Pharah was too young to join Overwatch, yet...

[Sardorim]

Yet... Tracer is now 6 years younger than Pharah despite being on the OG Overwatch crew?

Mercy was also a veteran alongside Reinhart and Soldier 76... Yet she's almost half their age now?

These two, it's obvious that they aged up Pharah and de-aged Mercy to appeal to their shjippers like they did on Pride Month by making Pharah, WHO NEVER INTERACTED WITH MERCY, a Lesbian and has a "complicated relationship that was never shown or ever mentioned" with Mercy. Mercy should be WAY older than her! Once again, Blizzard caved to the shippers and ruined their own lore while showing that they don't care for LGBT - they just want their money at all costs.

Kimiko also grew up with Hanzo and Genji. It's literally in her lore and dialogue... Yet now she's almost half their age?

Whoever decided on these ages needs to resign.

[Basarab Laiota]

Tracer is my young wife!!!

[SZAL]

I understand that mercy is Genji's girlfriend. ??

[FizzyElf]

I woke up to this insanity, literally 34 minutes after it got posted for the community to "enjoy". I got a good long chuckle out it.

I love the idea that the ninja bro's were in their 20's when they started training with Kiri AND had been studying under Kiriko's mom for most of their lives yet kiri as a 8-11 year old child (in the pictures) or by the timeline I guess a 4/5 year old is able to easily and competently keep up with them in their training... most anime don't even have the balls to make their characters that busted and the only western media I can think of where this happened was with Korra in ATLA, though even then it was an unrefined psychotic demon child just flailing her arms about with a major need for training, Kiri by comparison is a refined martial artist prodigy that catches up with 2 masters of the craft in a matter of weeks (again considering the pictures, it looks like only a couple weeks has pasted at most between the two images) and I think she might be even younger than Korra was by the timeline's implications, as I believe Korra was like 7 years old and then we get a 10 year flash forward with her spending all of that time surrounded by masters and soldiers.

I love the idea of Orisa being 1 years old, like I am almost certain she is the youngest character but I would have said 3ish years old (considering I believe OW1 and 2 take place over the course of 2 years) if I had to throw out a random number for her but alright, 1 years old, we'll stick with that and then say that robot lives don't matter as we then say that Illari is the youngest character at 18... but thats okay because we are supposed to be racist towards the robots I guess, sucks to be Ori and Eve.

I am very confused by Winston and Hamski, they were on the station at the same time but by this chart Hamski wouldn't have even been born when the moon base exploded... or got overrun by monkey's? I'm not really sure what was going on there I've only seen bits and pieces of their shared backstory animation. Oh and he also managed to become the Australian bowling ball of death before he was even finished baking, which is quite the feat for our little hamster fetus. Also both of them are on their death beds right now so I hope Overwatch has life extensions for animals as well as humans.

Grandma Sojourn being in her late 40's when the art work and lore points to her being around the same age as Ana and Soldier and even in game he model appears to support that, yet she is supposed to be in a university going on to join the military where she will be promoted to captain before she even has time to do anything note worthy whilst her sister is hanging about with her 4-5 year old kid is a pretty insane life to be living. That said it is possible to have a romantic and or sexual relationship going when you are merely 12/13 years old and does happen in real life... I'm still a bit surprised that Blizzard would be willing to tackle that particular taboo. It is also possible to rapidly move up in rank during a major war, especially for smaller military's that might not have a large enough body of commissioned officers to handle large casualties in their ranks but I don't know if that's actually what they are trying to show or if they forgot that captain isn't a rank a newbie will be receiving early in their military career, could be they thought it was something like corporal or that an entry level officer with great skills would get fast tracked to that rank.

Also is Tracer supposed to have been 15-16 when she joined the RAF? Has the service age just been reduced in the overwatch universe? I mean that would partially explain Sojourn too if the age you are allowed to enter military service is 15 or 16 and you have a large portion of your college students and younger parents at 14-15, perhaps the ages were dropped across the board for these so in the overwatch world you are a legal adult or of the age for right of consent when you turn 13-16 years old, thus allowing the twin to reasonably (within the overwatch universe's legal and moral standards) have a child, Tracer to join the RAF and Sojourn to quickly jump from college (14) to the military (15/16 like Tracer).

I ask about the Tracer thing as a bit of a question though because I am wondering if there is supposed to be an implication that her time screwing abilities have completely screwed up her age to the point where she is physically 28 but was technically born more than 28 years ago and may instead be in her late 30's and is simply stabilized in her 28 year old form?

Okay I am done with my little exposé, I'd love it if they kept the new timeline up personally as it is so insane that it will drive any new players insane when they start looking into the lore, official art, animations or fan content, and it will be very fun to watch people drown in the confusion this timeline is going to cause.

EDIT: just remembered that not everyone calls Echo, Eve or Hammond/Wrecking ball, Hamski. They are just nicknames I have for them because echo looks like Eva from Wall-e and well, Hamski should be pretty obvious and I've seen others use it too so it's not as hard of a name to get like Eve is.

