Local Man Arrested for Grand Theft Auto After Claiming Rockstar “Forced Him Into It”

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In a bizarre twist of events, 37-year-old Mosh Jondie was apprehended late Thursday night in his hometown after allegedly stealing a 2023 Dodge Charger from a downtown parking lot. When questioned by authorities, Jondie gave an unusual explanation: Rockstar Games had made it “impossible” for him to commit virtual crimes, leaving him no choice but to live out his criminal urges in real life.

Jondie, a self-proclaimed gaming enthusiast and die-hard Grand Theft Auto V fan, was reportedly devastated when Rockstar Games’ latest updates caused compatibility issues for Linux users. Unable to access his favorite digital playground, Jondie claimed his frustrations built up over weeks until he finally snapped.

“I couldn’t carjack, run heists, or evade the cops in Los Santos anymore,” Jondie told reporters from his holding cell. “Rockstar broke the game on Linux, so I had to take matters into my own hands. What was I supposed to do? Not steal cars?”

Witnesses reported seeing Jondie suspiciously loitering around the parking lot, wearing what one described as “a poor attempt at Michael De Santa cosplay,” complete with a cheap blazer and loafers. After breaking into the car using what police later identified as a crowbar and duct tape, he reportedly drove erratically through town while blasting GTA V’s soundtrack over the car stereo.

Police eventually caught up to Jondie after a low-speed chase, during which he made repeated sharp turns “for no apparent reason,” presumably trying to emulate video game physics.

Upon his arrest, Jondie allegedly told officers, “This wouldn’t have happened if Rockstar supported Linux properly. They’ve driven me to this!” Authorities say they found a printed-out letter addressed to Rockstar Games in the stolen car, demanding the reinstatement of full Linux compatibility for GTA V.

Local gamers have had mixed reactions to the incident. While some condemned Jondie’s actions, others showed a surprising amount of sympathy. “We get it,” said Reddit user LinuxGamer247 in a popular thread. “Losing GTA V on Linux is basically like having your whole criminal empire taken away overnight. But, you know, maybe don’t actually steal cars.”

Rockstar Games has yet to comment on the situation, though insiders speculate this could lead to increased calls for better Linux support—or at least inspire a future GTA VI side quest. Meanwhile, Jondie is facing charges of grand theft auto, reckless driving, and resisting arrest, with his first court appearance scheduled for next week.

Jondie’s lawyer has hinted at a unique defense strategy: “We’re considering an argument of video game withdrawal syndrome. It’s uncharted legal territory, but so was running GTA V on Linux.”

[BORG]

Damn, what a story! When you find out the exact court date, let us know when it is. That court case is gonna be lit!

[~~Andrew~~]

and I ( he ) took that personally 🤣🤣🤣

[macatak]

link to article ?

[BORG]

Originally posted by macatak:

link to article ?

r/whoosh

[Lefty[AGHL]]

Twinkie Defense

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a quick update I pulled from today's paper...

Mosh Jondie Released on Bail, Vows to “Mod Real Life”

In a bizarre continuation of the Mosh Jondie saga, the disgruntled gamer turned car thief was released on bail late Friday afternoon. Emerging from the county jail, Jondie addressed a small group of reporters, claiming that his actions were “a form of protest” and promising to continue his fight for better Linux gaming support.

“I’ve been misunderstood,” Jondie said, clutching a USB stick he described as “essential software for justice.” He announced plans to “mod real life” in a way that would “make everyone see what Rockstar and big corporations are doing to us.”

Sources close to Jondie say he has been experimenting with hacking smart vehicles and claims he can “spawn” a Tesla with a few keystrokes. Authorities are reportedly monitoring his online activity closely, though Jondie’s attorney insists he’s “just joking.”

Meanwhile, the gaming community remains divided. A Change.org petition titled “Fix GTA V for Linux, Free Mosh Jondie” has garnered over 25,000 signatures, while others have distanced themselves from his actions.

Rockstar Games declined to comment, though insiders suggest the company is considering adding a tongue-in-cheek Easter egg referencing the incident in their next update.

Jondie’s court date is set for next month, but his lawyer hinted that Mosh plans to represent himself, armed with a PowerPoint presentation titled “Gaming Oppression and the Decline of Society.”

[BORG]

25,000 petitions already in only a day? Dang! I wonder what will be on the PowerPoint presentation. Seems like Jodie's got a surefire plan to win his case, but defending himself doesn't seem like a good idea. Maybe he'll be able to convince the jury and outfox the judge. What a wild case. I'm rooting for Mosh Jondie! Stick it to the man, Mosh! It's about time someone stood up to those dubious companies. Keep us posted on the case as it evolves!

