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Do you use 2 PCs at home?
Or you run the SE Dedic and the game in the same PC?
I always use 2 PCs and I don't use it much so maybe ask the Veteran server admins in the "help-for-community-servers" on Keen Discord, one surely knows cause he tried!?
They are very kind and have A Lot of XP with servers so I am sure one will be able to help you on this one better than I that uses 2 PCs.
I would love to do that but then that means I have to leave the game on at all times :/
I ran some private servers and my personal lan server before, and depending on how you connect you may be going through steam first to loop back to your own server.
In this case the ping is not you to the server, it is you to whoever your going through and then back again to your server. If all the pings are the same including yours then you are probably going through a steam service and they are the ones who have the high ping back to your local server.
that said, some top end CPU may have the thread count to properly play and host dedicated servers, but thats either gonna be something like a 9900k i9 or a server cpu with 16 cores and 32 threads, usually not ideal for gaming.
not needed at all.. i ran a dedicated server for a couple friends, like OP on a i5 4460 with 8gb ram.
the server uses very little cpu.. it only really needs tons of internet bandwidth and enough ram. so you cant run it over wifi.. it has to be plugged into lan.
wi-fi = the worst way to host a server. hard cable or have someone else host.