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The Multiplayer part is more about building a world together, showing eahc other the worlds or making a band!!! Most important thing of them all.
So the multiplayer serves more RPG reasons than anything else in SB. There neither cool PvE nor boss battles for multiplayers.
-Every RPG ever
Community house! Wait, who took of this resource?!
-Every RPG ever
Everything benefits one person and not more? Welcome to Human Nature. Greed, steal, hoarde, throw in some revenge and you have every modern "multiplayer" game ever. Co-op doesnt benefit everyone. Most of the time one person is benefitting more, or is ahead because of something they got to first. Most of the time its up to you and your friends to decide you want to help eachother. Got something you dont want? Offer it. Collect enought resources for two... delegate tasks for better effiency... The game doesnt FORCE cooperation. Cooperation is possible through... cooperation.
To the OP have you played Terraria? It was the first game like this I played and I played it with 3-6 friends originally. It was a lot of fun because we spread out in different areas and made our own houses and tunnels and such. Though all of my friends we'd gamed together in other stuff (City of Heroes) first and were all (mostly) of a co-opy mindset. That is, if there's something in someone else's boxes, you can grab what you need, replace it later. ('Don't be a jerk' rule of thumb.)
I guess it boils down to playing with nice people (helps to already have peeps you know like that), and be willing to pool resources together and not be greedy. I'm definitely a fan of the 'go out and mine/forage/etc and then come back and store stuff for use' tactic. Can even divide labor up between tasks if someone, say, wants to focus on building and the other would rather spelunk.
Just some playstyle suggestions to help mitigate frustrations.