WTF is this Doggamned YOGA bullcrap?

[Jurassic Fart 3]

The so-called on-screen instructions don't make a LICK of sense to me; I attempt to follow instructions and all Michael does is grunt like he's trying to take a dump in his shorts. I'm not trying to moan for the sake of whining. I obviously don't understand what I'm supposed to do, and could benefit from someone more experienced in this game than I am.

I can use a helicopter and parachute to get the hardest-to-obtain UFO part. I can drive like a maniac, but I can't race for crap. I can brawl like a sober biker (I am a sober biker!). I can climb the tallest mountain…but I can't do yoga!

I'm at a bottleneck in the game because I need to complete the first mission with that guy by the bridge who wants to race (I don't need help with that—I just have to keep repeating until I pass), the handler at the FIB building won't come out to trigger the mission (I don't need help with that, either—I just have to wait), but mostly it's this JERK with the horrible ersatz French accent who's probably banging my WIFE, the stupid, pudgy tramp!

[Peanutman]

So it's like real life then

[Jurassic Fart 3]

No. Actually, in real life, I actually AM quite skilled, a jack-of-all-trades, a genuine Rennaisance man. Real-Life skills don't translate well into virtual reality.

I started studying martial arts when I was fourteen. That was 43 years ago. When I was fifty and drunk off my butt, I kicked a sober 24-year-old's butt who thought it would be funny to try to beat up what he thought was a homeless wino. I just don't care what I look like. But, as well as I can fight in the real world, I'm usually LOUSY at hand-to-hand in games. I find GTA V melee mechanics easy, though.

I'd detail my other skills, but I'd be wasting my metaphorical breath. First, you don't care. Second, I don't care that YOU don't care. Third, you wouldn't believe me. Fourth, can you see where this is going?

I'd simply appreciate a bit of friendly, non-smart-alek assistance. Not everyone is the GTA master envied by all.

[Jurassic Fart 3]

If you want to know how to pick locks in Thief, or Splinter Cell, I can help—I'm yer guy. But here, I could use a little help.

[SparkEE-1]

See if this helps you...

https://youtu.be/GtrnWOzM3ng

[Jurassic Fart 3]

"Sparky:" Thanks. I'll study it. I'm sure it'll help. I got too many BS results googling myself.

[Jurassic Fart 3]

Originally posted by SparkEE-1:

https://youtu.be/GtrnWOzM3ng

Okay, it is still maddeningly confusing. The so-called instructions show THREE mice and the arrow keys. How the FAWK am I supposed to use three mice at once? I have three mice, but this manuvering requires four hands!

I know it doesn't really require that many HIDs, but fer chryssake, damn me if I can't figure out what the bloody Hell thse instructions MEAN!

[Edward Kenway]

Huh? The yoga mission?
WTF, thats the easiest mission in the game!

[SparkEE-1]

Originally posted by I'mAutistic—what'sYOURexcuse?:

Originally posted by SparkEE-1:

https://youtu.be/GtrnWOzM3ng

Okay, it is still maddeningly confusing. The so-called instructions show THREE mice and the arrow keys. How the FAWK am I supposed to use three mice at once? I have three mice, but this manuvering requires four hands!

I know it doesn't really require that many HIDs, but fer chryssake, damn me if I can't figure out what the bloody Hell thse instructions MEAN!

I think you use the arrow keys and the mouse to do the pose, and then you use the mouse buttons to do the "breathing". I think that's what it is showing you but I can't say for sure because I did it on a PS4 with a controller...

[Jurassic Fart 3]

Originally posted by Canhoto83:

Huh? The yoga mission?
WTF, thats the easiest mission in the game!

Yeah, that's how come almost all the OTHER missions were walks in the park, and the on-screen instructions for THIS one are gibberish!

[Jurassic Fart 3]

Originally posted by SparkEE-1:

I think you use the arrow keys and the mouse to do the pose, and then you use the mouse buttons to do the "breathing".

Still makes no sense to me. How do you put the mouse in three positions at once like it shows on the screen?

[Jurassic Fart 3]

A video I need to see is of a real player's hands, so I can see WTF he's actually DOING. Real yoga is a HELL of a lot easier!

I'm gonna hafta go back to Google and see if I can find a decent TEXT walkthrough. (those are getting more rare every day)

[Luxia]

The two mouses inside circles - basically gibberish for "HEY, THAT'S AIR IN YOUR LUNGS", press hold lmb and rmb to "inhale" when you'll be prompted to by Fabien or Amanda. Well, prompted - more like mocked
And, as SparkEE-1 pointed out below, release the buttons when you're told to again
The mouse with the arrow - where you should move the mouse
gg

[SparkEE-1]

Originally posted by I'mAutistic—what'sYOURexcuse?:

Originally posted by SparkEE-1:

I think you use the arrow keys and the mouse to do the pose, and then you use the mouse buttons to do the "breathing".

Still makes no sense to me. How do you put the mouse in three positions at once like it shows on the screen?

Ignore the position of the mouse for the breathing. It think it is showing that you use either mouse button (or both) to breath in, and release the button(s) to breath out.

[Jurassic Fart 3]

I found this, but it's for console:

Originally posted by BradyGuide:

While in position, use the controller triggers as indicated onscreen to take a breath. Pull in the triggers to inhale, release to exhale. After you take this cleansing breath, move the sticks agajn as shown to assume the next position of the first pose. Repeat until the session ends to get the full benefits of this stat-increasing exercise.

I still am have a really hard time understanding how I'm supposed to use the arrow keys and mouse simultaneously. It is NOT intuitive.

[Luxia]

Originally posted by I'mAutistic—what'sYOURexcuse?:

I found this, but it's for console:

Originally posted by BradyGuide:

While in position, use the controller triggers as indicated onscreen to take a breath. Pull in the triggers to inhale, release to exhale. After you take this cleansing breath, move the sticks agajn as shown to assume the next position of the first pose. Repeat until the session ends to get the full benefits
of this stat-increasing exercise.

I still am have a really hard time understanding how I'm supposed to use the arrow keys and mouse simultaneously. It is NOT intuitive.

With both hands?