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She decrys Cerberus in ME1. And not even Cerberus, but Terra Firma, a far more legitimate political entity. She even would do the same if the Alliance decided to back out of Council representation though an embassy. She's not isolationist and she's never been an automatic combatant against anything but armed autonomous synthetic entities. She chilled with aliens in ME1, she was just a little wary of them in general because of their literal alienness and potential of abuse to the ship (none of them have stated and proven allegiance to the Alliance, only stated desire to stop Saren).
People really overstate her supposed bigotry in ME1. She's a xenophobe, and phobe does not automatically mean hater (as a gay person I have to constantly manage people's misuse of homophobe on both sides; a person with a phobia can ver much actually be taught to think otherwise and restrain themselves, while hater/bigot likely will not, because they can't even recognize whether their fear is rational or irrational). And her phobia is also very precise and has more to do with the Turians suddenly attacking *human explorers doing nothing wrong* and then *pursuing them to a colony* and screwing up her family. Beyond her xenophobia, she is just a cautious and cynical person. About everyone. She doesn't like Udina, doesn't like TIM, doesn't trust purely Alliance or Human dominance, and doesn't even strongly submit to Shepard's will beyond the factors of a romantic tryst and/or the rank protocol (by this I mean she questions him even if he acts relatively pro-human). She prefers humans because they're like her. Kaidan does this too, he's just less upfront about it (though he'd admit it too).
What'd they do to you? Piss in your coffee?
He was arguably NOT a good Turian, and that's part of why he's a good Spectre.
He was trusted by the Council because he had the best record of getting their requests done. He would not be trusted by any of them personally, so once it appeared his position was compromised (thanks Tali), they abandoned him quickly.
Nihlus had a mostly professional relationship with Saren. It was only enough to turn his back to him and get shot in it. It wasn't enough to be anything like friends. Saren was a mentor to Nihlus but the relationship stopped there. Nihlus respected Saren's approach to things, but he did not appreciate it.
The more Paragon you are, the more you trust Turians (and therefore try to listen to Saren) and the more you act as a positive representative of Humanity as a Spectre.
The more Renegade you are, the more you behave like Saren (pre-ME1) and the more you act as a violent arm of the Council as a Spectre.
Spectres may be the 'best of the best' and have that renown, but they also have license to do almost anything without legal consequences, as long as it achieves what the Council wants. They're extralegal and arguably a highly immoral position - Shepard can just decide to not abuse that authority and provide himself as a good example of what the role can mean.
Saren's personality went through ups and downs but he was largely defined as being someone who would go to too-drastic-extents for too-good-of-ideals, as far as otherwise normal organics, Turians, Spectres go. In his backstory, he was okay, but rash and pulled into the Reapers. As he pursued them under well meaning purposes, he allowed deaths of innocents. This trend continued - as he came into contact with the Reapers, he would kill anyone in his way. As he started to work with the Reapers, he would betray anyone else. Then as he in ME1 started to overtly work for the Reapers, he was effectively betraying all of the galaxy for the hope that Turians or this Cycle's organics could have at least a subset of them 'surviving' in another state (Reaper, Husk, Other). He became desperate and a desperate Saren already proved that he's willing to sell everyone out, hurt anyone else, to get his aim accomplished close enough.
He had good intentions, and high abilities, but his virtues mostly stop there. It was enough for him to be trusted enough by Nihlus and the Council etc, but Anderson detected what kind of person he was a while ago. To compare, Shepard always has a higher degree of cooperation with others, as well as better ability (though it is constantly tested) to get the job done. He didn't think he needed to pursue and eventually submit to the Reapers - at least until the end where you can theorize about stuff.
The idea behind the scene and relationship there was sound, IMO. But:
1)I would have appreciated a Para/Rene too. If passed, the conversion could go differently but I'd accept them not joining with Cerberus, but instead sending intel directly to the Normandy and apologizing (though I think this already happens if you're nice and romanced them?). If failed, then we get something closer to what we got.