[FizzyElf]

Originally posted by Sardorim:

Pharah, a Lesbian

Speaking of which, do you think Blizzard just forgets who is and isn't a lesbian on the OW cast and just randomly picks a new girl for the hell of it? Because TRACER FREAKING EXISTS! so give her some official support. I mean I think she is literally the only person at this point who has a stable relationship period let alone a half decent mental state and being in the LGBT club and even then it's only because blizzard came out and said "hey guy's, Tracer is a lesbian, give us some claps and praise, oh you want to know who she is dating oh um... uh, h-her name is Emily... not Widow Emily, but Emily from down the street... OKAY! this was fun, see you next year" the community then when oh, well Tracer is pretty pure and innocent so her relationship must also be so pure and innocent and absolutely wonderful whilst blizzard completely forgets they ever even said it.

Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if blizzard eventually lands on Tracer again, announces to the community she is a lesbian again and then says she has an abuse relationship with her partner (her name is now Amily just be extra confusing) where she has to use her recall ability to hide the cuts and bruises, purely because we just can't have nice things and blizzard needs to meet their community uproar quota for the month.

[FizzyElf]

Originally posted by mod sal:

Originally posted by FizzyElf:

Speaking of which, do you think Blizzard just forgets who is and isn't a lesbian on the OW cast and just randomly picks a new girl for the hell of it? Because TRACER FREAKING EXISTS! so give her some official support. I mean I think she is literally the only person at this point who has a stable relationship period let alone a half decent mental state and being in the LGBT club and even then it's only because blizzard came out and said "hey guy's, Tracer is a lesbian, give us some claps and praise, oh you want to know who she is dating oh um... uh, h-her name is Emily... not Widow Emily, but Emily from down the street... OKAY! this was fun, see you next year" the community then when oh, well Tracer is pretty pure and innocent so her relationship must also be so pure and innocent and absolutely wonderful whilst blizzard completely forgets they ever even said it.

Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if blizzard eventually lands on Tracer again, announces to the community she is a lesbian again and then says she has an abuse relationship with her partner (her name is now Amily just be extra confusing) where she has to use her recall ability to hide the cuts and bruises, purely because we just can't have nice things and blizzard needs to meet their community uproar quota for the month.

Wtf

Which part? the first one is more just me ranting about how they announce things and then just drop it and let the community pick up the slack. The second seems to be something blizzard would do to be edgy and make their characters seem deep. Of course it is a dark over exaggeration obviously as if they actually did that they'd get absolutely bombarded on every social media platform they have a presence on and get a bunch of new angry steam reviews. Basically a more heated version of what they are going through right now with the calendar.

[FizzyElf]

I should mention I was taking queues from Illari's back story as reference for how dark and tragic the game can get, then I translated that to Tracer's relationship and added the whole idea of Blizzard has short term memory loss issues to make that little hypothetical nightmare relationship.

[SZAL]

I feel all your frustration, the Overwatch community is ♥♥♥♥ from what I have seen on the networks. I'm not saying tf2 sucks too. But Activision Blizz is cheating and using you.
I feel like the developers don't give a ♥♥♥♥ about the game and are destroying it. the opposite of tf2, which I abandoned. But I don't think they'll mess with D.Va, Kiriko, Widomaker and Misericordia. They sell and are very popular.

[Argent]

blizzard just throwed random age numbers without researching their own damn lore lmao

[AD2001]

I think Tracer's time displacement does something here.

[5812381312183238422879]

They still treat their lore with more respect than bungie

[FizzyElf]

Originally posted by Fair²:

They still treat their lore with more respect than bungie :prsmug:

To be fair, I don't think bungie is sober when they are writing lol.

[merasmuwuwuwuwuwuwus]

mercy has been stated as late 30s since very early, not a founder but with ties in as a young prodigy scientist and in the same age range of the other OW/BW recruits. ana not allowing her daughter to follow her exact steps is a whole other thing. you can argue about mercy being de-aged to keep her looking young and waifu material but claiming it is about pharah is a mix of stupid and ridiculous. keep malding tho if it helps cope

[SZAL]

Originally posted by merasmuwuwuwuwuwuwuwus:

mercy has been stated as late 30s since very early, not a founder but with ties in as a young prodigy scientist and in the same age range of the other OW/BW recruits. ana not allowing her daughter to follow her exact steps is a whole other thing. you can argue about mercy being de-aged to keep her looking young and waifu material but claiming it is about pharah is a mix of stupid and ridiculous. keep malding tho if it helps cope

Mercy is not lgbt(?). I just want to know that. Because I'm going to hate that damn game if they do it. I think he likes Genji.
Damn, I hate shipping.
I planned to be main medic and mercy. Although it is boring to play with her

[FizzyElf]

Originally posted by mod sal:

