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.....yeah, I'd let that cool down until it's below 75% and the only banding together you'll get is from pacts not of your religion. Totally didn't steal this advice from the CK2 Wiki walkthrough on the SPQR achievement or anything.
The M&M new chancellor task for lowering threat is also very good.
Again this only works when the target is small. I tried taking a barony in one of my counties back from a larger kingdom (warscore wouldn’t jump as fast) and ended up on a multi year world war that ended up costing me 20K ducats in retinue replacements and mercenaries to finally win.
The last thing you can do, depending on geography, is to make sure you have non aggression pacts with the largest nearby rulers. This will keep them out of the defensive pacts.
Hope that helps. I’ve been loathing this “feature” for 700 years on my 769 run. After starting in Wessex, I formed Brittania, then HRE, then ERE, then Roman Empire along with SPQR. It was painful. I ended up painting the whole world purple except for India and a sIngle RUS kingdom in Europe that I just didn’t have the patience to conquer.
Long rant but last thing I can recommend is to usurp and grant titles to your more powerful vassals that include the dejeure territory you want. They will often co quiet it for you. My vassals we’re responsible for conquering at least 1/4th of my entire empire.