2)The writing could have expressed better what was going on with them. Its not that Shepard was goo and came back, its that Shepard may not be there at all (and as such, other ME1 squadmates like Liara and Garrus and Tali should have had better skepticism about Shepard's existence). And its not that they weren't contacted, it was that Shepard appeared out of nowhere in bizarre circumstance, working for/with an organization that may be on record from ME1 to have a history of planting disasters for humans for the sake of experimentation. They should have expressed concern that this was a Cerberus trap, and it likely was to at least some extent.
Instead we have the VS (Virmire Survivor) getting the dummy brick and writing that appears as if it was by an intern that barely knew the first game. I get the role the VS was to play in ME2, but it was not respected by the developers themselves, IMO.
She chilled with aliens in ME1 while complaining about it the whole time. She is suspicious of literally EVERYTHING alien, even the artificial pond on the Citadel, which is just ridiculous. By ME3 she mellows out quite a lot and is overtly friendly with many of the aliens. Character growth.
It's true her xenophobia isn't as bad as people make it out to be, but it's definitely her biggest flaw. I can't think of any other. Some people complain that she's too heavily religious but IIRC she only ever brings it up once or twice and she's not disrespectful of people with other beliefs.
Also the words xenophobe and homophobe do indeed refer to bigotry as well as fear. We aren't Latin, and the etymological history of a word doesn't always reflect its actual meaning. :)
Xenophobe and homophobe do indeed refer to bigotry, but not always. They can also refer more to ignorance, mental disorder, and topical fixation, etc. I've met homophobes and they range from being clear haters of it the more they learn, to those who literally don't even know anything about gay people and once they do, they're accepting. May then have critiques at times but that's more than welcome as free speech. That's what I mean. I'm not talking about the etymological history, I'm talking about the present-day relevant application of the world.
I don't recall her complaining about spending time with aliens more than once or twice, but my memory could be wrong. She also can clearly make friendship with Tali, I think.
"That sure is a big pond" has to do with political corruption aka killings aka reference to human mobsters. This indeed is a fact of Citadel history. All she meant is that the Citadel puts on a show of purely peace and cooperation when it is surely not all of what it is. And this is true. In fact, the Presidium is a facade of galactic life, even compared to the Citadel's own Wards. The wealthy and powerful enjoy the beauty while there's still gangs and corruption and lies and assassinations and disharmony between species. All shown in ME1 and continued through the trilogy. She's not suspicious of the damn pond. Its a saying about aesthetics not matching the rest of reality. She's communicating that she doesn't think everything on the Citadel is as bright and shiny as they like to pretend and show to newcomers. And she's RIGHT about that. Its the Council's own Spectre that is even bringing the Reapers, and they acted in denial about it without proof.
Even her most bigoted statement "I can't tell the aliens from the animals" or whatever, while it shows the worst of her, that also came from her belief that ALL sapients can be considered animals, and just humans are the most familiar ones. She's inartfully meaning that since we can't be sure about other species treating us like their own, we shouldn't automatically regard them as our own. Prejudiced and bigoted, but again something that plot and worldbuilding supports. This is indeed what happened in the First Contact War and onwards. Don't forget the aliens that call humans squishy pink things and start off distrusting in any communication with them.
Also the aliens really are artistically designed after animals. lol. Human may be monkeys, but then salarian frogs, hanar jellyfish, turian birds, asari squids(?), volus dogs, krogan turtles. Still terrible though, as all these species have clear expressions of sapient intelligence.
One thing to keep in mind is that her saying this was a mistake, only meant to happen at a keeper, and so be mostly in reference to the keepers, which indeed do have much more animal-level intelligence.
I always let Kaidan die, Ash annoys me sometimes, but Kaidan never really got my attention at all. He just seems kinda empty, so empty that I never even stopped to think about who dies the first time I got to that scene, in my head it was instantly automatically him.
Choose one of them wisey as a Male/FemShep, because once you do, the other one will be dead for the remainder of the series.
