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Also, as a new player, never, ever, play ironman. Alright, that isn't necessarily true, if you really want to, you can, but I wouldn't recommend it. It's easier to learn the game if you can save yourself. That way, you don't do something like: "I want to test out what would happen if I do this and this, oh, everyone immediately kills me. Well that was 200 years wasted."
Along the way, check out a few LPs of the game. I highly recommend you look up a Youtuber by the name of Arumba, his videos will teach you quite a bit.
Oh and welcome to Crusader Kings 2.
Apart from the often cited Ireland start I can also really recommend you both playing as vassals of the same Empire. That way you share the same realm and always have something to talk about regarding what's going on. Also, if you have the Conclave dlc you can even both sit on your AI Emperors council as councilors and help to shape realm politics with your votes. One could take Bavaria to expand east and the other could take something more north or west of the Holy Roman Empire to either expand into Scandinavia or into France.
Worst thing that can happen to your county at that point is typically you.
However, any date, even the earliest one Ireland is a relatively slow and simple start. While the earlier start date adds the threat of Viking raids and conquests, there's a bizarre sweet spot for that sort of thing. If you're struggling, you're typically not large enough to provoke Viking attention. If you are doing well, you may well be big enough to defend yourself against a poorly-thought out beach landing or be able to afford Mercenaries.
If you're looking for a somewhat cooperative experience, I recommend one of you play a Duke, and the other a count. In the first few ticks of the game the count simply swears fealty to the duke player, becoming his loyal vassal.
You could also both pick a duke or count and race to see who can form Ireland. First one to form it becomes King and the loser bends the knee to them as a Duke.
Don't have real experience with the new start date so can't comment on that.
And interestingly, I found starting in Sardinia not at all bad. You are still on an island and it seems most won't mess with you for a while. Then you can focus on possibly expanding your holdings there. Then, when you feel strong enough, you can strike out at the mainland, Malta, Sicily, or even into North Africa.
It's worked for me more than once.
But, ofc, as always, YMMV.
Plenty of opportunity to expand, getting money is easy, and your neighbours are all pretty weak.
Obviously you need ToG to enable Pagans and to give a start date that actually has pagans. (I'm unsure if the new Iron Century start date has pagans or if they've flipped to Catholic as I've yet to play it.)
Only downside is the mongols will turn up later, and may expand right toward you.
With Holy Fury it's even more enticing since now you can work down the road to reform the pagan religion and pick options that will be useful as you move into more "modern" times.
Don't know what the new Iron Century did personally. My current game I am trying to restore the Roman Empire.
It's been a weird game.
Started with a stinking duchy and was the emperor's spymaster. Took the scholar focus and thus rediscovered the old Hellenic faith which I now practice in secret.
Worked hard to be a good dutiful duchess and to protect my emperor.
Had no desire to gain the imperial throne until a few generations down the line.
My damned lord got killed in single combat and I found out that I was overly popular and was voted to be the new empress. Hating every minute of having so much responsibility thrust upon me way before I felt ready for my dynasty to be up to the task.
I stopped the game before the great buildings update to later start this one. Then I was the queen of Denmark after much war, raiding, and intrigue. Reformed Germanic paganism and was starting to cut into the mainland -- mainly into the HRE.
But I was afraid things would get messed up with the update so ceased that game.
Oh well, it's interesting having all this power and responsibility thrust upon me way, way before I thought I was even nearly ready for it.
The coming years will let me know if I had it in me to deal with greatness suddenly piled onto me or if I shall be one of those pathetic figures in history who were tested and found greatly wanting.
Poland can be a seriously fun start place. Only did so once but I had a blast. You have so many places to expand into.
Granted you have people around you who want to absorb you themselves, but it's a good challenge with plenty of options.
Marry into one of the nearby ruling dynasties and make an alliance and things can flow in a very nice way.
Yeah. Basically 1066 can just be a nice solid start date in many places on the map.
Wonder if it's the most popular start date..?
Think the game most accurately reflects 1066 historically, politically......
don’t actually do Lubec as your first start.
Only downside: the pope dislikes you because he wants your titles