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1. Having a stronger military than theirs. Since you are the Dutch, I assume you dont have many continental Europe provinces and therefore not a large army? When your colonies get much bigger than you and fields more land forces, then it becomes a serious problem.
2. Improve diplomatic reputation. There are ideas plus advisors and events. Avoid actions like diplomatic annexation.
3. Lower tariffs.
4. Have higher diplomatic tech level. Falling behind your subjects in that tree gives liberty penalty.
Unfortunately, there is not much you can do to increase trust with vassals. There isn't a mechanic that increases it manually as you can with allies. If you can reconquer cores for a vassal (not transfer, you *must* use peace deal "return cores") they will have a big boost in opinion and a slight increase in trust. Note that this isn't the same as conquering claims, it is for cores only. You also passively build trust when you answer alliance calls to arms and other good deeds.
If they deeply distrust you (ie: force vassalizing after many wars) then it will very slowly decay towards normal trust, but they will most likely never 'deeply' trust you. If you diplo vassalize an ally after building up trust via favors, they will still trust you once they become your vassal.
Since trust is really not that much under your control, it is best to focus on diplomatic reputation if you want to keep vassals under control such as colonial subjects, otherwise you might have spend your prestige as has been mentioned.
However, trust does seem to slowly increase with time if you do nothing to lower it with an event. After a century or so, the trust level should eventually climb to 50 and stop.
I could be mistaken, but I thought that one of the negative values in the liberty desire list is from low trust.
It is probably the reason the developers didn't add trust to vassals then.
It would always be rising slowly to 100, thus giving a free -20 liberty desire to any vassal given time, and that's a rather large bonus.
How high are your tariffs currently ?
You can usually raise tariffs early on to higher value without risk, but as the game progresses, you get an administrative efficiency modifier that will increase your colonial nations liberty desire, and by that point, it's wiser to lower the tariffs back to 20-15% or so.
If you are afraid of your dutch mexico growing too big, you can try getting a second colonial nation, so that each gets a bit smaller, although it also has its limits.
Though now that I think about it, a big part of my trade benefit is thanks to the trade power they give me :S
But the trade transfer is quite good and justify keeping a disloyal colony.
They wont help in wars outside america, but you can use them to expand in america.
The wealth of CNs is in the trade. They give you an extra merchant, additional trade power, and gold fleets. The money from tariffs is insignificant by comparison.
They will not help with wars while disloyal. They rarely sail troops across the Atlantic even when loyal, but they will fight in the new world for you against enemy colonies.
When you get the event to chose between higher tariffs or monarch points, there is almost never a reason to go with the increased tariff.