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If you approach it from the perspective of another MMO, you'll tend to play it like that MMO (TMOT I've done it), and thus miss much of what's unique about LOTRO. Decide how you want to approach an MMO of depth and substance, and LOTRO will likely provide you with a way to do what you want to do. It's fairly unique in that way.
The people that play are some of the most dedicated and friendly people you'll ever meet in an MMO, bar none.
Rift: Is a great mmo nearly as good as lotro in my opinion the event system is alot better than gw2 i feel. Also the lore and music is nearly just as good and the community is quite friendly to from my experience and you can always join a group in quests. But.. its not as big as lotro and as immersive but still in the end its you're own preference to choose from. Or just play each from time to time its up to you. Combat is similar to lotro in the pace but I like how its fully your own creation in how your character fights a enemy.
SWTOR: is a great for story only and doing dungeons! (FlashPoints) but what they've done is for story towards the end you have to do some operations (raids) or Flashpoints to progress through the story and so.. you wait for ages for a group as eveyone will be ahead of you and so you're stuck like an idiot waiting for a group that won't come. They've added a solo option for the new expansion but you're only aloud to do it once as a solo mode and thats it.. so basically im stuck now waiting for a group which will never come so its wasted money for the expansion and other parts of the story.. But until that point it was a hell of alot of fun and I would continue now for story only until the end if it wasnt for that.
Lotro has the best lore and feel of an adventure in a MMO that i've ever played the world is huge and so there is so much to explore and see and to just feel like you're apart of middle earth. I wish lotro had a slight event system though, like orc's attacking keeps and castles as such. But for the journey and music and interesting story if you dont mind reading the text you're going to be in for a great adventure. Plus Lotro does have a very good community. To me LOTRO is strictly a PVE game but there is a PVPM option which is Players vs player monsters (orcs and such creatures). Combat can be slowish but its more of a traditional MMORPG but is still alot of fun. You may have to unlock a few things within your character with the store but it doesnt take away any fun from the game.
In my opinion choose LOTRO as there is so much to discover and people to bump into and kill some sort of monster in Middle Earth. Something unexpected will be found along the way.. Its Middle Earth dont forget mystery awaits.
Ill finish now as im sounding like a commercial :P
Edit: Just fully read your question now sorry :P only mention rift and swtor as i play that aswell from time to time. never played FFXIV but heard its good.
pretty much sum up what i dislike about guild wars 2, though i disagree on the luck part. WvW is basically who has the bigger blob but structured pvp can be quite fun if you have a good team. that said i still dislike the lack of trinity. thanks for all the info btw.
On the whole Lotro wins in story. I'm sure there's someone who's more into FF than I am, but while Lotro is taking place at the same time of the books/movies and follows suit. FFXIV as far as I know takes place 10 years after the last game (I think?) And in doing so they can just run with whatever they want as long as they remind us of the "Heroes of light" which saved everyone from the cataclysm a decade ago that literally nobody in the game remembers except that "They were saved by them, but we can't remember their names."
However FFXIV is a bit more action oriented and I find battles are usually a bit more quicker paced and more "fun" as when monsters have aoe/special attacks there's usually some visual marker where you can move out of the way. There's also more classes that benefit from "Backstab" and "Flanking" attacks where you need to keep moving behind/beside the monster in order to keep your damage output as high as possible. Lotro has Warden which is probably the most intricate class to any MMO I've ever seen, but he doesn't make up for the others.
As far as end game raids go they're roughly the same. They give difficulty and both have their own things to figure out.
Biggest difference is: Lotro is f2p
FFXIV is subscription
You can play Lotro until roughly 50ish completely free but you will eventually want to buy some expansions. If you really wanted you could grind out TP (Store currency) with your main/alts and buy the packs like that. All in all while people who pay do get a whole lot more perks you can buy everything they get with just some hard work and grinding.
FFXIV didn't have a store last time I played it, which might have changed but I don't think so.
Subscription isn't too high if I remember, but it does add up montly especially if you're not willing to spend too much money.
edit: The community is great for both games but I usually found the lesser savoury types on FFXIV.
Yea true just thought perhaps it's based on luck when i said but maybe more based on skill, mine lacks now and again :P and yea exactly WVW is just about who has the bigger blob of players sometimes I follow a small band of players and its fun but it doesnt last long.. but no problem just happy to add to the info that has been said :)