We don't see much from Ash and Kaiden in ME2 but seeing as she rose in ranks she finally made an impression with the alliance and I think it's also thanks to being mor open minded now. She learned that from Shepard, she followed his example, she thought they died and tried to honor the memory, doing what she thinks Shepard would have done, continue to save people, and try to have an open mind. She looked up to Shepard, she mourned her friend. And then meets the ghost of her role model and hero completely unexpected, working with the enemy, with the people that symbolize pretty much everything Shepard represented in ME1. Against the Alliance!! And we all know how much of an Alliance-gal Ash is. And seeing as Ash isn't the type who thinks much before she speaks, pretty honest and emotional, I can see how she's so angry. At first she seems calm, can't grasp the situation fully yet, happy to see Shepard alive, and then realizes that the rumors are true. A cerberus logo on Shepards chest where once sat the proud N7 logo. She seems to be going through many emotions in that moment but ultimately settles on "♥♥♥♥, I'm so angry at you! And sad and disappointed... But mostly angry!" all Ash style, like we know and love her. She can't help it, she gets defensive quickly, takes things too personal, and scared of showing weakness she slips into anger oh so quickly. Ashley, sweet annoying, Ashley. Haha.
In ME3 (Seeing her open hair during a battle makes me wanna grab a pair of scissors. she'll have that stuff obstructing her vision constantly, get stuck in her armor, surroundings, ARGH! Really?? Long open hair during combat??? ASH??) she finally becomes a spectre! The council doesn't see her as a xenophobe, or at least thinks she is professional enough to put that aside for the good of the galaxy and take orders from aliens. She has grown as a person, and as a soldier. Sure, she is still headstrong and quick to anger, but she is also still passionate about things that mean a lot to her. She is a fighter through and through. It's in her blood. So what if she doesn't mingle with the crew on your ship in ME3 (other than Kaiden) and just holes herself up on the observation deck, let the woman be alone with her thoughts. She has family to worry about and a lot of anger issues to control (she's not exactly tranquil).
Ash is great.
I still relate more to Kaiden thought, since I have a long history of abuse (15 years), at home, at school, and I was alone with it. Like Kaiden I dealt with it by throwing myself into school/work became really good at what I do and sacrificed a lot of social skills for it. I am socially inept and often perceived as dull/boring and sometimes as whiny, but that comes with the damage you take as a kid. When thinks get too hard I try to see things on a bigger scale, a small cog in the mashine that is the universe, what does it matter, blah blah, our pain is nothign compared too, blah, what will the future bring, blah. You tend to get a little philosofical rather than face reality head on and face your ugly feelings about situations, fear, rage, sadness, it's hard to be emotional about negative things without having flashbakcs. At least for me. ♥♥♥♥ PTSD. Anyway, it's hard to trust people and really be yourself when you've been trained to do be nothing but good at following order and doing your job. No matter how much you want to get into contact with others, the world will subconsciously always be your enemy, potential danger to your health/life. Even your allies, it becomes normal to expect a knife in your back. Kaiden's Jump Zero history reminds me of that. Yeah, he had friends, but really no authority figure to rely on. He was talented, levelheaded, and it sounds like he was not as pacifistic back then. Hated their instructors and brain-camp with gusto, I can see other kid relying on a protective older borther type like him. Kaiden had to grow up fast and be strong for them too, he felt protective of them, especially this Rana-girl though that he seemed to connect with. I understand that he stood up when Vernus broke his little girlfriend's arm, just because she used her hand to grab a glass of water instead of biotics. These kids lived in constant fear, got beaten and their bones broken for wanting to do something as simple as drinkign some water without getting a nosebleed for once. And when vernus beat him into a pulp and kaiden saw the military knife coming towards his face he snapped. Anger, fear... Imagine how terrified he was when he realized that he brutally killed a man when all he wanted to do was protect someone he loved. Kaiden was just 17. An abused, scared kid, ripped from his family when he was little.
