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https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1830297693
Oftentimes its a good idea to make sure you bring over twice his troops and try to use terrain and generals with good bonuses to your advantage when you can. Set up forts to hold his territories without holdings and try to avoid attrition. I've had wars go well early on, only to have my troops whittled down by attrition. Even after splitting them up and keeping them in adjacent territories, they still take a hit due to lack of supply in winter and end up getting steamrolled when he regroups and rolls back through. Plus, I've found they like to do hit and runs, taking territories back and sieging border counties, then running off to deal damage elsewhere when you return to deal with them. Organizer trait might help in running them down.
Other than that, wait until he's already in the middle of a war and distracted before declaring war yourself. Bring allies and mercs for overwhelming numbers to be safe, but keep en eye on county supply limits and avoid attrition when possible. Try to strike fast and take capitol holdings.
If you are tribal, you need to fight smart. Your troops are inferior to theirs in direct combat, so you need to use defensive terrain to your advantage. It helps to have commanders that have movement speed bonuses to reach ideal terrain before them and force them into a disadvantage. But even this might not be enough if your commanders aren't good enough... because you are tribal. Your 20000 tribal troops just aren't worth as much as 9000 nomad troops all things being equal.