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Simply gaining a ping with IP/wifi geolocation would be sufficient should it get taken. This seems fairly trivial to do if not for the software restrictions described in my original post. So I'm seeking solutions to the above issues should anyone know how to work around them.
A lot depends on the demographic of thief:
Software based tracking would on work for the idiots that put the Deck online hoping you don't have a PIN so they can take over your accounts. The next leveled thief would power it off and re-image it being interested in the hardware knowing your Steam account is Geo IP tracked already.
The level of tracking deterrent would be an implemented Feature request for Valve's implementation of some sort of Dell-like service tag firmware serial number. Again, a next level thief / cleanser would acquire tools to change the asset tag either in firmware or some other counter measure.
Another layer is the physical element. The airtag solution would likely be best (if you're into Apple's walled garden), being a physical lo-jack. However, you risk structural integrity of your Deck. Again, semi-pro thieves know to scanning for BT tags of all kinds (airtag, tile, etc.)
I do agree at least a "Service Tag" / Asset Tag *AND* software tracker solution should exist - minimally. (This also means Valve would have follow the EU rules about GDPR or so.)
I would even suggest tying the Asset Tag to your Steam Guard so account modification (changes, purchases, game deletion from account due to revenge, etc.) cannot occur without your Steam Guard. Remember, Steam Guard is not needed to play the games, it's just additional validation of who you are to use your account.
Dell does it. Microsoft does it since Win10 licensing. Apple does it. It's not that uncommon. We won't be able to protect the Decks from Semi/Pro thieves. But you surely can bust the punk at school/work who takes your deck without asking.
So be sure to put in a feature request. All the Asset Tag<>Account tracking can be added anytime. The command `dmidecode` and others can pull out the mainboard's serial number and other details from the kernel's /sys/ directory structure. (You also have your WiFi & BT MAC addresses. They could be changed but those changes would not easily persist between OS updates.)
Now here's hoping the thief doesn't physically break your Deck out of spite. You might need to consider how much you want to insure it for? Cost of the Deck OR Deck plus your entire Steam purchases too?
Update: Additionally, it would be worth while to put in a feature request for NFC in the Deck v.2.0. Not only could this be used for games, but it could be used for asset tracking without broadcasting via BT/WiFi.