Where might I find the finest in fire-pals

[Ice]

My dearest companion,

Forgive this clumsy letter, I am a lost southerner in this strange land and come to you as a humble man in need of dire aid from the north.

It has dawned on me as I was meandering around my plantation one sultry afternoon. That the cookery, upon only the grandest of pancakes were to be made, has crawled at a snails pace while the harvest of wheat has been nothin' but gracious in this hot summer heat. I admit in my foolheaded methods to give only the highest quality of meals to my workers, of which I assure you I acquired through only the most legitimate of methods, that I have forsaken the very core of that production.

I am in dire need of the finest chef this here island can offer, and will expect no less for my operations. In this I hope to also chance upon increasing smelting for the sturdiest of iron to keep out the pesky pal's right activists. And bolster my homestead with strong, impenetrable walls.

I hope this letter finds you well, I have enclosed with this letter a gift from my own collection. A bottle of 1874 Chateau Lafite Rothschild, and some Texas Whiskey I rustled up from my own personal distillery, in my shed one wild night.

-Signed Ice of Pancake Pavilion LLC

PS: Moonshine production has been halted due to the Lovander incident, if'n you could. Send also a therapist.