes concentration? Try healing in World of Warcraft after someone in the group just feared the entire room and the stupid death knight has stolen all the aggro from the tank, all whilst trying to reach deep into the bag for the extra cheesy dorritos. Now THAT is a skill. This is just a bunch of tap dancing in tight clothes with a room full of genelemen looking intently at you.. uhh no thanks. Ill take the fame of being the #1 ranked healer in all of Azeroth.



I was in line at the supermarket when a guy in front of me collapsed, his wife shouted "He has Hypoglycemia, bring something with sugar!". I ran to the sweets section, grabbed some snickers and gave them to him, and he said: "I know you, you are that guy from Twitch. Keep it, you need it more with all that salt"



I am a muricunt born in america, the land of the fat and the free. I am proud of my awful education, horrible medical care, terrible society and religious gunwielding fanatics. With my natural 260 lbs, please stop talking trash about my mediocre country which is a collection of all the human scum EU and Asia dumped a few hundred years ago.



( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Every 60 seconds in Brazil, Germany scores a goal. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)



☐ Not REKT ☑ REKT ☑ REKTangle ☑ SHREKT ☑ REKT-it Ralph ☑ Total REKTall ☑ The Lord of the REKT ☑ The Usual SusREKTs ☑ North by NorthREKT ☑ REKT to the Future ☑ Once Upon a Time in the REKT ☑ The Good, the Bad, and the REKT ☑ LawREKT of Arabia ☑ Tyrannosaurus REKT ☑ eREKTile dysfunction



Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.



I owe my life to Deficio. I got in a horrible car crash and I was in a coma for 6 months. One day my nurse walked in and change the twitch channel to the EU LCS and I heard Deficio casting. I awoke from my coma, got up and turned that sh!t off.



The stream starts, and so my spam begins. It shall not end until i am banned. I shall fear no mod, sub to no streamer. I shall live and die in the Chat. For i am the value in the bomber. I am the BM in the lethal. I am the salt in the defeat. I pledge my keyboard to the Chat, for this stream and all the streams to come



What the ♥♥♥♥ did you just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ say about me, you little ♥♥♥♥♥? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the ♥♥♥♥ out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ words. You think you can get away with saying that ♥♥♥♥ to me over the Internet? Think again, ♥♥♥♥♥♥. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little ♥♥♥♥. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ idiot. I will ♥♥♥♥ fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dead, kiddo.



° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸ 　★　 :.　 . • ○ ° ★　 .　 　.　.　　¸ .　　 ° 　¸. * ● ¸ .　...somewhere　　　° ☾ ° 　¸. ● ¸ .　　★　° :.　 . • ° 　 .　 *　:.　.in a parallel universe ● ¸ 　　　　° ☾ °☆ 　. * ¸.　　　★　★ ° . .　　　　.　☾ °☆ 　. * ● Kripparrian isn't a casual...° ☾　★ °● ¸ .　　　★　° :.　 . • ○ ° ★



Hey Kripp, Asian Dude from Heartharena here. We've noticed you've been away from our website for a long time. Is it the Classic Aggro? We've adjusted our tier list to your more Classic Greed style. Please come back. Best regards, Classic Asian Dude from Heartharena



forgive english, i am Russia.i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss.



↓ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵍᵘʸ↓ ↑ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗᵒᵒ ↑



I'm currently on summer break from uni, and I don't have a job ( Hard to get when you have a criminal record, don't ask). So instead, I've been playing about 6-12 hours of CSGO a day. This week is like my 5th week of doing this. Now, I'm sure all of us here don't think that this is detrimental to your health, but last night I had a dream I was in game in CSGO. I dont remember what it was about exactly, but I woke up in a frenzy and i shouted IM CT NOT T. I assume I was stuck on T forever on Nuke. I also was playing hide and seek with my baby brother, only to find that I was jiggle peeking corners in real life. I have this crosshair burned into my vision that Im constantly lining up at headshot level. My friends wanted to go out and get pissed today on straya day, however I informed them that I have to get my smurf out of nova 1. The question is, have I taken it too far? I do not know. Have I been playing too much csgo?



Ｈｅｌｌｏ Ｋｒｉｐｐ， Ｍｏｔｏｒｂｉｋｅ Ｇｕｙ ｈｅｒｅ． Ｊｕｓｔ ｗａｎｔｅｄ ｔｏ ｓａｙ： ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭ



ᴴᵉᶫᶫᵒ, ᶦᵗ ᶦˢ ᵐᵉ ᴰᵒᶰᵍᵉʳᶦᶰᵒ ᴹᵃᶜᵃʳᵒᶰᶦ, ᴾʳᵉˢᶦᵈᵉᶰᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵒᵖʸ ᴾᵃˢᵗᵃ ᴵᶰᵈᵘˢᵗʳᶦᵉˢ⋅ ᵂᵉ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ʳᵉᶜᵉᶦᵛᵉᵈ ᵐᵃᶰʸ ᶜᵒᵐᵖᶫᵃᶦᶰᵗˢ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ʸᵒᵘʳ ˢᵗʳᵉᵃᵐ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶫᵃᶜᵏ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵒᵖʸ ᵖᵃˢᵗᵃ ᵖʳᵒᵈᵘᶜᵗˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶜʰᵃᵗ ᶦˢ ᵘˢᶦᶰᵍ⋅ ᴬˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ˢᵖᵒᶰˢᵒʳ, ʷᵉ ˢᵘᵍᵍᵉˢᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵘᵖᵖᶫʸ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶜʰᵃᵗ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵐᵒʳᵉ 's ᵒʳ ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽'s ᵗᵒ ᵏᵉᵉᵖ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶜʰᵃᵗ ᵘᵖ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵒᵐᵖᵃᶰʸ ˢᵗᵃᶰᵈᵃʳᵈˢ⋅ ᵀʰᵃᶰᵏ ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵒʳ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ⋅



Me and a clay man I made are in love. Greek clay is named after "plastelini" so I call my new boyfriend plastelino. I baked him so his clay penis will always be hard. I know he understands me because when I tell him my problems he sits fearless, calm and silent and listens to me. Then we ♥♥♥♥. I am happy at last I found true love. Please dont copy plastelino.



I like to raise my Donger I do it all the time ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ and every time its lowered┌༼ຈل͜ຈ༽┐ I cry and start to whine ┌༼@ل͜@༽┐But never need to worry ༼ ºل͟º༽ my Donger's staying strong ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉA Donger saved is a Donger earned so sing the Donger song! ᕦ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕤ

[trust nobody]

~ R.i.P Mobb Deep ~

[Zest]

hands 🖐🤚 up ni🅱️🅱️a 🔫😎 this is 👉 the F🅱️I and ur under arrest 👊 for not succing 💦😫 enough 😜 ♥♥♥♥ 😂 so get on ur knees 😳 because this 😵 ♥♥♥♥ aint gonna 😙 succ itself 😌

[Asterix]

22:31 - Asterix: keep them coming
22:31 - Zest: no brakes
22:31 - Asterix: correct

[Zest]

Don't👏 pretend👏 to 👏be 👏entitled👏 to👏 financial👏 compensation👏 if 👏you 👏or👏 a👏 loved 👏one 👏hasn't👏 even 👏been 👏diagnosed👏 with 👏mesothelioma

[Zest]

I'm Harambe, and this is my zoo enclosure. I work here with my zoo keeper and my friend, cecil the lion. Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned after 21 years - you never know WHO is gonna come over that fence.