🛢️ OLD FARTS UNIVERSAL CAFE 🛢️

[Black Album]

Welcome one and all … to ... OFUC

Customer: Excuse me … but I can’t find any milk for my coffee
Barista: In space no one can … here .. use cream

A simple cafe for people to chat and be frivolous before, during and after the launch of the highly anticipated Starfield game.
This place is just a temporary hideaway if the rows and arguments of the main forum are getting you down and you need somewhere to “chill” for a short time. Please don’t try to continue any arguments from other threads here … it’s not that kind of place.

No … here should be somewhere to relax … tell a few funny stories, make up outlandish adventures of your planned gameplay, meet some new friends whom you may want to chat with at a much later date … or totally ignore when you head off solo into outer space.

There will be no daily mod reviews, no morning greetings from a genial host … no ladies in inappropriate garments serving you drinks … (in fact … it’s pretty much self-service although there is a night shift robot who hoses down any ooze emitting from the Slug-Creatures).
There won't be a theme or any kind of lead character playing the host and we won’t be adhering strictly to the “lore” because, tbh, my attention to the finite details of mythology has always been a bit of an “Achilles Elbow” for me.

Once the main airlock doors are opened and the game is released then I imagine that this place will implode and will be stored, in a jar, on a back room shelf where no one will ever see it again.
But until then … chat away (or don’t ) … I’ll be hiding in a barrel somewhere, probably fast asleep.

OFUC is open for business … everyone is welcome …
(Apart from dragons … they make far too much mess with all of that flapping and fire breathing)

Disclaimer:
The management take no responsibility for any incidents involving “the bucket”.
Go near it at your own risk.

A fully ripped-off franchise of Ilja's Forum Works Ltd. (all rights reserved)

[EASY PETE]

Young Farts unite

[Black Album]

Ahh … the young fart aroma…
Quaint … but doesn’t have the depth and reach of an old fart …

[Tenoshii]

Reminds me of that cafe I was in when the gamer activists approached me offering to pay $40 for me not to pre-order Starfield.

[Jack Greedy]

Hello oldies! Which faction are You going to play with? Or maybe side with them all if possible? It looks like we can have different starts in the game.

[Black Album]

I won’t actually be playing the game myself so there’s no need to preorder …
I’ll need a new laptop first … and then I’ll wait for a sale … or I may wait until the DLC is released … or I may win the lottery and buy everyone a copy … who knows.

[Tenoshii]

Originally posted by Black Album:

or I may win the lottery and buy everyone a copy … who knows.

[Ilja]

Hey BA.

[Black Album]

Hiya Ilja …
The first of the “crew” arrive ..
Don’t forget that this is just a temporary hangout so we’re not posting too much in the Skyrim forum

[Ilja]

I know. I'll just be posting too much on both forums. Deal?

Kidding. My vacation ends after this week. Back to work. Actually, I am already filling a shift at work today.

[Mephitic]

Subscribed, and thanks for this BA, it is a welcome addition and I look forward to scintillating repartee.

[ULTRA]

Originally posted by Black Album:

This place is just a temporary hideaway if the rows and arguments of the main forum are getting you down and you need somewhere to “chill” for a short time.

Yes, because the other cafe/coffee house threads weren't microcosms of gatekeeping and cliques enacting faux-bans on people.

Originally posted by Tenoshii:

Reminds me of that cafe I was in when the gamer activists approached me offering to pay $40 for me not to pre-order Starfield.

That's nothing, Todd paid me more than that to stay off the forums

[patrick]

Originally posted by Tenoshii:

Reminds me of that cafe I was in when the gamer activists approached me offering to pay $40 for me not to pre-order Starfield.

I would have taken that $40 and pre-ordered Starfield again.

[Black Album]

I would’ve taken the $40 … that’s about it …
I may have bought some sweeties or I may have invested it in Microsoft stock and hoped that it would increase in value so I would be able to buy the next Elder Scrolls game with my new found riches.

[-={LG}=-]

Originally posted by ULTRA:

Yes, because the other cafe/coffee house threads weren't microcosms of gatekeeping and cliques enacting faux-bans on people.

I like it when someone asks you to name some alternative games to play, you provide them a list, then they delete their comment and report you for spam...and you get disciplined by the moderators.

[Alstack]

Thanks for opening here BA. I know here we can post ideas along with our thoughts without having to follow someone's rigid "Do it my way" approach to everything.