Mario Odyssey in a taxi

Publisher: So, you have an exercise in frustration for me?

Game Designer: Yes, sir, I do!

Publisher: Oh, okay, hit me with it.

Game Designer: So, picture this: Banjo-Kazooie, Donkey Kong 64, Sonic, Tomb Raider, Mirror’s Edge, Crazy Taxi—all mashed together in one unholy amalgamation of game ideas!

Publisher: Ooooh unholy amalgamations are tight!

Game Designer: Exactly! It’s like if you took Sonic’s speed, Tomb Raider’s platforming, Crazy Taxi’s insanity, and just—threw them all together in the most chaotic, incoherent way imaginable! You get the best of everything and the worst of everything all at once!

Publisher: Very considerate! Wow, this sounds like a recipe for disaster!

Game Designer: Oh, it is! And the best part? You play as a taxi driver. That’s right, a taxi driver in a platformer—because why not?

Publisher: What?

Game Designer: What?

Publisher: What?

Game Designer: Yeah, you can’t jump. At all. I mean, you’re a taxi driver—why would you need to jump? But don’t worry, we’ve got dashing!

Publisher: Oh, really? Wait, no jumping in a platformer but you can dash?

Game Designer: Super easy, barely an inconvenience!

Publisher: Oh, really?

Game Designer: Yeah! You’re gliding through levels like a sentient taxi possessed by the spirit of an old-school arcade cabinet. You can brake, sure, and drifting’s smoother than it has any right to be—but the momentum? That thing has attitude. It's like every turn dares you to mess it up.

Publisher: So, it’s precise?

Game Designer: Technically—but only if you’re good at predicting chaos in motion. It’s less like driving and more like learning the choreography of a dance-off between gravity and poor decisions.

Publisher: That sounds... manageable?

Game Designer: Until you’re flying off rooftops, wall-riding construction scaffolding, bouncing off balloons, and landing on a moving platform like it’s nothing. It’s parkour—but with a taxi. We call it Carkour™.

Publisher: Carkour?

Game Designer: Yeah, it’s like if Tony Hawk and a cab company had a really confusing baby.

Publisher: Oh no.

Game Designer: Oh yes.

Publisher: Whoopsie! That sounds like a nightmare!

Game Designer: Oh, it’s beautiful! But the real fun begins when we toss water into the mix!

Publisher: Water? In a driving game?

Game Designer: Yeah! Shallow water you can drive through like it’s nothing—and then, bam, deep water that automatically drowns you and gives you this dramatic time-out screen like a game-over, except it’s not game over, just an annoying slap in the face!

Publisher: Whoopsie! That sounds like the worst thing to happen in a game!

Game Designer: Oh, absolutely. Imagine trying to pull off the biggest jump of your life, and—whoops—right into the water. That screen just keeps flashing over and over again. It’s the worst, and we love it!

Publisher: Oh my god, that sounds terrible.

Game Designer: But wait, there’s more! You lose some pointless collectibles when you die or drown, but don’t worry—you can get small bonuses for collecting certain amounts. So, it's worth it... kinda.

Publisher: Well, okay then, so you’re punishing players for dying, but rewarding them for doing the same thing over and over?

Game Designer: Exactly! The grind is real! You’ve gotta keep collecting these pointless things over and over, and then, maybe you’ll get a small reward. It’s like a really bad job, but without the paycheck.

Publisher: Fabulous!

Game Designer: Now, let’s talk about Morio, the guy you have to talk to in the game. You’ll love him! He’s weird, he’s creepy, and get this: every time you talk to him, the camera zooms in... on his crotch.

Publisher: Wait, what?

Game Designer: Oh yeah, it zooms right in on his crotch. It’s like the camera’s obsessed with it. Then, it slowly pans up to his face, like, “Yeah, we’re doing this.”

Publisher: What?

Game Designer: What?

Publisher: What?

