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It's good to stay at 10 active humanity 'cuz you get the most dmg out of chaos weapons and most item find. More than 10 active humanity is not necessary.
Later in the game, Humanity isn't that rare to find. There are places where you can farm it, and all bosses drop twin humanities. But early in the game, you'll want to be selective about which bonfires you kindle. Generally early in the game, you'll want to save the humanity items and only use the humanity that you've directly accumulated. But don't stick to that too strictly. The first thing you need to know about a Souls game is that there is no "right" way to play. Do what you have to in order to survive and progress. And have fun.
Also, if you feel like needing more estus yes, upgrade the bonefire, you'll always have the chance to get more humanity and the're almost only to upgrade bonefires and summon people.
Only you then add the humanity to the counter you loose when you die (and completely if you die again before reaching your death point), of course, so add that to the consideration.