Weirdest thing that ever happened to you in game?

[Daddy ♥♥♥ Cannon]

One time, I married my son to some dumb bimbo courtier of mine, then I get a message saying that said Courtier 'fancies me'. So, I go to her Chamber, have sex with her, then impregnate her. So not only did I have an affair with my daughter-in-law, but I also got her pregnant. What's funny is, my son never knew.

[tigeltoN]

with the new DLC i had sex with every girl i could until i had almost 50 legitmised bastard kids with claims to almost every cathloic land in the game and since i was playing as the republic of venice i was basically had a new ruler ever 2 years since everyone kept on dieing.

Basically i repeated this for a long time

[Blue Knight™]

a fully Muslim Spain in the William the Conquer start , it might have seen more but thats about the best i can think of :p

[Bazil]

So this happened in a long term multiplayer game I had with my friends.

So over the course of the game I had become the king of Ireland and Scotland along with most of Wales, my friends were my two strongest vassals. Now one day my guy is hanging out and he gets a message that there was a chance for an affair. Now at the time I was playing a lustful lunatic so I decided to go ahead and go for it.

Later it turned out that I had had sex with and impregnated the wife of one of my friends, who just so happened to be my strongest vassal. So of course he exposes me (he wanted to weaken me so he could try a coup later, which never materialized because of a later war against a Norse invasion that weakened him to the point that there was no point) and I have to deal with the bastard.

Well at the time I'm not sitting on a huge amount of children so I go ahead and legitimize him so I can have him as a buffer between myself and being knocked out of the game. Since I have an elective succession it's no big problem for me as he won't be stealing any of my main titles.

Now here is where things get interesting. My friend whose wife I had sex with demanded that he be allowed to educate him so I went ahead and let him because it was funny at the time. The important thing to keep in mind is that my friend apparently bore me no spite and raised him to have some of the highest natural stats I've seen in any character across the board. We're talking nothing less than 10 and mostly high teens with an absurd martial.

Well at the time I was more interested in setting up bonds with kingdoms around me that would be able to help me out if I ever went to war with England in order to solidify my control over Brittania so I didn't notice how strong my Bastard was getting.

Now far earlier in the game I had made an alliance with Asturias by marrying into their family and over time we had become very heavily related. Now because I had just married into the family for conveniences sake and had married someone who wasn't really in close line for succession I didn't think much of it at the time.

Now as many people know, life expectancy for characters in spain is pretty low and so most of the family line out there ended up being slaughtered for one reason or another and eventually the heir to the kingdom of Asturias ended up in my court after fleeing. It was a little girl and I didn't really think much about it at the time because I was inexperienced and assumed she had fled there because of our alliance. Seeing an opportunity to get my dynasty into a position of power I ended up bethrothing my bastard to her and then pressing her claim on the kingdom of Asturias.

Eventually I ended up winning the war for her and set her up as the Queen, where she reigned for many years right up until she and my bastard reached marrying age at which point I married them and sent the problem child off.

What I didn't count on though was the fact that she was actually first cousins with my bastard through some convoluted chain of relationships. I only realized this after a few more years of game time when I check in on their relationship to see if I needed to touch up on any alliances.

So in the end there are several key points to take away from that;

1. My bastard was a badass but also hated me and every single person in my family because of how he had been treated and his position.

2. He was now King of Asturias since he had married the Queen.

3. The Queen was his first cousin and because they were so closely related all their children were of my dynasty.

Now, that is pretty complicated and a bit of an odd situation to be in, but things got worse.

So as I had established my son was a raging badass and a zealot. The guy had the highest marital skill in the world during the time he was alive and also had one of the highest intrigues. This made him a major threat no matter how you slice it and I was always worried about what he might try and do.

What I didn't expect him to do was to produce three sons with genetic defects but still stupidly high martial scores, declare war on every muslim in spain and then procede to conquer all of Spain and parts of Africa in a massive holy war. In the time it took me to get into position to try and take the English Crown he had already formed the Empire of Hispania, which I have never seen an AI successfully do.

Making matters worse is that somehow he had become the leader of the Knights Templar and to have somehow married into about half of the good Catholic families in the world for alliances.

So from that small beggining and from me not paying enough attention to my family we ended up seeing an Ambitious Crusading Bastard King who had a claim on my lands, and an army to actually take them and whom I could never actually manage to kill because of his high intrigue.

What proceeded from this was one of the most hilarious tense periods of game time as everyone in my kingdom tried to avoid pissing him off enough to get him to declare war on us. Thankfully the guy seemed more interested in murdering Muslims than taking over his fathers empire.

