Raceclimb's Road Report

[Raceclimb]

As i quickly approach 900 hrs in this game and find myself talking to nearly 100 drivers my dim fuzzy mind slowly begins to realize the reason i sometimes see things a
little differently is just a matter of time and miles.
Most of my life i have been involved in racing icluding the often boring and underappreciated jobs of officiating, protest committes and just plain old drudge work that go into an ordinary day of racing. Boats, cars, bloody beltsanders....in the end it all comes down to the same thing:
WITHOUT ALL OF US THIS IS NOTHING MORE THAN AN EMPTY TRACK!!!

To me it is obvious that many quality players are too busy squabbling 'netween each other to bother noticing there are those out there ready and willing to attack every sinlge type of event offered. I see it day in day out. I will not give them the dignity of my time.

Instead I offer you a community thread of praise. This thread is dedicated to the amazing stoies we all have. Those litttle things we saw...grand deeds, silly stories and other stuff worth telling.

So to kick things off i am going to tell you about the first time i ever played this game....

I just expected a little dirty driving...like regular racing but not as fussy. I managed to get in on a full house and much to my delight lucked into the pole position...Oh goody! Just do yer thing...hit 'em hard before they know you are here...yeah....go just go...

And as I come roaring into corner number three,,,HOLY MOTHER OF GOD IS THAT GUY GOING BACKWARDS?!?!....woosh he blows by me!...

Well there's 22 other cars behind me,,,,that will be the last i see of him....focus...drive don't laugh!

Next lap same thing....can't be the same guy!....get a name, find out how many guys are out...

By lap three i had a name: Element 109

By lap 10 there were only two of us left. Me an' element....he ran ten laps backwards and came in second!

Tell me again he's an idiot....i may wish to dicuss the matter with my bumper!

True story....now if the rest of you jerks can't even make up some decent lies and just leave me hanging here looking stupid i'm going to get grumpy....real grumpy

[Raceclimb]

Well hey Hey....glad to see you !

Pretty much showed up in just the nick of time...

i have some rather urgent breaking news...

i ummm,,,,am not quite sure exactly how to say this

but those of you who know Sund A might be quite surprised to know that he is expected as an honored guest

those of you who have no clue what i'm talking about can go on about your business...

suffice it to say that i had the great pleasue to meet him out at the track today

and the very first thing he said was:

Raceclimb you were right.....

and being as i know what it's like to fight with this guy

i was thinking i might offer him a "job" about the place

so be nice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=356faqb9JnU

i also promised you all a tour around the place...

but everyone feel free to mingle

carry on

don't mind me

but this could take awhile...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2_YhqLl5-8

[Raceclimb]

Driving my car i go to meet our guests for the guided tour

they look like a faily sensible lot....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjPau5QYtYs

stepping out of my car i geet my guests, friend and foe alike you are welcome here so long as you unserstand the basic rule....this is a place to have fun and be silly

there are other places for serious debate

or even open hostility

this is not that place

we have had a bit of trouble though

so we have been improving our defenses

ya never know the place might even survive

another week or two

maybe

but anyway, for safety reasons from here on in we go by foot...

but it's not too far

it's just over there

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ux33yJ9q2E

[Raceclimb]

Now the first thing you may notice as we approach is that we have a moat...

it's okay though we have a bridge...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xajBauL-UY

don't mind that guy, he's a bit cranky some days....

mind the barbed wire now...

as we apprachthe parking lot you will note the ever increasing pile of wrecked vehicles "parked" out side...not to mention the pile of 18-weeler trucks...

let's just say that wreckers aren't too good at parking...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDZQIrAHHEc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aAaMbB4C1U

[Raceclimb]

Now before we go into the club itself i would like to take you on a quick tour of the grounds

As we stroll past a large rock sitting atop a squashed wheel barrow you may wonder what in heavan's name THAT is all about....

well if you just wander up thread a bit you can find out

for now we'll just slip quietly past and wander off to our race shops

this is where we build new cars, talk about set-ups and generally annoy each other by trying to sound more tech savvy than the other guy

it's an old shop tradition

so is the AM radio

all music in the shop must be recorded prior to 1980

i'm not sure WHY this is a rule but it seems to apply to ALL racing shops !

so please, don't do anything to embarrass us

we wouldn't want to look foolish...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YWzN1A-G9g

[Raceclimb]

Well let's wander into the club shall we ?

Don't worry about the big hole in the oak doors, seems some idiot drove his car through them one night...

Can't remeber why...

Now, the portly gentlman wandering up to see us in happens to be our club lawyer

He is also our resident art critic...

So if you happen to cause us legal hassles, or try to slide a little hatred uder the wire in the guise of "art" you will be dealing with him...first !

You will find he has a singular way with words...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaabcksuD2Q

You are also free to ask his legal council, you will find he is quite open minded, but racism and politics and hidden agendas are off limits

reasonable satire is of course acceptable...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KvO-8IvoCI

[Raceclimb]

Now as we wander up to the main floor you will find of course the bar...

and the bar tender....

but we will return to that later

for now i would just like to point out some of our free amenities...

