Gnome Genocide (In search of a Gnome Gun)

[Mieumieu]

If you want to skip the story and just get to the point, scroll down to the bottom where the "*** Explanation" starts, just after the cut lines.


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Stardate 7.29.2016.93010, a date that will live on in infamy.

For the few surviving Gnomes of the great Gnome Genocide of Alnitak Strand II, that day will be forever seared into their minds and history.

It was a cool Gnriday night on Alnitak Strand II, eventless and peaceful as always. Parents were relaxing for their long weekend, children were playing and laughing, all was well as it had been for thousands and thousands of years in the Alnitak system.

The ground shaking was the only warning something was different. Soon, the sounds of buildings crumbling would be competing with the voices of screaming death and crunching metal and life would never be the same for this out of the way planet.

There was no escape. No matter how deep and protected each Gnome village thought it was, it was crushed. The huge mechanical beasts that brought peace for so long were little more than children in the way of the life stomping demoness that ravaged through the planet.

They had never heard of such a sick, twisted killing machine in all of their recorded history. Not only did she carefully search out and crush each and every small Gnome house she could find, but she cheerfully ripped houses out of the ground and wore them on her head. Bloodied bodies of Gnomes still inside the building squished up against her enormous face, as she made a hat out of the historical National Building that had stood for generations.

Most of the survivors didn't have it much better. Those that lived that she collected, she was gleefully hurling through the air to the sounds of their panicked death wails.

It seemed like it would never end, like no Gnome would escape alive. The entire planet nearly collapsed in on top of itself as she ravaged every bit of the ground looking for more Gnome villages to crush.

The destruction went on for weeks. Then one day as suddenly as she appeared, she vanished, leaving behind a legacy of nearly an entire race of people destroyed and homeless.

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*** Explanation - I found these Gnome Villages underground and went to look them up on the wiki. I saw that I could loot a Gnome Gun there, so I spent forever destroying Gnome houses looking for a Gnome Gun.

I got an inventory full of various house hats, gnome hats (both made by Gnomes, and another kind made of Gnomes), and thousands of "Gnome Balls" (little Gnome people which scream when you throw them, hilarious). But no Gnome Gun :( It must be a pretty rare drop.

I was destroying hundreds of houses for a very very long time. My mind was wandering to the story lore of how I was commiting genocide of these Gnome people. I started to imagine in my mind all the death I was causing, and hearing quotes from evil people in history talking about how excessive my killing was :P

Sigh. So much time, so many crushed Gnome lives, and no Gnome Gun yet. I shall have to find another planet with Gnomes to ravage :D


*Edit - Changed one very gramatically incorrect word.

[Cake for Mumm-Ra]

I think these gnome settlements must be fairly common at least near gentle and eccentric stars. I was doing lots of mining last night and kept find these. They're great for ore hunting, actually cause everything is so well lit.

Good luck with your search. I know it's for a good cause.

[Distortedatom]

lol and too think I was feeling bad because I had to squash some. They were ontop of some ore.

[ehyder]

I was hoping I was not the only one riddled with guilt for bringing on the gnome apocalypse.

[Hoshikudaki]

Originally posted by ehyder:

I was hoping I was not the only one riddled with guilt for bringing on the gnome apocalypse.

It's worse when you start using Ball of Gnomes as a weapon.

[Distortedatom]

It was horrible. I tried throwing one of the balls as a release them sort of thing except I acidently hit one of their buildings. Later on I had to fight with some monsters in the middle of the town. I got an accidental genicide going on.

[Agent Orange]

KEEM NO!

[Aro]

When I go modded this will totally be one of the things included...
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=735909966&searchtext=gnome

[awal]

I have never seen any Gnome villages (I have not been playing so much). But I found a Gnome gun (the handheld gnome that fires a rainbow colored ray) in a chest inside a hostile Glitch castle. At first I thought that weapon was awesome but soon I found better weapons and now I never use it.

[Randolph Cherrypepper]

I started collecting gnome balls. See, I might be crushing their homes, their hopes, their dreams, but really, it's just an elaborate relocation strategy. They'll enjoy living in stasis inside my ship's locker. No giant robots will terrorize them in my ship's locker, after all.

PSA: Please don't throw balls of gnomes. Gnomes are people too! I mean unless it's an emergency, after all you can't save all the gnomes if you are dead. Or if you're trying to show gnomes to your friends, to increase awareness of the cause. Sometimes a few gnomes will perish during the display. It's all for the greater good of Gnomekind!

[Randolph Cherrypepper]

Btw I've never seen house hats nor guns. Just balls of wonderfully fearful gnomes. I drink their tears. It takes a LOT of gnome tears to fill an Apex mug.

[The Actual Column South]

What were the coorfinates?

[PolyKnoll]

Wow i didnt even know the gnome gun was that much of a deal.
I didnt even have to find a gnome house for it
(never seen one)

[The Actual Column South]

Originally posted by Bobbles The Pugtato:

Wow i didnt even know the gnome gun was that much of a deal.
I didnt even have to find a gnome house for it
(never seen one)

If you dig underground you can find gnome houses every now and then. They're difficult to find.

[QuaestComm]

For those reading this thread in April 2017 and later, the Gnome Gun is no longer found by destroying structures in gnome villages. Rather, it is a rare find in chests and containers on Risky and Dangerous threat level planets (though it appears most often in a dungeon's rare chest).

Also, if you clear an Ancient Vault, you can upgrade the Gnome Gun if you have enough materials for it.