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Patchnotes will not be available before the patch.
5pm CET means 5pm CET
Nobody here doubts that.
However, they have stated publicly that there are over 1000 fixes and changes that make up those 34 pages. You are ofcourse free to imagine whatever you want, but your imagination may be somewhat detached from objective reality in this case.
Yeah from what I read this patch was substantial with balance fixes too, which was several months in the making, and could possibly break game mechanics, so they didn't want to release it as day 1 patch.