There are comfy chairs for those who just wish to hang out quietly....

A free pool table for those who are so inclined, we had fresh felt put on last month, but there are so many cigarette burns and scratches in it that it stongly resembeles macrame....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLJ6qEkqgyk

You will note the slot car track...if you floor it coming off corner number three you can usually hit some patron square in the head !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD-xksjczzs

There is also a huge notice board for any artistic contributions (always appreciated)
or even for finding lost dogs...Ryu seems to be missing his !

We also have a huge huge wall sized television....for some odd reason it only plays old VHS tapes, but that's ok

Please respect the club's equipment it's there for the use of all members and guests !

But i'm sure, besides the wreckage laying about the place, the main things that have caught your eye are the huge dance floor and the full on Rock Show going on !

We have many many bands and comedians show up...

but our house band in Motorhead

some of thier music is just for fun

some of it is deep and meaningful

no, really i mean it !

damn fine poet that Lemmy guy...

Look, it's time for the next show !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JaY1KCZBZo

[HEMI]

WTF I walk in and this is on the tv again? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrtHJHu31FE

[Raceclimb]

Oh hey, this is Hemi....he organizes the CRI clean racing invitational

he's pretty squeaky clean, but one of the gang...

sometimes we even team up for special projects

here, this is one of our PRIVATE conversations

we didn't know we were being recorded at the time...

so virgin ears pls just keep going....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prRySgsgtnM

[Raceclimb]

Now don't be too concerned about the occasional driver "flare up" around here....

it has been known to happen....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DeWzYQOVoY

i would also like to piont out the phenomenal movve at EXACTLY 1:35 in this vid !!!!

[Raceclimb]

So if you will just folow me upstairs i will introduce you to a couple other rooms this club has to offer....

-click-

this is my lawer's office

it use to be mine

which is why it is completely sound-proofed

absolutely nothing said here can be heard by anyone else...

kinda' cool huh ?

DC: I'm not really sure why I have this document, is it relevant?
RC: Trust me, we're going to need to keep it !
DC: Can you tell me why?
RC: Nope...nobody's business but mine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDiB4rtp1qw

[mynameisjeff]

That looks like footage from last night. I was drunk but I think I remember throwing my helmet at someone.

[Raceclimb]

Ahh, yes....allow me to introduce my esteemed coleague Juggs...

it's hardly surprising to find him near Denny's office !

he seems to get himself in a fair amount of trouble....

but being as we now seem to have all four of the top "thread trolls" in our camp....

i would like to speak on behalf of all four of us to anyone thinking this might be a fun place to create grief !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mevxenJ6Mtc

[Raceclimb]

The next room is just down the hall...

it has a shiny brass plate

SURVIVAL TRAINING CLASS

i will be the first to admit, it's not usually a very funny place

and really it's not much as metaphors go

but i do use it to help novice Wreckers see the world through the eyes of Vetran Climbers

we know a thing or two about survival

and if you want to win out there...

better learn to survive

normally i speak in no non-sense terms

and allow NO debate

you know a better survival expert ?

good, go bug him / her

but

because this is only a tour...

i will tread lightly tonight....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3wTbsoC9k

but how could all of those people walked into such an obious death trap ?

were they stupid ?

or was it "just the way it is" ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PmLwJzQf94

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LaZPNfdAsc

i'm pretty sure i really don't need to say more

but you might want to....

i suggest to your local legistors

[Raceclimb]

Well that was kinda depressing....

Let's wander down to the bar for a drink, shall we ?

Now do you see that big bear of a man ?

He's our bartender

His name is Darryl Hatten

he's alot like this....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUk8OuF1C-A

and this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJquDGYxrmg

and this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IgM_8mcSA4

and these guys...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccyu44rsaZo

all rolled into one !

so careful what you say to him...

he's in charge of our debating club around here...

debates tend to be rather short...

and usually result in somebody being thrown through a wall !

[Raceclimb]

Sitting down at the bar Semi (as we affectionately call the the A5 master) hands me an elegant fine china bottle of Saki...

and procedes to hurl beers about the place at near lethal velocities...

cans

bottles

even half full mugs

It's just his way of being friendly...


If you notice there are several items proudly displayed on the bar...

they are symbols

There is the die cast madel of an 18-wheeler Semi Truck...

it's a symbol of how much the Wreckers love this maniac !

There is his chainsaw...

it's a symbol of well...

actually it's just his chainsaw, he digs it, ok ?

and then there is the skull...

it's a symbol of what this whole place was started for...

so finish up your drinks and i'll show you the best kept secret of all !

DH: Hey man, don't I git to say sometin' ?
RC: Sure man, if you like...

he inhales several cubic meters of air and bellows...

YER ALL GUNNA DIIIIEEEE !!!!

and with that he grabs the remote, cranks it up to 11

and plays us a song

DH: It's a mestaphor thingy...pretty subtle huh ?
DH: Heh, heh, heh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzjOE0RnIMc