Look at it like that and you get Kaiden a little better. In a burst of rage he killed someone without even wanting too. His biotics seam to leash out on the mere thought of something, and from what I understand (even though he didn't say it) strong emotions seem to make it worse. He was a kid when he discovered that when he gets angry he can kill people, even when he doesn't want to. That had to be terrifying. No wonder he often appears to be so emotionless and distant. He isn't so much boring as he is way too used to being the mature one others can rely on, and trying to controll his biotics. I can imagine that his headaches come from that, the L2 implant isn't as well developed and he has to work hard to control his biotics ("they had to work hard to help the kids not break their own limbs", it's not out of the question that strong emotions make biotics harder to control when you're an L2, a calm demeanour and constant concentration would be helpful, but hard to maintain 24/7). He tries to be understanding, and that's not cookie-cutter goody two shoes, that's hard work. Took me many years to develope this kind of attitude towards my abusers. Kaiden is sorry about killing that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Vernus (though not sorry that Vernus is dead, lol, just that HE killed him), the fact that that's still so clear on his mind kind of shows how much that incident influenced him. This first accidental kill, despite being self-defense, still haunts him. It was in an emptional outburst. And probably not pretty because of his really strong biotics.
In ME1 he comes to learn to depend on someone other than himself. You can even get him to open up, and get emotional talking about some things, hints of anger and regret when talking about somethings, but you can feel that he is still holding bacl a lot. Probably thinks it's none of Shepard's business or doesn't want to come off as annoying. I know I think like that when people prod about my past. Thinking someone might find out just how broken you are is nerve wrecking and really makes you want to draw back and be alone rather than risk making a friend. In ME2 it makes sense to see him so hurt when he meets Shepard. He trusted you, that's a big deal for him, depended on you, something he never thought he could, and then you come back and don't contact him, even though he felt you were friends. You can tell he feels kind of stupid for thinking that you were close in any way. He feels betrayed, he honored Shepard's memory and worked his ass off as he always did, probably drew back into his stupid cocoon and working harder than usual not to be openly emotional. And then he "accidentally" (thanks, TIM, we really neded that =_=) meets Shepard on Horizon and just feels increadibly stupid for having put trust into Shepard. He liked Shepard, how devoted they both were to the alliance and the cause and admired Shepard as a spectre working for the good of everyone, not just humanity. Paragon or renegade, no matter how many casualties, Shepard gets the bad guys and ultimately saves who they can save. And now he is with Cerberus. The bad guys (that if you did the sidemissions) you fought before. Cruel ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that have no business helping anyone other than themselves on the way towards more power, no respect for the lives of anyone, but especially not that of aliens. kaiden put his trust in a hero, and suddenly is faced with a villain. Kaiden doesn't seem like the type to make friends easily, he seems like he has a lot on his plate and is not easily willing to share. And I think it's more dramatic with broshep than with femshep, simply because I sense that romance would be in the way of his personal developement. He needs a bro to have his back, he wants a friend he can depend on and be depended on. Someone who looks past that wall he build around himself, not because they want the D, but because they care for him as a person (which I realize is p hard because he does a good job at not making things personal, it's a protective mechanism, I do it too, big reason for why I have no friends. Massive trust issues and tend to draw back when people come too close, thanks to my troubled past I am not very interesting didn't make any experiences that would me help be interesting in conversations, I would only sound whiny and annoying, so I end up being perceived as boring, but like me Kaiden is more than the sum of his horrible experiences, you just have to care about drawing it out of him (like my broshep did) and put a little thought into his behavior (like I do with Ash) andit's fine! Though I guess Ash is easier to relate to for most people. Luckily not everyone has a long history of abuse to look back on). So yeah, I think romancing Kaiden as femshep kinda isn't as good for him as befriending him as broshep (or, say romancing him in ME3). If you romance him early he gets very attached and fixiated on her, it feels... unhealthy. Romance is very high maintanance, and for someone as reclusive as Kaiden jumping from drawn back and under control of his emotions to something as twisted as "Do I love her? Does she Love me? Am I good enough? Does she like Liara more? Should she really be with someone like me? What if she's just playing with me? How do I know I am not ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ this up this very second? I really care for her, do I want to risk our friendship like this? What if this doesn't work? I don't want to lose Shepard as a friend!" It just breaks my heart to think of overwhelming this guy who probably has massive trust issues to begin with. Especially knowing that he will go through the heartbreak of thinking his love dies in ME2 and have them show up as the enemy, breaking his heart again, and pretty much confirm his trust issues as justified. Massive step backwards in his developement. Keep in mind, that even if you pick only Renegade options as broshep he still tells you to "be careful" out there when you part. He feels so betrayed, but he can't forget you were friends. Still wants to be friends. Ash tells you "good luck" but it sounds a but sarcastic to me. Where I Kaiden comes off as disapointed and unbelieving, I feel Ash is quicker to brand Sheprad a traitor. Where Ashley puts emphasis on "I" am an alliance soldier and "I" know where my loyalties lie as if she were something better than Shepard now, Kaiden puts emphasis on I am an "alliance" soldier I know where my "loyalties" lie as if he was still hoping Shepard would come to his senses reminding him of what used to matter so much more. As if testing to see if this can really be Shepard. Half expecting that if it was Shepard they'd come to their senses.
