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I concur. Do you think the hate posters can last that long?
No. They have no stamina.
Naw... another object will arise to take their attention away from this, especially once it's apparent they can not make a difference.
They studiously answer the call to prayer by trolling through the forums searching for every opportunity to take a shot at whatever game has offended their refined tastes and delicate sensibilities. In this forum, that game is Starfield.
Being undeterred by repeated temporary bans, circumventing permanent bans, or using alternate accounts in the pursuance of continued trolling are considered the greatest displays of devotion to the cult. Referential fellating of their prophet, St. Asmon (Grease Be Upon Him) is another key demonstration of the faith.
There are no commandments to adhere to in the Anti-Fan cult but to ascend to the highest levels, one must be in full command of the 10 Great Offenses of Starfied and be able to skillfully weave at least one of them into every possible discussion of the game. Those offenses are as follows:
1. Pronouns / Woke - Where it all began and, honestly, should have been expected by all gamers since Todd Howard is the most successful DEI hire in the industry. He never would have even been considered for his position if he wasn’t half Willy Wonka.
2. Fast Travel / Loading Screen Simulator - Immersed gamers demand immersion. It’s 2024. Get with the times. Immersion.
3. Ancient engine - We don’t care about design goals and the constraints that those goals force developers to work within, we just want the latest and greatest pretty UE5 games!
4. Poor exploration - Legitimate criticisms are required to make cultists seem not entirely like maladjusted weirdos. Sprinkle this on top of the usual scat posting and couch with cynical concern-trolling language like, “Hope they take note and turn this game around!”
5. Paid mods - Some may state that the best way to argue against the price of things, particularly with luxury goods such as video games, is to vote with one’s wallet. Cultists reject this nonsense and prefer to get into endless arguments about business practices that go absolutely nowhere.
6. Hyped to the point we thought it would add something of value to our empty, wretched lives but at least being an Anti-Fan fills that void. This collision of advertising and mismanaged expectations was even worse than when we gamers found out Red Bull doesn’t actually give us wings. (As such, Anti-Fans are prohibited from drinking Red Bull. Real gamers use Pervitan anways)
7. Trillion dollar budget for the game and where did it go, Todd? I guess all of your BGS Oompah Loompah’s gotta eat, too! Probably billed it all under outsourced work to foreign studios.
8. You can ask where the money went but all you’ll get from Todd are sweet little lies. He probably sleeps standing up just to get a break from ALWAYS LYING.
9. Starfield is not a space sim! Sure, there was absolutely no reason to expect that it would be and only being completely oblivious to the types of games that BGS makes would make this a reasonable gripe but reasonableness has no place in this cult.
10. All those negative reviews! Numbers don’t lie! It feels good to assure the Anti-Fan’s opinion by citing those numbers, much like how sheep find themselves most comfortable when part of the flock.
It is every cultist’s duty to not let these offenses go unnoticed or unmentioned. This gospel must be spread so that all heretical Starfield fanboys and defenders be given the chance to see the error of their ways and follow the cult’s guiding light toward salvation. It’s not by happenstance that Great Offense #10 is the ultimate one to master. It is the final piece of the puzzle in becoming a Top G Anti-Fan because once all ten offenses become an inextricable part of you and the urge to troll the forums with nonsensical scat posting becomes irresistible , you’ll metamorphose into one of the elite forum jesters from which there is Starfield Hate Expected Every Post.
Some cults promised eternal paradise as a reward to their members but what does the cult of the Anti-Fan offer to its slavish devotees, those who fully embrace the S.H.E.E.P. way of life? The cult offers the blessing of knowing you’ll never have to burden other people with an original thought or any civility ever again. Just stick to trite recitation of the 10 Great Offenses and you’ll secure your spot in Gamer Heaven - where DLC is always free and the only physics is jiggle physics.