How to marry my sister with a King?

[Sir Prometeus]

I'm playing the tutorial as the King of Leon, and I would like to marry her with somebody to keep that county under my control. Ideally she should marry a King but I can only marry her with some of my courtiers (none of them are important) Both of the neighbour kingdoms next to mine are under the rule of other family members.

How can I do it?

PS And no, I'm going to marry my cousin. That's problematic enough, not to mention marrying my sister.

[football5680]

If they already have a wife, then you can't. They may also be unwilling for diplomatic reasons as well. When you marry somebody, it creates a non-aggression pact between you and if they desire your land, obviously they wouldn't want this pact.

If you are just asking how you do it in general, then you simply right click whoever you want her to marry and then click arrange marriage.

[Surimi]

How are you trying to arrange the marriage?

If you're right clicking on your sister and selecting "arrange marriage", then you'll only see people in your own court. A better way to do it if you don't have a speciifc candidate in mind is to click on the ring icon next to your sister's portrait, which will bring up a list of interesting AI characters who would agree to a marriage or betrothal.

Alternately, if you have someone speciifc in mind try right clicking on them, selecting "arrange marrage" and then matching them up with your sister. This method is useful because if they wouldn't accept the marriage offer it will tell you why.

Generally, betroth your relatives to important people when they're still young. Once they come of age they'll be in high demand and the AI sometimes just marries them off to complete randoms.

[Sir Prometeus]

I've always tried selecting first the target character and from there, selecting my sister. But she doesn't appear in the window, only an irrelevant female courtier.

That said, I've realized my first targets where my brothers too, so I understand there could be a problem. But also happens when I tried to target a more distant relative, like an uncle or a cousin. There wasn't any problems for me to marry a cousin so I don't know why I can't do the same for her.

In the tutorial scenario in the spanish kingdoms, all the relevant characters are either relatives or muslims (I also tried with them, but they hate us) In fact, I think there was an option to marry my character's mother, but perhaps I'm mistaken. Anyway, the kings of Galicia and Castilla were very interesting candidates if it weren't because they are my brothers.

PS In fact, I think there were other female courtiers I couldn't propose either.

[al_x_ator2411]

I'm not sure what you're trying to do but marrying your sister to a foreign ruler will not give you the ruler's land. It will not even spread your dynasty if it's a regular marriage.

[Sir Prometeus]

Frist I tried to do this kind of marriage that made the heir belong to the dinasty of the mother. But i know they probably won't accept. So my second plan was them to have children and then kill the father, but perhaps this is absurd too.

I just simply don't know what to do with them, so please, tell me. But either way, this problematic sister of mine got married on her own with another cousin (another king) This caused a high risk of losing Zamora (she was the owner of that county), but when she plotted to kill me, I simply took her title from her, so my cousin doesn't get anything from that marriage, save children perhaps.

By the way, how is possible she was the countess of Zamora but I can't grant that kind of titles to other women in my court?

[Varainger]

Originally posted by Sir Prometeus:

...

By the way, how is possible she was the countess of Zamora but I can't grant that kind of titles to other women in my court?

Pre-coded so in game files. ;)

Seriously, inheritance.

edit: regarding marrying, alternatively click on the rings below her portrait in her character window.

[al_x_ator2411]

I didn't remember there was a landed sister in the tutorial but then I played it so long ago.
She probably inherited the county from someone (a gender succession law and certain cultures/religions lets girls inherit if boys aren't available or even put girls 1st).

If she was landed it means you had no say who she'd marry (no wonder you couldn't find her in the list). You did good taking the land from her but she now must have an inheritable strong claim to the county that her & the foreign king's kids will get and may press against you. Better keep her in jail until you can kill her husband.

Some sisters can/should be sent off for alliances (especially younger ones down the succession line and/or with bad traits) but other's might be of better use to stay in your court and matri-marry claimants to a foreign title.

Find some land you want (and could win the war for it). Click the coat of arms and then the "claimants" button and invite an unmarried man with strong or weak inheritable claim. Matri-marry him with spare sisters/cousins/nieces etc. When they have a few kids (at least 1 boy) you can kill him for the claim to pass to the kids and then press it. If the title is lower than your primary one, the kid will become your vassal.

Alternatively you can invite a woman with strong claim and marry her to your spare boys (or even your heir is she's really good).

[Paragon]

Originally posted by Varainger:

Originally posted by Sir Prometeus:

...

By the way, how is possible she was the countess of Zamora but I can't grant that kind of titles to other women in my court?

Pre-coded so in game files. ;)

Seriously, inheritance.

edit: regarding marrying, alternatively click on the rings below her portrait in her character window.

To elaborate, if all possible male heirs die and your laws allow it, female heirs will take titles. Female heirs cannot take ANY titles if theres even a single male heir (so gravelkind with 1 male and 3 females has all titles go to the male), but are considered equal if only female heirs exist.

This is actually a bad situation unless your laws allow females to hold titles, as it adds a -10 "female ruler" modifier from all their vassals (meaning potentially less tax and stability) and adds a -10 "female heir" modifier to their parent.