In ME3 when he works with Shepard again he is understandibly cautious, where Ashley feels simply butthurt, Kaiden comes off as more wary. He wants to trust Shepard again, but once bitten, twice shy. I think he is happy to work with Shepard again, but after all this time and seeing how he still hadn't have the chance to put things right with Sehpard (much like Ash) he is very cautious. He had a lot of time to think, and other than Ash he didn't run himself into an emotional corner and didn't write Shepard off, he seems more opening to the possibility of being wrong, I think he really WANTS to be wrong on that one. Romancing Kaiden (no matter the gender) in ME3 makes a lot more sense to me than in other parts, he came a long way, he fought alongside you, mourned your death, so you 'turn to the dark side' and then RETURN on your own after you saved the galaxy AGAIN. He wants to come back to you. Fight by your side again, feels bad about not trusting you, missed spending time and just talking about unimportant stuff. Having you around. His friend. Ashley makes the impression as if she'd be popular, she is emotional, speaks her mind, doesn't hold back. Kaiden, I can only see him have very superficial relationships aside from Shepard and the part of the Normandy crew he came to know during ME1 (and after that he didn't have contact with them anymore either, since it was their relationship to Shepard that bound them together, Shep is the center of everything). And after having had a friend like Shepard once, I can see how returnign to his old ways would be hard for him. It's like having Kobe-beef once. Suddenly having regular beef feels very bland and makes you kinda sad. xD So yeah. I think Kaiden gains a bit more personaliyt during ME3, he opens up a little bit easier, actually lets a bit personality slip here and there, not much, but even this little is a great testament to Shepards people skills. That they are able to make someone like Kaiden open up, want to be bros, have each others backs. And if you romance Kaiden in 3 it makes so much more sense because he has so much time to think about things, sort his feelings out and what Shepard means to him as a person, emotionally, and how good Shepard is for him. If Shep would stay around after the end I'd say he'd be able to make a real boy out of him (ala Pinoccio)! And really I loved being bros with kaiden in the citadel DLC, while cooking with him. Or well, drinking while watching him cook and make fun of him. How he struggles to keep up with sassy Shep! xD He isn't used to it and you can tell! But I think he is happy none the less. I'm kind of sad I didn't get the chance tpo introduce Kaiden to the guys! Vega and Cortez! Kaiden really need more friends and some practice for his social skills. He is not a bad guy and I was so hoping to make him more comfortable around people and get him to open up! Maybe it's a little because I relate to him so much, but I just want Kaiden to be happy for once, to let loose and maybe go a little crazy. Get him drunk and buy him a few blue little lapdances or something!
