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once you know how to conquer your neighbour. (gee one county lol)
You can form the kingdom of iceland.
Then slowly learn from there on all the options, before you start somewhere in europe or even more the hectic England who is a mess of diseases tribal wars etc.
When you get bored start a new game and take what you learned and see if it is helping you.
Infact if you understand the principle about the game. try find a location that is safe under a liege. and expand slowly and slowly.
No need to rush being a Emperor or King, take your time and slowly learn the game.
I eventually came back, just to play a quick game as a Castilian noble. Well, 200 hours later, I've been awed by the game. I'm still learning nuances about game mechanics. Heck, I haven't even played a non-Christian character yet.
You enjoyment of the game is self-directed. You can take over the whole world, or simply be content to end a game when you've risen from a lowly count to king through your ruthless use of plots, religion, and medieval law.
If you're a fan of history, you might enjoy role-playing as various historical figures. I played a fun game where I created the infamous 'Charles the Bad' of Navarre, a man whose life, and especially death, is a fascinating read. Unlike the real Charles, though, I was able to sieze the throne of France (or rather, his mother was- go figure).
Try different areas of the map, different playstyles. You will find something you like.
A. This game is Family/Dynasty Manager, not a wargame. The goal is not expansion or building a successful kingdom/empire, that stuff is just part of the game being in a medieval setting. Devs should make kingdoms and empires hard to manage and focus more on family/dynasty stuff.
B. There are too many parts of the game about empire management (rather than family), that this game basically is a wargame with an in-build dynastic system. Devs should focus more on big empires/kingdoms because the game became more than The Sims 5: Feudalism.
Understanding this dialogue (very simplified) between the sides can help you understand the game much better. It is desirable and fun to build a large empire, unite your lands and all that. However it isn't really "the focus" of the game. The focus is really about dynastic management, family building, etc. So you don't have to have a good kingdom, per se. Just try to survive and learn the game. There is a lot to learn but once you learn it, you will be good to go.
Many people like to perform a few things on the Family side:
1. Breeding Heirs. This involves finding wives/concubines with traits like Strong, Genius, Attractive, and hopefully a really good educational trait like Midas Touched, Elusive Shadow or Grey Eminience. Scholarly Theologian is undesirable in a wife because it reduces fertility.
(If you get brothers you want to remove from succession threat, marry them to a Scholarly Theologian because of the reduced fertility. Also land them in a temple).
2. This means you need such a wife for each male, so that 3-4 generations down the line, you can have a row of strong geniuses.
Now, while some traits (good and bad) are inherited by your heirs, others come from "Education." You want your primary heir to be educated by a Brilliant Strategist, or a Midas Touched, depending on if you want your next character to be all about war or peace. Your other potential heirs, educate with a Scholarly Theologian because it reduces their fertility. You also want to make sure the people educating your heirs have traits you want. Good traits can help build a strong heir, bad traits can help build people nobody will like (which helps remove them from succession). Education can also determine the culture, and religion.
Some people marry a good woman to produce 2-3 heirs, then divorce or kill the wife and marry some 50 year old woman who won't produce "more threats" but instead, contribute a lifetime of ability scores to your realm bonus.
On the Empire side:
1. Make gold buildings before military or other ones.
2. Own the county, duchy and kingdom of your primary capital holding.
3. Develop your own directly held holdings. Don't upgrade vassal holdings.
4. You have Count A and Count B. Give Count A a barony in Count B's lands, and give Count B a barony in Count A's lands. Now, find 2 dukes in your kingdom and do the same. Give Duke A a county in Duke B's land, and Duke B a county in Duke A's land.
This weakens your vassals and makes them hate each other as much as, or more than, they hate you, or will hate your heir upon succession. If one of them becomes powerful enough to threaten you, eat the hate and revoke their dukedom.
5. Your good vassals are your friends, but in time Game Events can give them bad traits, which can cause them to not like you or your heir. Try to look at your Heirs traits before succession, and get people with similar, like minded traits into the court.
6. Don't recruit a large court! Marry people off. The more people in your court, the more people to plot against you. If you marry off someone who likes you to another court you wish to plot in, that person will probably join your plots because they like you.
These are just a few tips relating to empire and dynasty. Don't try to expand and conquer too much. Understand your succession law, and government type. If you start in Elective Gavelkind, your ONE JOB is to get out of that before succession. If you cannot, then know this ahead of time so you can act accordingly: Gain little land, divorce your wife for an older woman so your heir has no real threats, have vassals your son will like. Then, get out of Elective Gavelkind during his reign. That will be his one job. Once you are out of tribal and Gavelkind, you can really play the game.
You can also give your little kid honorary titles and make him a councillor (not Spymaster!) to increase his prestige, and that will help him through succession crisis. Don't try to land a family member in every province or they will reproduce, then to make alliances with one another, marry their children to each other; which for your kingdom means temporary stability, and for your dynasty, means inbreeding.