RTMI HISHE *spoilers*

[tsandl]

Return to Monkey Island: How it Should Have Ended

To everyone who was as disappointed in the ending as I was: Do you think you could do better? I would like to read other people's ideas about how they would have ended this game. I'm going to post my own idea below.

I'm attempting to do something that stays fairly true to Gilbert's vision, but feels more complete and satisfying. You're free to write what you want, of course. It can be a whole script or just a simple summary. I'll welcome feedback and suggestions for my idea, but mostly I'm interested in original ideas, so it might be best if you'd write yours out before you read mine.

Let's keep the discussion civil. To anyone who just wants to insult or belittle me or any other contributors, I have only one thing to say: How appropriate, you write like a cow.

[tsandl]

Guybrush enters the final puzzle room just as LeChuck is walking through the puzzle door.

LeChuck: You're too late, Threepwood! You'll never be able to follow me through here. And even if you could, your simple mind could never survive the horrors that lie beyond!

The door closes behind LeChuck after he walks through. Guybrush eventually solves the puzzle and follows. He emerges in the alley behind the church at Melee Island. You direct him to High Street, and a cutscene begins.

Guybrush: No! Noo! Not this again! [Cut to an amusement park version of Melee Island complete with animatronic versions of the characters from the game.] It's a theme park! No! I must be dreaming! This is a nightmare. I've got to get out of here, but I can't move! Why can't I move?

A bespectacled man in tan shorts and a black T-shirt with a skull on it walks up behind Guybrush and puts his hand on his shoulder. He speaks with Murray's voice.

Murray: We meet again, Guybrush, but this time, I am in complete control. [He pushes Guybrush's back.]

Guybrush receives the following dialogue choices:
1. M-Murray? Is that you?
2. What's going on?
3. I'm scared!
Regardless of which he chooses, he responds with one of his catchphrases in a cheerful tone.
1. I'm Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate.
2. I'm selling these fine leather jackets.
3. Look behind you, a three-headed monkey!
When all dialogue choices have been exhausted, Murray speaks again.

Murray: I tire of your endless prattle.I've got you all fixed up now; it's time to put you back where you belong.

Human Murray picks up Guybrush, who is now revealed to be an animatronic, and places him on one of the tracks. For a time, Guybrush simply moves back and forth between a table with the new pirate leaders, and the Voodoo lady sitting in her chair. Bits of dialogue from the animatronic characters are audible, most prominently, LeChuck's as he tries to wrest the key from Locke Smith with one hand while holding the chest in his other.

Guybrush: No, no no. What is happening? This can't be real!

Voodoo Lady: Reality wears many faces, Guybrush.

Guybrush: Corrine? Are you here too?

Voodoo Lady: We are all here, Mr. Threepwood, and we are all... elsewhere. You are a pirate in a secret chamber in the deepest bowels of Monkey Island, and you are an attraction in a theme park beloved by millions. Both are true, Guybrush. Neither is any more or less real than the other.

Guybrush: I'm beloved by millions? Me?

Voodoo Lady: Well, I was speaking generally, but your adventures have brought mild amusement to a few thousand, at least.

Guybrush: Gee, thanks. Well, what am I supposed to do now?

Voodoo Lady: Fulfill your quest, Guybrush. I kept the Secret of Monkey Island hidden from you before because your mind was not yet ready to encounter this plane of existence, but now you possess everything you need to complete your journey.

The inventory icon reappears, and the player is once again able to access Guybrush's inventory. He is able to throw most of the items at several control switches on the walls which will change the motions of the characters on the tracks. The items he throws will land in places where they can be picked up again, and there will also be an assortment of items he can grab around the attraction, including a hook he can take from one of the pirates. After some trial and error, he is able to switch places with LeChuck, and easily obtain the key from Locke Smith. After some more clever manouvering, he is able to bring himself within reach of LeChuck and the chest. If the player clicks on LeChuck, Guybrush will engage in dialogue, and LeChuck will respond based on the player's selections, showing that he is also consicous of his surroundings. He mocks Guybrush's efforts to obtain the chest. If the player clicks on the chest, Guybrush will attempt to grab it, but LeChuck will punch him, sending him careening to the other end of the track before moving back to LeChuck at the normal speed. After a few failed attempts, Guybrush will complain his animatronic hands aren't very good at grasping things. If the player uses the hook on the chest, Guybrush will replace his hand with the hook and use that to grab the chest. LeChuck will punch him as before, but Guybrush will come away with the chest.

LeChuck: THREEPWOOOOD!!!

With the extra weight of the chest, Guybrush does not stop at the end of the track, but flies off and lands on the ground. Human Murray walks over and picks him up.

