*SPOILERS* Funny quotes

[PanicButton]

Proceed at your own risk...spoilers ahead.

Post some of your favorite lines...


Joker leaving Barbara paralized in her house:
"Just wait until your father gets home, he's going to be furious about this mess."

Random thug on the street trying to be funny:
"So Bruce Wayne is Batman....Who's running support for him? His Butler?"

Batman interrogating riddler informant:
"There's two ways we can do this. Both gonna hurt."


These may not be exact quotes, since i only written them from memory.

[xsys]

Thug: "Scarecrow's got a tank. Batman's got a tank. Where's my tank!"

[Big Phil]

Riddler after batman solves a riddle (rough estimation of what was said):
"that was only check, soon we will mate... I was talking about chess you bubbling buffoon!"

[Reaperscout]

Don't remember the exact line but I'll try to write it the best I can.

Thug: "I've been in Arkham Asylum, Blackgate, and Arkham City. Never saw/fought Batman once."

That's my cue to drop down and fight the thug that said it. Plus in my head as Batman: "You have now, or you are about to in about 3 seconds.."

[Stormspark]

This one is from Arkham City, but I thought it was hillarious. When you enter the museum for the first time, there are a group of thugs behind a locked gate. I'll have to paraphrase because I don't remember the exact words, but one of them says "This gate is the latest from Waynetech. I hear it was designed by Bruce Wayne himself! You'll never get through it!"

[Paradox999]

I have two favorites.
They're most likely not spot on, but they're something along these lines xD

Thug: So I heard ACE Chemicals blew up.
Thug 2: Really? Aren't we supposed to be seeing some green, toxic fear gas?
Thug: Maybe it's like a metaphor...The fear gas was in our hearts all along.
Thug 2: That's beautiful, man.

And my second favorite was from the one and only Joker:

"Hey, Bats! I was just hangin' out in hell- you know, cuz you killed me and sent me there- and you'll never guess who I saw. Your dead girlfriend, Talia Al Ghoul! She said she's fine with Cat-lady having a go on the ol' scratching post. She also said, "Ow, ow! Is this the bullet in my sternum, OR A BROKEN HEART?!"

[Roast Goose]

I loved hearing the thugs trying and failing to intimidate Nightwing.

Thug 1: Hey, ease up. Boss wants this one alive.
Thug 2: You hear that, Nighwing? We're gonna keep you alive to suffer for a little longer.
Nightwing: More stimulating conversation. Great...
Thug 2: Oh please! Lemme hit him!
Thug 1: Hey!! What did I just say!?
Thug 2: I know, I know. The boss wants him alive. But his face! It's just so... auuugh, hittable!!

[sidewinder_G]

Oh there are tons of these in the entire trilogy. Most of them come from the characters but there are also some gems in the thug discussions.

Arkham Asylum:

After being subjected to fear gas for the first time, Joker is heard on the PA system: 'Tell me Bats. What are you really scared of? Failing to save this cesspool of a city? Not finding the Commissioner in time? Me, in a thong?'

Batman's response to Dr.Chen's 'it's a trap': 'I know. Just not for me !'

Thugs standing around talking while you are heading to another section of the island, with one of them telling them to shut up cause it's an ambush.

Arkham City:

Catwoman saying she is voting for a stay of execution at the courthouse with Two Face. The line is so, SO cheesy it just makes me laugh.

Thugs doing an impersonation of Harley and Joker: 'OH, Mistah J, please hoit me some moa !'

'Ok my dear, why don't you go and fight Batman while I making darrrring escape !'

Joker's great play of words when you first run across him and he says there is plenty wrong with him. 'Take my blood, example. I wish somebody would.'

Batman's each and every line of dialogue when he interrogates a Riddler informant.

[PanicButton]

Originally posted by sidewinder_G:

Catwoman saying she is voting for a stay of execution at the courthouse with Two Face. The line is so, SO cheesy it just makes me laugh.

Batman: "Objection!"
Two Face: *shoots batman "Overruled"
The same level of cheese is present here :D


This is a good one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qFsCtJeWno

[Frag Maniac]

Joker

"Oh bats I've missed you. All the subtlety and nuance of a napalm e nema."

"They're probably talking about all the rug bats they're going to have."

Thugs on street

"Let's go loot some costumes at the department store."

[MrJAG]

How about when after the story, everyone knows Batman is Wayne, some thugs start saying something along the lines of: (I'm paraphrasing)

Oh no, here comes the Wayne-Mobile!

He might get us with his "Wayne-arangs!"

[LEFEC]

Originally posted by Nico2811:

the joker to batman after he doesnt tell tim about barbara (yet)

"I thought for sure you were going to tell him. Come clean like you did with Gordon. But you realized: why break him now, when we can crush him later"

And the rest:It's CLASSIC Joker! Something truly beautiful is happening bats.

[Wezilla]

I love all quotes in all Batman Arkham series some em too funny that make me giggle...

[lucasj1210]

Origins Cold Cold Heart DLC:
thug talking about Mr. Fries
'so what is he?.......a human popsicle or something?"

[Wezilla]

Originally posted by lucasj1210:

Origins Cold Cold Heart DLC:
thug talking about Mr. Fries
'so what is he?.......a human popsicle or something?"

LOLOLOLOL

[Machu]

"What the? Why has everything gone dark? Are we dying? We better not be dying, Bruce!"

"I've sat through my own funeral already, now I have to go through the whole thing again?! Thanks for nothing!"