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You can bribe electors to vote your way (i.e. buy a favour and call in succession support). You probably cannot afford that, though.
Reformed pagan tribals can use eldership succession which is similar to tanistry.
After the change from tribal to feudal, more and better options become available.
Dammit life as a ruler was hard...
If you use gavelkind, you usually want to only have 1 son. You can do that by imprisoning/divorcing your spouse after having a son and/or making bastards, while only legitimizing girls. You can then marry an infertile 45+ woman with high stats for the attributes instead.
Alternatively you can expand your demesne rapidly and hand out titles to your other sons. I haven't used gavelkind for a while, so I am not 100% sure, but i think the way it worked was that granting titles going to them from the alert at the top to lesser sons starts to count towards the gavelkind title division. If you keep expanding and granting only the bad titles you don't want to hold in your demesne, then you wont lose anything on succession.
You can get that in the gavelkind system by never marrying, seducing a lot of single women, and only legitimizing one of the resulting bastards. That way, since you only have one heir, your throne isn't divided.
Up to a point, yes. However there will be a time when that approach will net you a game over between the chosen child ascending and them getting a new heir. It's definitely best to get away from gavelkind ASAP if you want to avoid the hassle of reuniting your realm periodically.
Granted, the Primogeniture takes some work to move toward, but that should be one of the first big goals of any CK2 game.
If you don't want the sons to compete, turn most into church/temple leaders or city mayors, or marry matrilineal out of the local area. I don't do any of this, actually, I simply have fun with the Intrigue and taking back holdings after my close relatives do something illegal. When you have numerous allies, it becomes a matter of "which one" to pick to put down the latest revolt, and then proceed to regain more free land, and redistribute it to your next Primo Heir.
Second, man do I hate Gravelkind. Its so stupid. But remember this: bishops can't inherit. I have 1 heir and 6 bishops as sons.
Outside of Republics, I prefer Ultimogeniture. You get young leaders that can rule for quite awhile and it's great for genetics. Keep popping out those kids until you get a strong, beautiful genius. Just make sure you always have a 'good' designated regent. Regencies are common in Ulti so make sure you've got someone with decent stats that loved your last ruler.
During a regency, there is no spouse bonus to attributes so the spouse is a candidate for regent, too. However, spouses are not as loyal as parents.
IMHO the best succession law is feudal elective. One can buy the election to get the perfect candidate into office.