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I'd say either a Fighter - Vanguard or a Paladin. Both have a VERY good chance at getting a good 2 handed weapon drop from the inside the village quests so you're starting out with a good damage dealing weapon, lot more hitpoints for the fighters and for the Paladin you have a limited self heal ability with the 'laying on the hands' spell they get.
From what little I've seen here and the more over on the Official Forums, there's a good chance you'll have the opportunity to try out some different builds as you work through your deaths.
Take it slow, be cautious and take advantage of all the others playing to group. Good Luck.
Lol. Right. Nobody focuses on DPS in DDO. Nobody believes that the best way to avoid being damaged is to put the mobs down as quickly as possible. You sound like you read all the Wiki, but have never actually played with real people. All of what you have said is correct. And yet, if you do all of it at the expense of DPS, you'll die quickly. Dead mobs do no damage.
In fact, there's another 'defense' that's also more critical than all the ones you quoted: Crowd Control. Given the right combination of DPS and CC, most mobs will never have a chance to do you damage, and all the other defenses will go largely unused.
Further, if you're playing in a group, if one person maxes a combination of damage-reduction abilities and aggro-generating ones (becomes a tank), the rest of the group can put a lot less focus on defenses and more on CC & DPS. In effect, a tank is your third line of defense. And all three come before any of the ones mentioned above.
In conclusion, how much effort you need to invest into your defenses depends a lot on how you play and with whom. If you solo, you'll have to invest in defenses, because bosses are usually impossible to CC and won't generally go down quickly. On the other end of the scale, if you run in a static group you can designate a tank, CC, healer if required, and DPS and each can modify their investment in defenses accordingly. If you PUG, it's a bit of a crapshoot every adventure, so don't neglect your defenses too much. But in any case, DPS is critical and insta-kills are the king of DPS.
And yet again: self-proclaimed as more intelligent than the rest of us, but constantly leaps to conclusions. I don't play DDO on/from Steam. Never have. The evidence that I do is exactly the same as the evidence that you do (being here on these forums). I joined the forums here when Steam started carrying DDO.