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https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1170574488
Kind of hard to see if it's a mod conflict without a log file, but looking at your list I noticed you have about 4 different versions of Upgraded Upgrades, you should only have the base one and the one that changes the upgrade level to what you want.
If it's another mod conflict, posting your log from trying to connect might help figure out what the problem is, although I honestly don't know much about multiplayer, don't know whose log it would have to be. To get that, right click Starbound in the library, then go to Properties, Local Files, Browse, open the Storage folder and look for a file that's either called "starbound.log" or just "starbound" depending on how you have it set up to display file names. Not any of the ones with numbers at the end like "starbound.log.1" Post it to Pastebin and link it here.
If you're starting a new playthrough, you both might want to go into the local files and just delete the storage folder entirely, it'll get rid of your old universe and characters and let the game generate a new universe without stuff from old mods in it. Copy it to somewhere else first if you plan on going back to the old one.
This one did kind of stand out to me:
[Error] Failed to valid player with uuid 2d027669d4a7f1f7df08437b66098718 : (StatusEffectDatabaseException) No such unique stat effect 'fucheatdeathhandler'
(Edit: Steam censored that, but it starts with FU, so probably something from Frackin Universe)
Did either of you have Frackin Universe installed at some point? That one adds a lot of stuff that's not safe to remove, you'd have to delete the old universe and characters to start over without it. Or it might also be because you're using Frackin Races, I'm not really sure how standalone FR works.
(i deleted the storage folder entirely)
https://pastebin.com/M4ydzNLE
Though I'm going to be honest, I don't know much about multiplayer issues, I was going by what I could see in the logs.