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Listen servers do not broadcast their presence to the Id Master Server, which is what tells the internet where Quake 3 servers are located. They're generally intended for LAN play, though you can manually connect to one.
Dedicated servers can be set up for lan or internet play, depending on the value of "dedicated" as follows:
set dedicated 1: Runs a dedicated server but does not announce to the master server
set dedicated 2: Runs a dedicated server and announces to the master server
If you do run a dedicated server you can run another copy of Q3 and connect to it manually. You can do that by doing the following:
First start your dedicated server. Then at the command window, do the following:
set rconpassword something
map q3dm1
The rconpassword is IMPORTANT if you want to be able to give the server commands remotely. After doing this, start Q3A again. Then do this:
Press ~ to get the console
Type the following:
/connect 127.0.0.1
That IP address stands for "loopback", and it will ALWAYS connect to your own machine. It should bring you into Q3A on map q3dm1. To issue server commands you will need to do so as follows:
/set rconpassword something
You need to do that so your rconpassword matches the one you set on the dedicated server, or you won't be able to send commands.
/rcon timelimit 10
/rcon fraglimit 20
/rcon map q3dm12
The commands are the same, but you have to type /rcon in front of them.
Why bother with all of this? If you run a dedicated server you can leave your client session without killing the server, meaning you won't disconnect your friend. You don't have to run as a dedicated server but it is the only way the master server will be able to see your server if you intend to keep one running.
The big issue with running any server and getting someone else to see it or be able to connect to it is port forwarding and firewalls. If you are using a router for your internet connection then odds are it's using NAT, or Network Address Translation. This is where you have a local LAN IP address (eg, 192.168.0.100) and a WAN internet address that's actually assigned to the router. It would be something that does NOT start with 192 or whatever your router's LAN IP range is. In order to run a server and have someone else connect to it you have to program the router to forward any requests coming in on the port range that Quake 3 Arena uses to the computer that is hosting the server. I cannot guide you on that as every router model is different, so you'll need to refer to your instructions. The default port is 27960. If you don't know how to do this another option is to have your router set your machine up in DMZ. This exposes ALL your ports to the internet, so it's not the safest option, but it does allow traffic in without having to set a bunch of rules up. You will probably need to tinker with the Windows Firewall if you're running it. You can always turn it off and turn it back on later.
If you are not using a router and your computer is connected directly to the cable modem (or DSL or whatever you have) then you might be be able to avoid having to program port assignments. The best way to find out if you have ports open is to go here:
https://www.grc.com/x/ne.dll?bh0bkyd2
Click "Proceed". On the next screen, in the blank, type "27060", and click the button that says "user specified custom port probe". If it says FAILED, that means the port is open (which you want for hosting a server - in this case FAILED = GOOD). If it's not open then you're not going to be able to host without doing DMZ or programming port forwarding.
Let's say you program your router. The best way to test if your ports are working is to have your friend try to manually connect. First, you need to determine your WAN IP. If you linked to the site above it should tell you what that is. Then you need to do the following:
Start a multiplayer Q3 game on your computer.
Then have your friend do the following:
Open Q3A
Hit ~ to bring down a command console
type the following:
/connect xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx
Where xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx is YOUR WAN IP address. If he gets stuck at "Awaiting Challenge" for a long time it means he cannot connect and you'll need to fix your port forwarding.
Let me know if you need any additional help. I'll be happy to assist.
Unless you're on a university campus... in that case you're pretty much screwed. You could find an empty internet server and both join the same one... that would be your only option at that point.