Charlemagne is a pathetic failure

[ancistrus]

I just started a few games in 769 for the first time, so its time for me to rant again.

He manages to get middle francia most of the time. But apart from that, everything he touches turns into ♥♥♥♥. He loses holy wars, he loses regular wars, he loses against rebellions. Sometimes he surrenders the throne without even fighting. He gets himself maimed, killed, or captured in battles, or just gets assassinated, dying without accomplishing anything.

Empire of Francia? Impossible, unless the player does it himself.

How fun.

[KG]

Yeah, pretty much. I've never managed to witness him form the HRE. I even run observer games to watch him from time to time while I'm reading or something.

[Parazonium]

Huh I've seen him create the HRE in a few of my game's without help, though more often than not he fails to do so.

[Obi Hung Kenobi]

In my game the HRE forms all of the time but not via France

[New Caesar]

I've seen him do what real life Charlemagne did, however his son then succeeded him and turned out to be Sunni... Let's just say I was able to mass holy war him as a Christian Wendish Empire.

[KG]

Okay, I want to see this loser form the HRE tonight. I'm letting observer mode games run while I read a book. Version 2.6.3 with all DLC but M&M. Default game rules, minor mods that shouldn't have much effect while he is actually alive.

1 - Fails in wars vs Saxony (bug - doesn't move his doomstacks after he forms them) and Umayyads. In debt up to his eyeballs for much of reign, lots of thieves' guilds and such. Eventually forms Francia but doesn't make use of claim on Lombardy. Failure.

2 - Betroths sister to Lombard prince and forms alliance: failure due to lack of claim for k_lombardy.

3 - Betroths sister to Lombard prince and forms alliance: failure due to lack of claim for k_lombardy.

4 - Fails to marry Lombard princess: no claim. Even fails to form e_francia, splitting kingdom on death in battle at age 47.

edit:

5 - Marries a courtier and betroths his bloody sister to bloody Adelchis of Lombardy. Again.

6. Sister. Adelchis.

7 - Marries wrong princess, never divorces (no claim on Lombardy). Dies of cancer after forming Francia.

8 - Marries lowborn but still gets claim on Lombardy when Carloman's widow flees to there. Dies of infection from Widukind rebellion.

9 - Dies without a claim on Lombardy. Fails to even create e_francia in spite of a relatively stable reign.

I've run out of patience for tonight. Charlie's failing too fast for me to really make progress on my book and it is irritating just to watch him.

[Segovax]

Play as Saxony.

[☭Woodsman☭]

Since the Game Rule screen came along, I tend to set the Charlemagne event chain off just to spice things up, but the Empire still occasionally forms fairly quick. In my current game Karl managed to inherit everything from his brother, but didn't create an empire before dying, and it's now split in 2 again. usually when I see AI form HRE France is not a part of it until HRE swallows it up after forming.

[Ea0]

He (or someone else) manages to form the HRE or Francia ~50% of my games.
Though I prefer splintered kingdoms in Western/Central Europe over one huge white blob (my poor eyes! when will we finally be able to adjust colours?).