TL;DR Keep track of everyone who is related to you, bad things can happen.

[Volus_dude]

My current dude.


He saw nymph at the rose bush. Gave good tumble to her and took her in the court. He was crazy like owl (finally).


After the encounter with nymph. He set his sight to more tougher challenge.

Seeking love and company. He started to fancy his sisters.

He hold a greaat feast and ones of his courtiers was on fire. So was he...



After a while all looked good until the stress of keeping all the sisters happy was too much and the poor dude, kicked the bucket becaause of stress.

[Harmonica]

Eirikr of Hordaland was raiding in northern Africa and Spain. On the return voyage, we stopped in at Navarra, which was undefended and stuffed full of loot. In the melee, I captured a beautiful young martial's daughter, Plazentzia, ten years my junior, on one of our pillaging expeditions. I took her back to my dungeon at home, and soon she became a member of my court, and I fell in love with her.

Although it would have broken my heart, I offered to ransome her back to her father every year but her father wanted nothing to do with her. I grew to despise the bastard, for his daughter was beautiful and wise and he was greedy and spiteful and didn't care about her.

For her part, she did not love me, even as she was raised in the ways of the Norsemen, and after I legitimised her and married her, though her anger at her imprisonment and abduction waned through the years. It grew to be a highly functional relationship. She became my advisor (Equality mod ftw), and we had many beautiful children together.

Events down south in the hot countries being what they are, many wars were being fought over every title, and so it happened that her father had worked himself into a position of power thanks to a no doubt fabricated claim. When he died off I knew that I must take it upon myself to raise an army and enforce Plazentzia's claim for Navarra.

So it was in the year 900, several thousand men sailed south and took the fight to the Sutan of Navarra who was already stuck in a four way tussle for his domain. For three years we pounded away at his kingdom, fighting guerilla warfare and grinding down the defenders, until we were victorious. Queen Plazentzia I was installed on the throne, my absentee wife and my queen, with a court of norse children and their entourage.

...she ruled for about six months before she was usurped by some baldy bastard Spaniard.

I had to to take her as my concubine again in order to get her out of jail.

She pretty much hated me for this forever, until my dying days :(

Mine and her children all turned against me. When I died, her children inherited the throne.

[ExisT]

Brilliant stories my friends.
Thats one of the amazing things of this game, is the crazy and sometimes hilarious stories that can and will happen.

Some things from my current primary game(Ireland 1270s, 1066 start):

Kingdom of Sicily is restricted to only a single barony in byzantion and is independent

Through some clever vassal transfers my vassal pope had a vassal antipope. Dissappeared after I unpaused though.

Muslim world is in fractured chaos and has been for centuries; the Ilkhanate would have conquered them all, but it converted to sunni and is getting pounded by the golden horde

Empire of Tartaria was sandwhiched between golden horde and Byzantines

Miaphysiate Armenia and Orthodox Byazntines are roflstomping muslims into extinction

Aztec invasion was crushed by Irish armies led by yours truly

Norse still exists and is raiding me periodically lmao but i just let them be.

My dynasty is getting bad inbred traits because my main line married and intermarried into the HRE line every generation for alliances early in the game. Now, majority of western Europe is decended from these lines and negative gene traits are becoming common everywhere(oops... my bad)

The only crusade I didnt win kicked the muslims out of spain, and now christains have conquered half of Africa

Sultanate of Mali is a Sunni heresy stronghold and has been left untouched for a fews centuries now.

Majority of the world is co-owned by large dynasties like my own, and now conflicts are becoming BRUTAL(think World War I style, how the entire world got drawn in through alliances). I think the last centruy or so of the game will get very exciting.

[jarl]

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=363107280

Not the strangest, but something strange that happened few days ago. Somehow the catholic faith completely crumbled. It got worse a few years later when Rome and some nono counts lost a crusade versus west francia. I did not had any doings in it either, playing a slavic nub.

[Nocturnal]

Originally posted by Jarl:

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=363107280

Not the strangest, but something strange that happened few days ago. Somehow the catholic faith completely crumbled. It got worse a few years later when Rome and some nono counts lost a crusade versus west francia. I did not had any doings in it either, playing a slavic nub.

Haha, that's awesome!

[Aristocats]

I had the same thing happen with the Waldensain faith. The entire Empire of Francia (Charlemagne start) converted leaving myself (Engalnd + Ireland) and Scotland as the sole remaining Catholics in the game.