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How you can avoid it:
1.Fight battles with a general from another family.
2.Send a character from another family on a diplomatic mission.
3.Promote a character from another family.
4.Secure loyalty, most of the time last option.
5.Doing things family likes, for example having cultural dominance. Some families will hate you if you don't have that.
Also if you want to prepare yourself for a civil war look at the overview where you can see the provinces that the families own. If there breaks a civil war out the family will take her province and her army's. If the family does not have a army, there will be a army spawned.
I always make sure each rival family general is given non-upgraded and obsolete units and is accompanied by two loyalist armies with top tier units.
When civil war comes along, I just "Order 66" them all in 1-2 turns.
Its that easy...
https://www.twcenter.net/forums/content.php?514-Total-War-Rome-II-Guide-to-Politics-the-Family-Tree
https://www.twcenter.net/forums/content.php?564-Rome-II-Guide-to-Politics-and-the-Family-Tree-How-to-Avoid-Secessions-and-Civil-Wars