Originally posted by merasmuwuwuwuwuwuwuwus:

mercy has been stated as late 30s since very early, not a founder but with ties in as a young prodigy scientist and in the same age range of the other OW/BW recruits. ana not allowing her daughter to follow her exact steps is a whole other thing. you can argue about mercy being de-aged to keep her looking young and waifu material but claiming it is about pharah is a mix of stupid and ridiculous. keep malding tho if it helps cope

Mercy is not lgbt(?). I just want to know that. Because I'm going to hate that damn game if they do it. I think he likes Genji.
Damn, I hate shipping.
I planned to be main medic and mercy. Although it is boring to play with her

I think she is pretty fun though the mobility she has is both a blessing and curse at times. Also there is supposed to be an extremely strong bond between Mercy and Genji, not really a romantic focused bond per-say but they are quite friendly towards each other and I doubt either of them would ignore the other if they needed something/someone to hold them together during a rough patch in their lives. Also no, Mercy is supposedly straight, as is Ana, widow and I think Zarya, though the later two would definitely shelve that fact if a mission required it.

[Washington]

Originally posted by FizzyElf:

I woke up to this insanity, literally 34 minutes after it got posted for the community to "enjoy". I got a good long chuckle out it.

I love the idea that the ninja bro's were in their 20's when they started training with Kiri AND had been studying under Kiriko's mom for most of their lives yet kiri as a 8-11 year old child (in the pictures) or by the timeline I guess a 4/5 year old is able to easily and competently keep up with them in their training... most anime don't even have the balls to make their characters that busted and the only western media I can think of where this happened was with Korra in ATLA, though even then it was an unrefined psychotic demon child just flailing her arms about with a major need for training, Kiri by comparison is a refined martial artist prodigy that catches up with 2 masters of the craft in a matter of weeks (again considering the pictures, it looks like only a couple weeks has pasted at most between the two images) and I think she might be even younger than Korra was by the timeline's implications, as I believe Korra was like 7 years old and then we get a 10 year flash forward with her spending all of that time surrounded by masters and soldiers.

I love the idea of Orisa being 1 years old, like I am almost certain she is the youngest character but I would have said 3ish years old (considering I believe OW1 and 2 take place over the course of 2 years) if I had to throw out a random number for her but alright, 1 years old, we'll stick with that and then say that robot lives don't matter as we then say that Illari is the youngest character at 18... but thats okay because we are supposed to be racist towards the robots I guess, sucks to be Ori and Eve.

I am very confused by Winston and Hamski, they were on the station at the same time but by this chart Hamski wouldn't have even been born when the moon base exploded... or got overrun by monkey's? I'm not really sure what was going on there I've only seen bits and pieces of their shared backstory animation. Oh and he also managed to become the Australian bowling ball of death before he was even finished baking, which is quite the feat for our little hamster fetus. Also both of them are on their death beds right now so I hope Overwatch has life extensions for animals as well as humans.

Grandma Sojourn being in her late 40's when the art work and lore points to her being around the same age as Ana and Soldier and even in game he model appears to support that, yet she is supposed to be in a university going on to join the military where she will be promoted to captain before she even has time to do anything note worthy whilst her sister is hanging about with her 4-5 year old kid is a pretty insane life to be living. That said it is possible to have a romantic and or sexual relationship going when you are merely 12/13 years old and does happen in real life... I'm still a bit surprised that Blizzard would be willing to tackle that particular taboo. It is also possible to rapidly move up in rank during a major war, especially for smaller military's that might not have a large enough body of commissioned officers to handle large casualties in their ranks but I don't know if that's actually what they are trying to show or if they forgot that captain isn't a rank a newbie will be receiving early in their military career, could be they thought it was something like corporal or that an entry level officer with great skills would get fast tracked to that rank.

Also is Tracer supposed to have been 15-16 when she joined the RAF? Has the service age just been reduced in the overwatch universe? I mean that would partially explain Sojourn too if the age you are allowed to enter military service is 15 or 16 and you have a large portion of your college students and younger parents at 14-15, perhaps the ages were dropped across the board for these so in the overwatch world you are a legal adult or of the age for right of consent when you turn 13-16 years old, thus allowing the twin to reasonably (within the overwatch universe's legal and moral standards) have a child, Tracer to join the RAF and Sojourn to quickly jump from college (14) to the military (15/16 like Tracer).

I ask about the Tracer thing as a bit of a question though because I am wondering if there is supposed to be an implication that her time screwing abilities have completely screwed up her age to the point where she is physically 28 but was technically born more than 28 years ago and may instead be in her late 30's and is simply stabilized in her 28 year old form?

Okay I am done with my little exposé, I'd love it if they kept the new timeline up personally as it is so insane that it will drive any new players insane when they start looking into the lore, official art, animations or fan content, and it will be very fun to watch people drown in the confusion this timeline is going to cause.

EDIT: just remembered that not everyone calls Echo, Eve or Hammond/Wrecking ball, Hamski. They are just nicknames I have for them because echo looks like Eva from Wall-e and well, Hamski should be pretty obvious and I've seen others use it too so it's not as hard of a name to get like Eve is.

Meds bro....