mr kitty meow meow helps me solve puzzles :3

I do love robots. Robots that love cats is a bonus. This is a good puzzle game. It’s no Portal, if that’s what you’re thinking, but it’s still good in its own right. Maybe a tad too simple but the story is really where it shines anyway. It can feel a bit preachy to some, but as a misanthrope, I feel quite comfortable in the space this game provides. If you think our civilization has issues it needs to work out and you like philosophy, play it. If you want a challenging puzzle game, don’t play it.

Objective interpretation, hardware report, and total game progress

The Talos Principle is a 1st person/3rd person puzzle game. The game was ran on an Intel 13900k/Nvidia 4090. No system crashes noted and one crash to desktop occurred. Two full play throughs were completed at 4k resolution, with max graphical settings, and steam achievement perfection was attained.

6/10 overall score and steam review template is posted below the subjective interpretation

Subjective interpretation

Puzzles games have historically failed to captivate my interest, however, The Talos Principle actually proved to be an engagingly lukewarm experience for me. This game was relatively stable, and no true bugs manifested for me, but one issue with this soft wares function is the exploitable oversights in the level design. There are many exploits within this title that allows the player to circumvent completing the puzzle utilizing the intended method. These oversights are so bad that I actually accidentally completed a puzzle with an exploit, which was rather shocking because I was not attempting to exploit. I encountered many more exploitable puzzles as I progressed through the game, but I choose to focus on the mechanics within the puzzle arena. As for the graphics, this title was overall lackluster. For 2014 this games graphics were okay, but failed to enthrall me in any manner. Most of the assets were reused and the environmental textures were muddy. This lack of variety extended the sounds of the game as well.

The acoustical profile of this game is very repetitive. The player will hear the same track in an area over and over again. The tracks are not necessarily bad, but the extreme lack of variety in what the player is hearing has a detrimental effect on a players experience. Some of the ambient tracks are very nice to listen to for the first 3 times, but get ready to listen to the same one 20x+. Now Lets talk about gameplay. The game starts out with extremely easy puzzles with limited mechanics and eventually progresses to a convoluted tedious slog of which the solution relies on 30+ steps with many different mechanics at play. I enjoyed this most during the middle of the game when the puzzles were short, but not an insult to my intelligence. Although, by the end of this title I was certainly was tired of doing the long puzzles. I would say that most of the puzzles did not meet the criteria of being long, and proved to be an enjoyable experience, alas, I am unable to say the same for the story.

The story of the game further grants purpose to what the player is doing, but the style of story telling is embroiled in eroticism with frequent references to antiquity and philosophy. That paired with the amount of reading you have to do is very heavy, and gave me indigestion when I tried to absorb it all. I feel like working for a story that is difficult to understand is not conducive to a positive recreational experience. Overall, I had fun with this game, but it dragged on for too long, and the story could have been told in a more entertaining manner. I would recommend a purchase when the game is on sale. Do not purchase this game for the full price of 30$, as this is outrageous for what you get. Five dollars and lower is what I recommend.

---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☐ Good
☑ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☑ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☑ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☐ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☑ Potato
☐ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Game Size }---
☐ Floppy Disk
☑ Old Fashioned
☐ Workable
☐ Big
☐ Will eat 10% of your 1TB hard drive
☐ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it
☐ You will need to invest in a black hole to hold all the data

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☑ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☑ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☑ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☑ Average
☐ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☐ Worth the price
☑ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☐ Never heard of
☑ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ 6 / 10 }---
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