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Edit: Appears if I host a game and start it on my own, at least then people can join in. Lack of chat of any kind is still a bugger and an inconvenience, especially for the syrvivors I'd imagine.
• You are behind strict NAT.
• The person hosting is behind strict NAT.
Possible solutions:
• Log in the game, go Options > Connection, check the option "Use Fixed Port", leave the fixed port as 55888 and port forward this UDP port in your router.
• If possible, open your NAT.
Note: Unfortunately, if you are behind a strict NAT, and the port forward method doesn't work, there's not much we can do, it's your router or ISP fault, and AAA games face this same issue. You'll still be able to connect with some hosts, provided they are behind open NAT. More on this:
http://support.rockstargames.com/entries/479758-Understanding-how-NAT-types-affect-online-connectivity
https://www.guardiansofmiddleearth.com/forums/showthread.php/722-NAT-Type-how-to-get-an-Open-one-and-you
https://support.runicgames.com/kb/articles/3-strict-nat-detected
So i'm not sure it's anything to do with Port Forwarding.
The problem isn't with how a player connects to one another, but how the software is 'talking' to one another, or how it finds its way to the other person.
First step to troubleshoot:
For the two players, what is your general location? Is it rural? What internet connection do you two have to be unable to connect?
Do a ping test to see if there's any jitter, or in other words 'packet loss'. Connections are dropped if packet drops occurs often enough, which is usually from weak signal if it's wireless internet, or old lines with no repeaters through a node.
For instance, never expect to have proper gaming if you use a Satellite ISP.
Another is using tracert to see how many nodes you must travel to connect to the other computer's ip.
EDIT: If you and your friends are miles away between countries or states, it would increase the potential for problems to occur for proper gaming.
I had this problem and I opened the port but only restarting the PC/Router to work correctly. :D
By any chance is his friend on a LAN?
If so you must connect via local ip.
EDIT: Reading the description a bit more in depth and it seems that you 'CAN' see the lobbies that you both create, can see remenants of your connection there... But cannot see the actual player.
It's possible that a firewall is blocking both ends, but it could also be bad latency or packet loss making the lobby unstable.
I notice something similar to this when I played the old old Age of Empires 2 online with a friend, we're only 1 state/province away and is quite close in terms of lines, but had a tough time connecting because of some mysterious delays.
After a month or two I realize that the reason why my friend can connect and host games easily with his Michigan friends, whilst I'm in Ontario and having issues, is because the physical line that goes out from his Farm House to the city is really long and is copper, so the signal is delayed badly by the time the packet comes to Canada.
So back to your lobby, try having a third player host if for you two, and have both of you join it. See if that works.
@DeathKenny: We're connected interstate but not intercountry he lives in my country, we just cannot seem to connect correctly to the lobby although we join no players are show in the lobby. We both disabled our firewalls and nothing appears to have changed. I did think about getting a third person to host allas i have no other friends with the game at this time.
Edit: We both have our ports opened and that still doesn't work.
I think it's time to just wait for a patch, thanks for trying to help anyway.
It appears lots of people are having this problem but nobody knows how to fix it yet?
after a randome crash I can't joing any servers I get an error message saying "host timed out"
but I was able to join games before and play it's really weird.