Attraction modifiers also matter a lot more to women rulers, as the majority of landholders will be men. This means while a flu might mean near nothing to a male, females will have all their vassals dislike them because of it. It works in reverse too, allowing attractive and seductress females to get stupidly powerful attraction bonuses (seduction focus adds +10, and traits gained from it can increase attraction by +50(!) more).

[Walrick]

Originally posted by al_x_ator2411:

I'm not sure what you're trying to do but marrying your sister to a foreign ruler will not give you the ruler's land. It will not even spread your dynasty if it's a regular marriage.

I married off my oldest daughter to the heir of the Byzantine Empire, which allowed me to make an ally out of him, which should help me (a Duke/Doux) of the Byzantine Empire call on him for aid in my quest to reunite the Kingdom of Greece.

I have 5 daughters and no male heir, btw. If I understand the game right, my oldest daughter will inherit my duchy while also being queen of the (now smaller due to outside attacks) Byzantine Empire.

[Yaldabaoth]

Originally posted by Walrick:

Originally posted by al_x_ator2411:

I'm not sure what you're trying to do but marrying your sister to a foreign ruler will not give you the ruler's land. It will not even spread your dynasty if it's a regular marriage.

I married off my oldest daughter to the heir of the Byzantine Empire, which allowed me to make an ally out of him, which should help me (a Duke/Doux) of the Byzantine Empire call on him for aid in my quest to reunite the Kingdom of Greece.

I have 5 daughters and no male heir, btw. If I understand the game right, my oldest daughter will inherit my duchy while also being queen of the (now smaller due to outside attacks) Byzantine Empire.

1) The ruler will not help you in your wars, neither in the realm nor outside. He simply can't join your wars.
2) Unless you used matrilinear marriage, it's game over for you after that daughter dies.

[Walrick]

Originally posted by Yaldabaoth:

Originally posted by Walrick:

I married off my oldest daughter to the heir of the Byzantine Empire, which allowed me to make an ally out of him, which should help me (a Duke/Doux) of the Byzantine Empire call on him for aid in my quest to reunite the Kingdom of Greece.

I have 5 daughters and no male heir, btw. If I understand the game right, my oldest daughter will inherit my duchy while also being queen of the (now smaller due to outside attacks) Byzantine Empire.

1) The ruler will not help you in your wars, neither in the realm nor outside. He simply can't join your wars.
2) Unless you used matrilinear marriage, it's game over for you after that daughter dies.

The Emperor of the Byzantines did come to my aid, though. I was in a losing war with someone (I now forget who but it was probably one of my vassals) and in desperation I married off my oldest daughter hoping that it would give me an alliance. Marrying her to the future heir of the Byzantine Empire allowed me a nonagression-pact with the Emperor, and allowed to me to subsequently form an alliance with him, which then allowed me to call on him for help with a "Call to Arms".

I think would've lost the game if not for that move.

No, I don't have matrilinear marriage. I tried but he wouldn't accept it. But I changed a law in my duchy which (I think) allows the oldest member of my dyansty (which she is) to inherist all my titles.

[al_x_ator2411]

Allies are good (especially as a deterent against outside forces) but you still don't control them in any way. They can come to your aid or not. And their coming may lead to nothing because they'll just march around the map and never help in major battles.

Does your older daughter have a regular marriage or not? Since she married the heir I'm guessing not. Who will inherit her title (your duchy) after she dies? Her sisters or her kids with the Emperor? If her kids are not of your dynasty and they are set as her heirs, it may be game over for you. Unless you can change your duchies succession law to seniority. In any case make sure the other sisters are matri-married and maybe give some lands to them.

[Walrick]

Originally posted by al_x_ator2411:

Allies are good (especially as a deterent against outside forces) but you still don't control them in any way. They can come to your aid or not. And their coming may lead to nothing because they'll just march around the map and never help in major battles.

Does your older daughter have a regular marriage or not? Since she married the heir I'm guessing not. Who will inherit her title (your duchy) after she dies? Her sisters or her kids with the Emperor? If her kids are not of your dynasty and they are set as her heirs, it may be game over for you. Unless you can change your duchies succession law to seniority. In any case make sure the other sisters are matri-married and maybe give some lands to them.

It was either a marriage or betrothal to, I think, the grandson of the Emperor. It wasn't matrilinear.

If her sisters remain part of her dynasty after my current character's death, then I'm assuming that her next oldest sister (being then the oldest member of my dynasty) will inherit my titles and allow me to continue playing as her.

I could certainly be wrong, though. It's a complex game. :)

I still need to get my other daughters betrothed.

[al_x_ator2411]

I think you mentinoed above that you DID change the law to seniority (oldest dynasty member inherits) so you should be OK.

In the window where you change the laws it also shows a line of heirs (on the top). If the next 2-3 people are of your dynasty, you are doing fine.

[Walrick]

Originally posted by al_x_ator2411:

I think you mentinoed above that you DID change the law to seniority (oldest dynasty member inherits) so you should be OK.

In the window where you change the laws it also shows a line of heirs (on the top). If the next 2-3 people are of your dynasty, you are doing fine.

Ah, thanks. I'll do that.