[Levianne]

If the whole case is true, it's a sad picture of our society. The guy is clearly mentally ill, if he's so desperate to commit crimes IRL because he can't do that in-game anymore. So what? Someone's computer fails while playing Hitman and that person starts murdering people IRL and there would be a petition for releasing such people?

[BORG]

Originally posted by Levianne:

If the whole case is true, it's a sad picture of our society. The guy is clearly mentally ill, if he's so desperate to commit crimes IRL because he can't do that in-game anymore. So what? Someone's computer fails while playing Hitman and that person starts murdering people IRL and there would be a petition for releasing such people?

r/whoosh

#AbsolveMoshJondie

[SqueakyTweaky]

43%
of text is likely AI-generated

[BORG]

Originally posted by SqueakyTweaky:

43%
of text is likely AI-generated

You underestimate user generated story telling.

[Man o' War]

As any good lawyer will tell you -

Tell The Truth

The Whole Truth

And Nothing Like The Truth.

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Mosh Jondie Accused of Cyberstalking Critics Following Infamous Car Theft Case

The bizarre saga of Mosh Jondie has taken another troubling turn, as the disgraced gamer-turned-criminal now faces allegations of cyberstalking individuals who criticized him online.

According to reports, several members of online gaming forums and social media platforms have claimed that Jondie has been targeting them with harassing messages, emails, and even attempts to hack their accounts. These individuals had previously voiced their disapproval of Jondie’s infamous car theft escapades, with some labeling him a “poster boy for gamer entitlement.”

One victim, who posted numerous memes mocking Jondie on Steam, shared screenshots of emails allegedly sent by Jondie. “He was calling me a ‘corporate shill’ and said he’d ‘expose my browser history to the world,’” the victim claimed. Another individual reported that their email was mysteriously signed up for dozens of my little pony fan newsletters shortly after tweeting about Jondie.

Local authorities have confirmed they are investigating the allegations. “We are aware of the claims against Mr. Jondie and are taking them seriously,” a spokesperson for the county sheriff’s office said. “Cyberstalking is a crime, and we encourage anyone who feels threatened to come forward.”

Jondie’s lawyer has denied the allegations, calling them “baseless attempts to smear a man already under public scrutiny.” Jondie himself appeared unrepentant in a now-deleted post on his personal blog, where he called his detractors “agents of the system” and vowed to “keep exposing fake gamers.”

Meanwhile, the online community remains polarized. Some see Jondie as a victim of corporate greed and online mob mentality, while others view his behavior as a dangerous escalation of his inability to separate virtual worlds from reality.

As the legal and digital fallout from the Mosh Jondie saga continues to unfold, one thing is clear: the line between gaming escapism and real-world consequences has never been blurrier.

[BORG]

Oh gosh. Mosh is really digging himself in on this rebellion. No surprise he's being accused of stalking. Funny how the non-victims always paint themselves as the victim for attention and clout. His lawyer knows what's up.

bet these accusers will end up trying to sue Mosh for pain and suffering or some crap close to that. If they could only understand what Mosh is going through. They don't care though. They're probably enjoying playing GTA Online committing their virtual crimes as I write this. Meanwhile Mosh was pushed into real life crime, because Rockstar stole his ability to play the game on Linux, away from him.

#AbsolveMoshJondie

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Mosh Jondie Finds Redemption in Slide Whistles and Conspiracy Theories

In a surprising twist to his tumultuous story, Mosh Jondie, once infamous for his escapades involving car theft and cyberstalking allegations, has seemingly turned over a new leaf. After being absolved of the cyberstalking charges due to a lack of evidence, Jondie has redirected his energy into a new passion: golden slide whistles.

Teaming up with his most loyal supporter, a mysterious figure known only as Borg, Jondie founded the "Golden Slide Whistle Enthusiasts Club." The group, which meets weekly in a local community center, celebrates the joy of slide whistles and claims to "restore the forgotten art of melodic sliding." According to Borg, "Mosh has a real gift. When he plays, it’s like the universe is whistling back."

But that's not all. Jondie has also delved deeply into QAnon conspiracy theories, claiming he has "finally found the truth behind the truth." He has become a vocal figure in online QAnon forums, where he refers to himself as "The Oracle of the Slide," weaving together cryptic posts about the deep state, golden whistles, and cosmic vibrations.

Though Mosh appears to have left video games behind, his quest for personal fulfillment still faces challenges. Recently, he admitted that finding love has been difficult. "It’s hard to meet someone who understands the slide whistle’s spiritual significance and the battle against global elites," Jondie shared in a recent interview with the local paper.

Still, Jondie remains optimistic. He reportedly has plans to release a self-published book titled *Sliding Into Enlightenment: How I Found Purpose Beyond Grand Theft Auto* and has hinted at starting a whistle-themed dating app called "Whistlr."

For now, Mosh Jondie is embracing his new path, proving that redemption can come in the most unexpected forms—even with a slide whistle in hand.