Murray: You have failed me for the last time, Guybrush. I'm going to see you burn for this. Burn, I say! *sigh* You're going to make me spend the whole weekend fixing you, aren't you? I just know I'm going to wind up missing the Ewok cosplay at Comic-Con again. *grumble*

Human Murray takes Guybrush back to the alley and tosses him into the back door of the church. He slams the door and walks away in disgust. Back inside the chamber under Monkey Island, Guybrush is restored to his human form, and the player is able to use the key on the chest.

Guybrush: At last! I can't believe it. This is finally it! [He opens the chest, pulls out a T-shirt, and reads the front] "I found the Secret of Monkey Island, and all I got was this stupid T-shirt." *sigh* [cut to park bench]

Boybrush: Daaad! That's a stupid ending. After all you went through, it can't just be a stupid T-shirt. C'mon! Tell me for real this time. What is the Secret of Monkey Island?

Guybrush is presented with several dialogue options:

1. That's the truth!

Guybrush: I'm just telling you what really happened. I can't change that.

Boybrush: Dad! You change the endings to your stories all the time. I bet the next time you tell this one, you'll pick a different answer.

Guybrush: Well yes, stories are meant to be fun, but real life is disappointing sometimes. Some secrets are better left undiscovered. But real life is also more exciting: Most stories follow pretty predictable patterns, but in life, anything can happen! You just have to try your hardest and make the most of what you're given. Speaking of which, I see your Mom's coming back, How about we all go for a ride on The Flying Dutchman, next?

Boybrush: Yeah! Now you're talking!

The game ends. During the credits, we see pictures of Guybrush, Elaine, and Boybrush enjoying the amusement park as a family. Several of the game's characters appear as other guests and park employees.

2. Treasure!

Guybrush: Oh all right. The chest was full of gold and jewels of incalculable value. A few of the least valuable gems were all I needed to completely fund the repairs on Melee Island. I was declared a hero! I sold a few more and used them to buy this theme park. Most of our family's wealth comes from that now, so I buried the rest of the treasure on an uncharted island. When you're a little older, I'll let you go look for it.

Boybrush: I knew it! I'm going to be the richest, mightiest pirate who ever sailed!

The game ends. During the credits, we see pictures of Boybrush hunting the treasure. The pictures echo scenes from this and earlier Monkey Island games.

3. A cliche!

Guybrush: The real secret was the friends we made along the way.

Boybrush: Daad! That's such a hokey, grown-up ending. Boring!

Guybrush: *Chuckles* Well, maybe so, but it's true you know. All the gold and jewels in the world can't buy a true friend, but I've made a lot of them. And you and your Mom are the most precious of them all. I wouldn't trade you for anything.

Boybrush: Yeah. I love you too, Dad. *pauses* But that's still a terrible way to end a story! [Guybrush laughs.]

The game ends. During the credits, we see pictures of characters from the game working together to rebuild Melee Island after the earthquake. Even LeChuck's crew are seen lending a hand. LeChuck and the new pirate leaders are nowhere to be seen, of course.

4. A video game!

Guybrush: OK, OK, I'll tell you the REAL truth. Inside the chest there was a box, and inside the box was a video game from the year 1990. It turns out our entire existence is nothing but a computer simulation created by advanced three-dimensional beings for their own entertainment! You know, I'd always wondered why everything seemed to get more high-res as time went on.

Boybrush: Daaaad! Now you're just being weird. I don't know why I listen to you. I'm going to go find Chuckie. [Guybrush laughs.]

The game ends. During the credits, we see photos of the game production crew during development of this game and (if possible) photos from earlier games.


After credits scene:

Guybrush is seated alone on the park bench. Human Murray walks up behind him and clears his throat.

Murray: Mr. Threepwood, sir? Sorry to bother you boss, but your animatronic on the Melee Island set has broken down again. I'm afraid it's going to take several days to fix this time.

Guybrush: Don't sweat it, Murray. I had a feeling that was going to happen. You've been working hard. Get some rest, and you can come back to it Monday morning. In the meantime, I'll give our guests a special treat and play the role myself. They love it when I do that! Take that, LeChuck!

Murray: Why thank you, Mr. Threepwood, that's very kind. I...

Guybrush: Don't mention it Murray. Enjoy your cosplay.

Murray: How did you...!? Ummm... Thank you, Mr. Threepwood. [Murray exits]

Guybrush: Heh.

The screen cuts to black, but after a while, there is a squeaking sound, and we fade in to the Melee Island theme park set. All the other animatronics have been shut off for the night, but we see LeChuck slowly rolling toward the end of the track where he knocked Guybrush off. He reaches the end and falls over on the ground. The screen cuts to black again, and then returns to the main menu.