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Do you have UPnP enabled or does your router even support UPnP? The option should be visible in Grim Dawn's Network tab. If it isn't then your router doesn't support it.
If that is the case then it might indeed be possible that Crates own matchmaking server is down somehow. Crate runs their own matchmaking server to supplement Steam's own and whenever Crate's server goes down people without UPnP capable routers then need to port forward in order to connect.
I'll just put this here (Common Multiplayer Issues and Solutions):
https://forums.crateentertainment.com/t/grim-dawn-common-issues-and-solutions/81943/3
All Crate employee's work from home (there is no central location). And I suspect all of them are fairly happy with their jobs. They got a pretty nice gig. 13 employees total currently and a pretty cool boss.
I've read many times that people have successfully used software like Hamachi with GD to run remote LAN connections. So it should work if you are using a similar program.
Does your friend also have UPnP enabled or port-forwarding configured so as to connect to you?
BUT maybe I'm wrong and there is another issue happening. I don't actually know, I can only assume based on previous times this has happened. Crate does generally bring this server back up in a timely manner.
Well then that's all I got.. works for me. Hopefully Zantai has seen this at least and double-checked on their matchmaking server.