Kaiden is like an awkward, kinda broody little brother, where Ash is a cute, very smart-aleck little sister. They both have their pros and cons. They are both useful team mates that do a good job. They are both brave, loyal to the alliance, and have a troubled past. Just that for Ash you don't have to dig so deep to find relateble flaws, and that for Kaiden you have to be more patient and read between the lines. Ash is very simple and I love that about her, she makes me wanna give her a slap intot he back of her head a lot. Use your head gurl! It's not just there to hold you helmet up and look pretty! Kaiden is very complicated, so much it gets easily annoying and makes you not wanna go through the trouble of getting to know him (especially when you think Ash is hot), and if you don't like to take care of others/think guys have to be tough and shouldn't succumb to trauma Kaiden can't compete with Ash no matter what. Like I said he makes me wanna drag him to omega, make him drunk, and get him a whole bunch a lil blue lapdancers at the afterlife. Revigorate them spirits. He kind of makes me wanna show him how it's done. Don't hole yourself up! Vent on your surroundings! Do exhaustingly fun stuff! I know this whole thing about growing up in an abusive enviorment with extreme pressure to perform is tough and ♥♥♥♥, but- ... Arghh. Kaiden! Go to the gym, be a flirt, do something competetive, do something dangerous and extreme just for the hell of it, laugh a lot! It annoys me that he broods so much over his past, Kaiden nothings gonna change your past! Think of the future! I know that's hard especially when you think you're alone and ♥♥♥♥, but broshep is here! Let me help you man! Let me make fun of your cooking, and lets play stupid pranks on hanar on the citadel, bust crime syndicates for fun like in the old days, and talk about highly philosofical stuff like what Vega would look like if you took away his muscle, how hot my girlfriend is under that helmet, whether you should buy modelships prebuild or not, the best custom paintjobs for armor, how to tell whether a salarian is male of female (by default male is usually a safe bet I think, most of them are male anyway), and whether Chakwas is more of a mom, or a kinda hot mom. I can show you the wooorld! Galaxy. Whatever. This guy needs friends, and fun, and not think of how everything will come back to bite him in the ass. Ash just needs... She actually really needs someone to control her. Stupid little hothead, she is so adorable and need so much guidance. She's hella kickass and she really needs to learn to control her damn anger issues. Don't woory Ash, big brother is here to kick your ass when you're out of line. Again. And tie your hair up on the battle field! What the ♥♥♥♥ happened to you Ash. You used to be so much more practical and... look more reliable. Miranda has biotic halp, but dear you're normal human! Heels and flowy hair on the battlefield are a very stupid idea! Let big bro here get you a nice set of normal armor and a scrunchie! I feel so responsible for Ashley it's not funny.
Kaiden needs help to enjoy life, Ashley needs... Jesus. Aren't you supposed to be religeous Ash?? What's up with all that pent up anger/frustration and the sudden... frivolity. Like okay, I get it, she's hot, but can't she at least put her hair up on the battle field?? I have no problem with the sweet tight new clothes and the make-up. She's a young woman and she looks good! Vega will be pleased. But the weird heels (that should relaisticall break and ankles) and that hair. I'm really worried a husk might grab it ofr something.
Back to who dies on Virmire. I have a hard time deciding, even when I go by what makes most sense for the current custom Shep I play. I guess I save Kaiden 60% of the time, but in all honesty I think it might be kinder to let Kaiden sacrifice himself. If he is really as broken as I suspect, then that's something he will have to live with all his life. He might never be happy and normal, and giving him the opportunity to go out in an heroic sacrifice... I don't know. Might spare him a lot of trouble. Especially if you consider how things will go for him after ME3 ends. I think Ash is more capable of continuing on her own, finding happiness on her own, she has a lot more to live for, and is less likely to give herself up. She has a strong will to live, and meets problems head on. She might not be much of a pacifist as Kaiden (meanign I think she's probably shoot first, then ask questions), and she might not be the better choice to lend emotional support to the people after the war, but I think she is more likely to turn out as a new hero characters humanity can look up to. Ash can be a jerk, but she gets ♥♥♥♥ done, Kaiden is trying too hard to be a saint, and while I can see people liking him after ME3 when he learned so much (thanks to Shep), I think that is very likely to be his demise. He's a survivor, but not the good kind. I really think Ash would have the better post-war life. She'd deal better with it. Kaiden might be more of a help to survivors, but Ash is more of a symbol. She will handle it. No doubt. Our girl is a tough one.