Game Designer: Yeah, it’s art, or something. It’s definitely something nobody asked for, but it’s in there, and it’s unsettling.

Publisher: Oh my god, that’s disturbing.

Game Designer: It’s a design choice. It’s avant-garde!

Publisher: Very considerate!

Game Designer: The rest of the game follows suit—nonsensical objectives, uneven difficulty spikes, and a camera that sometimes just gives up and lets you suffer.

Publisher: Wow wow wow. Wow. This sounds like a mess.

Game Designer: Oh, it is. But it’s the best kind of mess. It’s everything you didn’t want in a game but still... everything you secretly need.

Publisher: Fabulous! Let’s get this thing out there and let the players experience pure chaos.

Game Designer: Great! Now, about the title—Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom.

Publisher: What?

Game Designer: Yeah, I know. It’s perfect, right? It says exactly what the game is, and it’s catchy! It’s like if you just walked up to someone and said, “Yellow taxi, vroom, that’s what it does!” They’ll know exactly what they’re getting into. It’s straightforward, it slaps in the best way.

Publisher: But why the “Vroom”? It’s a taxi. Not a race car.

Game Designer: Oh, trust me, the “Vroom” is essential. It makes it sound fast and exciting, even though the car is completely unpredictable. It’s irony at its finest!

Publisher: Well, okay then, but what’s the yellow part about?

Game Designer: Well, yellow taxis are iconic, right? It’s like New York, it’s like every city—it’s that universal “I’m in a cab” feeling. And also, because we’re not calling it “Yellow Car That Goes Vroom”. That’s too boring, and this game’s anything but boring!

Publisher: Fabulous! So you’re telling me, Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom is a chaotic mess, you can’t jump, the water is your worst enemy, and the camera zooms in on his crotch... but it’s exactly what we need?

Game Designer: Yes! It’s like if someone made a game that violates your expectations, and then it violates you in other ways too. It’s art.

Publisher: Well, okay then! Let’s make sure the title is as obnoxious as possible and get this game out there!

Game Designer: Great! Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom: It’s the game you didn’t know you wanted but will never be able to forget!

Publisher: Fabulous! I’m already picturing the reviews. They’re gonna give this thing clown awards for sure! You know how we can’t criticize this game freely, right? No repercussions for that.

Game Designer: Oh, absolutely. But it’s gonna be so much fun when players get mad. We’ll totally get clown awards for sure. It’ll be hilarious.

Publisher: Yeah, if they can even get through the first two minutes without wanting to throw their controllers.

Game Designer: Exactly! They’ll love the chaos, and we’ll love the ratings. Everyone wins, even if they don’t want to!

---

[Honest Trailer Voice]

In a world where platformers let you jump...
One game dares to say: “Nah.”

From the creators of What If Crazy Taxi Got a Head Injury, comes a turbo-charged fever dream where you play as a taxi—who can’t jump—but sure as hell can vroom.

Fueled by endless espresso shots, you’ll slide, dash, and Carkour™ through insane obstacle courses that defy logic. The ground is lava, water is your nemesis, and ramps are launching pads for taxi-shaped projectiles.

Experience “tight” controls—if tight means swerving like you’re in a bumper car race at full speed.

Collect gears, grab rabbits, talk to a guy named Morio whose crotch gets more screen time than his face, and unlock story bits that feel like fevered hallucinations from a VHS tape you shouldn’t have watched.

Mario: "Mamma mia, why’s the camera staring at his...?"
Luigi: "Is this even a platformer?"
Sonic: "I’m FAST, but this feels wrong…"
Tails: "Shouldn't I be flying or something?"
Knuckles: "Isn’t Morio that place in JoJo? What a beautifully confusing Duwang."

Warning: may cause headaches, joy-induced vertigo, existential dread, and spontaneous controller yeeting.

Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom:
The game you’ll love to hate and hate to love.

More Nintendo flavored than everything Nintendo has put out since Mario Odyssey.

Buy on full price. Don't buy on sale.