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And remember; a LOT of malus is better than a LITTLE malus. The more vassals who rebel and get put down and revoked, the more you can put in place who LIKE YOU. Also, you get positive rep for squashing "major revolts."
However, the easiest solution is to change map mode *hides*
Though it may suck, I suggest going through each holding 1 by 1 and selecting your own vassals, rather than the "help me" decision.
i'd probably just pause, create vassals for each of the castles, cities and temples and then use the character finder to find new nobles for the new land. filter for "my culture", "my religion", "no dynasty" to get a list of lowborn courtiers. i prefer lowborns with no family as the new title holders. if you use people who are already nobles, it always (sooner or later) results in ugly border gore when a decendant of the baron/count of [somewhere] inherits titles in [somewhere 3000 km away from their home]. then hand out each of the counties to a lowborn (who becomes a new noble of a new dynasty) and make one of the counts of each duchy the new duke.
by picking lowborns, you at least delay the bordergore by a few generations until matrilineal marriages and ambitious characters with forged claims mess things up.
if you have way more land than vassal slots, you may also have to consolidate vassal duchies into vassal kingdoms.
imprison everyone(literally everyone including unlanded courtiers), revoke all titles, kill everyone, invite new people in to give the titles to. since nobody was around for the great murder they'll all think you're amazing for giving them land
Especially if a good deal of your landed vassals decide to rebel rather than accept imprisonement.