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Hover over your religion icon on your character screen and it will give you the list of features.
If both people are in your own court and it STILL wont work, then yes something is wrong.
It doesn't work neither with two people in my court, nor with characters of other religions (which allow matrilinear marriage). That's not the problem though, the matrilinear marriage checkbox isn't there at all. For example, I remember when playing Christians or Pagans I had muslims in my court and they refused to marry matrilineary (the button greyed out with big "no" above) but the checkbox was there.